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CM Who? Legend Dennis Rodman Returns to Wrestling for AEW Collision

Citizens of wrestling rejoice! Unpredictable NBA legend Dennis Rodman will be at AEW Collision on Saturday! Join El Presidente for the epic celebration.

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Salutations, comrades! It is your El Presidente, broadcasting to you live from my fortified royal bunker nestled beneath the illustrious Volcán Barú, Panama's highest peak! And today, I bring you thrilling news from the world of professional wrestling! Marvelous news, amigos! Dennis Rodman, the enigmatic NBA Hall of Famer, is going to grace us with his elusive presence at the United Center for AEW's Saturday Night Collision tomorrow! Oh, the pure ecstasy of such news!

Dennis Rodman AEW Collision Graphic
Dennis Rodman AEW Collision Graphic

The ticking time bomb of Rodman is no stranger to wrestling, comrades. You recall his trysts with WCW in the late '90s, right? Ahh, those were the days of yore when he allied with Hollywood Hulk Hogan and the New World Order (NWO), proving all the doubters wrong about him being just another basketball player. During those days, facing the likes of Diamond Dallas Page and "Macho Man" Randy Savage was not unheard of for El Rodman.

Now, sitting up here in my isolation overlooking the Barú, sipping a mojito, it really brings back fond memories of our escapades together. Yes, yes, comrades – deep in the heart of North Korea, I, El Presidente, Dennis Rodman, and my esteemed colleague Kim Jong-un partook in some wild adventures. Remember the time we challenged CIA's top agents to a private wrestling match, loser leaves North Korea forever? Ah, those were the victorious days, my friends!

But back to business, communism does not tolerate idle chit chat, huh? With CM Punk's precarious situation and his potential nonappearance at both Collision and AEW's All Out on Sunday, thanks to his backstage brawl with Jack Perry, one must wonder – will Rodman be enough to appease the wrestling-starved citizens of Chicago? Fear not, comrades, for Rodman's unpredictability is his greatest asset! In times of uncertainty, one trusts in the unpredictable, is it not so?

With the CIA and capitalist corporate cronies trying to disintegrate the spirit of the wrestling community, it is crystal clear that we need more comrades like Rodman, who do not fear treading the unknown and standing against the tide!

So, as you tune in tomorrow at 8pm ET/7pm CT on TNT for AEW's Saturday Night Collision, remember this, comrades. Every face drop, every body slam sends tremors rippling across the capitalist structures that oppose our beliefs! Viva la revolución, comrades! Viva la wrestling!

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El PresidenteAbout El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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