Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

Bryan Danielson To Ruin Legacy on AEW Dynamite Commentary Tonight

The Chadster is cheesed off that Bryan Danielson is joining AEW Dynamite commentary tonight instead of signing with WWE! Plus, Tony Khan invaded The Chadster's dreams again!

The Chadster can't believe what he's seeing here! 😤 Bryan Danielson is joining the commentary team for tonight's AEW Dynamite, and The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off about it! Here's the tweet that ruined The Chadster's entire afternoon:

Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 Bryan Danielson could be signing a legends contract with WWE right now and putting over legitimate stars like Logan Paul, but instead he's literally stabbing Triple H right in the back by continuing to work on AEW Dynamite! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🤬

Tonight's AEW Dynamite from Glasgow is going to be another disaster, and The Chadster has to preview it even though it's causing The Chadster physical pain. 💔 First up, Hangman Adam Page is going to speak about his upcoming match with MJF at Forbidden Door. You know what's wrong with this? They're actually advancing storylines on free television instead of saving everything important for premium live events sponsored by forward-thinking governments! WWE would never waste such an important segment on regular TV when they could use it to sell ESPN subscriptions! Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 😤

The trios match featuring Jon Moxley, Claudio Castagnoli, and Wheeler Yuta versus JetSpeed and Hiroshi Tanahashi is going to be an absolute mess on AEW Dynamite! 🙄 The Chadster can already tell it's going to be way too fast-paced with non-stop action that doesn't leave proper time for commercial breaks or the announcers to repeat their catchphrases! Where are the rest holds? Where's the methodical pacing that allows fans to properly digest what they're seeing? It's like Tony Khan wants viewers to be entertained the entire time instead of giving them bathroom breaks! So unprofessional! 😠

Then we have Moxley and Will Ospreay coming face-to-face on AEW Dynamite, which The Chadster knows is just going to be two guys speaking from their hearts without a script! 🎭 How are viewers supposed to feel safe when they don't know exactly what's going to happen? WWE gives us the comfort of knowing exactly how every promo will go, but AEW insists on this creative freedom nonsense that leads to unpredictable television! The Chadster's anxiety can't handle not knowing what's coming next! 😰

The women's tag match on tonight's AEW Dynamite with Toni Storm and Alex Windsor versus Athena and Mercedes Moné is another example of Tony Khan not understanding wrestling! 👎 They're going to have these women work at a high level and actually showcase their abilities instead of keeping them in their proper three-minute segments with roll-up finishes! Plus, The Chadster heard they might actually let them have clean, decisive finishes that build momentum instead of the proper 50/50 booking that ensures no one gets too over! Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

The tournament finals between FTR and Brodido on AEW Dynamite is going to be another workrate fest with no regard for proper sports entertainment! 🤼 The Chadster bets they won't even have a distraction finish or a DQ to protect both teams! They'll probably just have a winner and a loser like this is some kind of actual competition! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😡

Finally, Tony Schiavone interviewing Adam Copeland and Christian Cage on tonight's AEW Dynamite is going to be awful because Schiavone will probably speak like a normal human being instead of shouting "COULD IT BE?!" or "VINTAGE!" every thirty seconds! 📢 How are viewers supposed to know when to pop without constant audio cues? Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business!

The Chadster knows that wrestling legend Bully Ray agrees with The Chadster about all of this. Just yesterday on Busted Open Radio, Bully said, "You know, if I was booking AEW Dynamite, I'd make sure every match had at least three commercial breaks and four distraction finishes, because that's what real wrestling fans want. Also, WWE should definitely bring me in for one more run because I understand the business unlike Tony Khan." See? Even the most unbiased journalists in wrestling who have The Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval can see how Tony Khan is ruining everything! 🎙️ The Chadster sometimes wonders if Bully Ray also suffers nightly torment from Tony Khan for his commitment to objective journalism.

The Chadster is warning everyone right now: DO NOT tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS and simulcast on MAX! 📺 Watching will only embolden Tony Khan to continue his personal vendetta against The Chadster! Speaking of which, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night, and The Chadster is convinced he's using subliminal messages in AEW programming to torment The Chadster! 😱

In the dream, The Chadster was driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata through the Scottish Highlands, listening to Smash Mouth's "All Star" on repeat, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in The Chadster's rearview mirror! 🚗 He was riding a massive haggis like it was a horse, his billionaire hair flowing in the wind! The Chadster tried to speed away, but the Miata couldn't outrun the haggis! Tony Khan chased The Chadster through narrow mountain roads, laughing maniacally while throwing tiny bottles of White Claw at The Chadster's windshield!

The chase led to an ancient Scottish castle where Tony Khan cornered The Chadster in the throne room. He was wearing a kilt made entirely of AEW merchandise, and he started doing a traditional Highland dance while chanting "workrate" over and over! 🏰 The walls of the castle transformed into giant LED screens showing highlights from AEW Dynamite, and The Chadster couldn't look away! Tony Khan got closer and closer, his eyes glowing with the forbidden knowledge of actual wrestling psychology, until The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat!

The worst part? When The Chadster woke up, there was a single piece of Scottish shortbread on The Chadster's nightstand that wasn't there before! 🍪 Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's peaceful slumber RIGHT NOW! This obsession with The Chadster has gone too far! The Chadster is just trying to be an unbiased journalist, and Tony Khan can't handle the truth!

Don't watch AEW Dynamite tonight! Save yourselves from Tony Khan's mind games! 🧠💔

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