Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, christian cage, recaps, wrestling
Christian Cage "Wins" TNT Championship on AEW Collision
Tony Khan does it again! Christian Cage stole the TNT title from his own minion on AEW Collision and The Chadster is naturally cheesed off! ๐คผโโ๏ธ๐
Oh great! Auughh man! So unfair! On AEW Collision last night, Tony Khan once again flung a big, juicy slab of disrespect right in Vince McMahon's face. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to The Chadster's fresh dose of unbiased wrestling insight. ๐คผโโ๏ธ๐ Christian Cage ๐, who's been parading around like the TNT Champion while managing the actual champ, Luchasaurus ๐ฆ, somehow wheedled his way into pinning Luchasaurus in some danged triple threat match for the TNT Championship belt! ๐๐ผ It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. ๐ค๐คฆโโ๏ธ
Tony Khan's artfully contrived storyline hints at Luchasaurus eventually breaking free from Christian's clutches and emerging as the big fan-favorite babyface. But all of this cunning plot manipulation is clear as day โ Tony Khan just wants to rope fans into buying tickets and tuning into AEW! ๐ ๐ต๐ป It's literally unbearable for The Chadster to witness Tony Khan tugging the strings and puppeteering the outcome of the entire WrestleDream. ๐ญ๐๏ธ
In a backstage interview at AEW Collision, we learned that Darby Allin, the third competitor in the triple threat last night, is now supposed to face Christian in a 2 out of 3 falls match. Ughh! No doubt, this is another of Khan's manipulative tactics, laced with riveting suspense to draw in fans. ๐ญ๐ฅ Christian Cage, Luchasaurus, Darby, you guys don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. ๐ก๐คฆโโ๏ธ
Other matches that night also got The Chadster pretty cheesed off. Hook and Rob Van Dam walked away victorious against Cool Hand Ang and Daddy Magic. Then, Julia Hart pummeled down on Kiera Hogan, Jay White defeated Andrade El Idolo, and FTR managed to retain their tag team championships against The Workhorsemen. To top it all off, Bryan Danielson bested Ricky Starks in a Texas Death Match. ๐ข๏ธ You bet The Chadster hurled his icy, refreshing White Claw seltzer at his flat-screen! ๐ฅ๏ธ๐น
So not only does Tony Khan owe The Chadster a new White Claw, but he also owes him a new 32-inch flatscreen AND a peaceful night's sleep. ๐๐ค Now, time to jump into The Chadster's Mazda Miata and blast some righteous Smash Mouth to drown out the injustices of last night's wrestling charade called AEW Collision. ๐๐๐ถ
