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Posted in: TV | Tagged: Double Shot at Love, Jersey Shore, mtv, reality tv
Double Shot at Love Season 3 Episode 7: Honey Loses the Horse Race
Jersey Shore star Vinny continued to cut through the drama and search for his shot at true love and happiness on MTV's Double Shot at Love this week, and comrades, I am here to tell you all about it. Hola, amigos! It is I, your El Presidente, and when I am not torturing political dissidents or thwarting coup attempts, I spend my time in the best way possible: by watching trashy reality television! Here's what happened on this week's episode of Double Shot at Love.
Double Shot at Love Review
This week's episode of Double Shot at Love, Season 3 Episode 7, was titled "Look Out for the Quiet Ones." In the episode, Vinnie continued to reckon with the deepening divide between the various women competing to win his love.
Claudelia's Trauma and Honeys Drama
Many of the women hoping to win the love of a celebrity on reality television were very upset still that Claudelia tried to leave last week rather than go to the elimination dinner, turning the tables and causing Vinnie to chase her and bring her back. No one was more pissed off than Honey, comrades, who pulled Claudelia into a private chat to threaten her.
Claudelia tried to explain that the reason she has trouble opening up is that she had an ex-boyfriend who died. Claudelia expected this to get sympathy from Honey, but Honey brushed it off. You go, girl! Don't let Claudelia stop you from creating righteous drama for my entertainment! Haw haw haw haw!
Vinny and Claudelia Coffee date
One person who did bite was Vinny when Claudelia opened up to him about the death during their coffee date, a date, by the way, which further irritated the other women who can't score alone time with Vinny despite not threatening to leave.
You know that's the whole point, right comrades? Claudelia reversed the roles when she did that and now she holds all the power. It's a trick I've used before myself. Whenever the American CIA starts feeling too comfortable in their attempts to foment insurrection and overthrow my government, I like o reverse the roles a little bit. I'll say things like, "you know what, comrades, I'm getting sick of living in a luxurious palace and being the envy of every one of my people. Maybe I'll give it all up and turn over power to my protege, Maduro."
And of course, as soon as they hear that, they're like, "no-no, your Excellency, please don't destabilize the entire continent and throw the world economy into chaos!" That's when I know I've got them right where I want them. Haw haw haw haw!
Anyway, Vinny bought into Claudelia's line of reasoning and even her reluctance to call out the person who threatened her, though of course, she did reveal it was Honey, which would make a big difference later.
Danielle Gets a Date… and a Kiss
Another girl who was not happy with Claudelia was Danielle, but after being scolded by Vinny for her attitude last week, she avoided getting involved. That paid off when Danielle won a bouncy horse race contest, winning herself a date with Vinny that finally led to the two of them getting a kiss.
Everyone knows that Danielle is physically Vinny's type, but she is also quite aggro about the other girls competing for Vinny's affection. Would she be able to handle public life with the Keto Guido, where numerous women probably throw themselves at him on a daily basis?
It isn't an easy life, comrades, being the object of the sexual desire of an entire nation of women (and men). I would know. I have been voted Sexiest Man in the Country for thirty straight years, comrades. Of course, it helps that if I have any rivals vying for my crown, I have them brutally assassinated or imprisoned for the rest of their lives. Haw haw haw haw!
Eliminating the Drama
Vinny also squashed some beef with Akelia and Peyton, another two girls who have been growing increasingly hostile toward their fellow competitors over the last several weeks. After Nikki hosted all the girls for a dinner party and noticed that both Akielia and Peyton seemed standoffish, Vinny invited them to drinks before the elimination dinner. Neither girl was sent home and they seemed to accept that Vinny said he felt "strong connections" with both of them, which should hopefully prevent them from murdering their competitors. I mean, not that it would stop me. Competition must be eliminated before it gets out of hand, comrades. But admittedly, the world of international despotism is a little bit more cutthroat than a reality TV dating show. Only a little bit, though.
For the elimination dinner itself, Vinny invited Honey and Jillian. But before he had a chance to make a decision, Honey self-sabotaged, perhaps sensing the end was near. First, she acted weirdly and confrontational, spit out some of her food in a napkin, and then excused herself to take a dump, which is not the greatest way to start a date. While she was gone, Vinny decided to keep Jillian and when Honey returned, he sent her home.
Comrades, I'm not really sure that Vinny understands the point of this show. Who goes around a reality TV show and actively tries to squash all the drama?! The drama is why people are watching! It's a mistake to get rid of a girl like Honey who is willing to ignore another woman's personal trauma in the pursuit of victory, and if I were him, comrades, I would have let Akelia and Peyton's anger boil over the top rather than cooling them down before it exploded into a massive house fight. Vinny should know better, being a veteran of reality television, but it seems he may have forgotten his roots.
Until next time, amigos: socialism or death!
Double Shot at Love Season 3 Episode 7: Look Out for the Quiet Ones
6/10
This episode featured lots of good drama, but counterproductive to the point of the show, Vinny spent the entire episode trying to squash it convince everyone to get along. Doesn't he know this is a reality TV show?!
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