Posted in: TV | Tagged: Double Shot at Love, Jersey Shore, mtv, reality tv

Double Shot at Love Season 3 Episode 4: If You Like Fake B****es…

On Double Shot at Love this week, accusations were made, kisses were stolen, and the fake butt cheeks were laid on the table… literally. Greetings, comrades! It is I, you El Presidente, here to share my thoughts on Double Shot at Love Season 3 Episode 4, titled "Chicken Buttlets," which aired this week on MTV. Here are my takeaways from the show.

The Note

Sam, The first night at BED when you left, Rob made out with 2 girls and put his head between a cocktail waitress's breasts. Also was grinding with multiple fat women. When you left crying at KLUTCH, Ron was holding hands and dancing with a female and took down her number. Multiple people in the house know, therefore you should know the truth.

Debuting in Jersey Shore Season 2 Episode 5, The Note, an infamous letter to Sammi Sweetheart composed by J-Woww and Snooki in an internet cafe and detailing the philandering antics of Sammi's then-boyfriend Ronnie, was a series-defining moment for Jersey Shore. In Double Shot at Love Season 2, Nikki wrote a note professing her love to Pauly D, and they ended up together. A third note was composed in this episode of Double Shot at Love, and it tipped the balance of Jersey Shore notes back to the negative. Jasmine wrote the note for Vinny, including a coupon for some alone time and a kiss, if only Vinny would check a box to indicate consent.

"I hope he caches in the coupon because if not, that means he likes fake ass bitches," Jasmine commented. Unfortunately, Vinny did not cash in the coupon, setting the stage for Jasmine's demise later in the episode and one of the strangest eliminations in reality TV history.

No One Likes a Bully

More drama kicked off this episode as the women vied for alone time with Vinny. The typical reality tv trope sees contestants interrupt a one-on-one chat with their potential love interest. "Mind if I steal him for a minute?" But once Peyton obtained her time laying in a daybed and chatting with Vinny, she didn't want to give it up. So when Erica P tried to steal Vinny away, Peyton shut her down. A dejected Erica P was encouraged by Nikki and Pauly to try again, and this time she succeeded. But rather than try to form a connection with Vinny, she complained that Peyton was bullying her.

Vinny took the accusation seriously, and, later in the episode while the cast explored a "boardwalk" constructed outside the hotel, Vinny told Peyton what Erika P said while they rode the Ferris wheel. This didn't sit well with Peyton, who was hoping for a kiss from Vinny rather than an accusation of bullying. Peyton confronted Erica P in the hotel, where she claimed her words had been misconstrued. The next morning, Vinny, seeing how distraught Peyton was over the whole thing, agreed that she was probably not a bully after all.

Erika D Gets the Kiss

While Erica P was causing drama, Erika D used her skills at the boardwalk water gun game to score a private date with Vinny at the boardwalk. Erika D and Vinny vibe well, with similarly sarcastic personalities. Erika D ended up scoring a kiss with Vinny before they returned to the hotel. I could see these two together, comrades.

Fake Bitches

For this week's elimination dinner, Vinny called just two girls: Leanzy and Jasmine. Though Vinny clicked with Leanzy on a friendship level, with the two sharing jokes throughout the show, he didn't see it going anywhere, so Leanzy was sent home amicably. The next elimination would be anything but.

Vinny told Jasmine that they weren't connected, and while there's someone out there for her, it isn't Vinny. In response, Jasmine told Vinny that, since she was leaving, she would lose her last opportunity to warn Vinny about all the "fake bitches" he was keeping around. To illustrate the point, Jasmine reached into her dress and pulled out a fake ass cheek, slapping it on Vinny's plate, "since you like fake bitches."

"Is this a chicken cutlet?" Vinny asked as he tried to cut it with a fork and knife. Jasmine warned Vinny that many of the girls Vinny was focusing his attention on were "fake bitches" and were taking part in this exploitative reality TV show for all the wrong reasons. Jasmine left Vinny alone with the fake ass cheek and worries about the motivations behind the girls he's been connecting with.

Comrade Vinny is right to be distrustful. Just as it's true in the world of reality television, it's true in the world of international despotism. Everybody wants to use you for their own ends. I can't tell you how many times the American CIA has tried to manipulate your El Presidente by arming dissidents, sabotaging the economy, or fomenting coup attempts. On the world stage, there are no faker bitches than the American CIA, comrades. The only question is, which of the girls vying for Vinny's love is a potential CIA operative? If it were me, comrade, I'd have them all executed just in case, but lacking secret police he can order to take care of his dirty work, Vinny will need to rely on his own judgment to decide who is attempting to win his love on MTV for the right reasons.

Jasmine's fake ass cheek and "fake bitches" reveal elevated this episode to an above-average score. As Vinny noted during the elimination dinner, some of the girls are beginning to form cliques, which is sure to lead to more drama later. But even sooner than that, the next episode will feature a visit from Angelina, which should help send any simmering drama straight to the top. Until next time, my friends: socialism or death! And watch out for fake bitches and the American CIA.

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