Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from inside the factory that makes the My Pillow. We all saw what was on the notes of the My Pillow Guy when he visited President Trump at the White House yesterday: plans to declare martial law. But that's only the beginning, amigos. My Pillow Guy has something even worse in store if that doesn't work: an armed uprising of die-hard Trump supporters carrying the most deadly weapons imaginable: My Pillows! Yes, that's right, the President of the United States is plotting with the My Pillow CEO to overthrow the United States government in a pillow fight! But not if El Presidente can stop them! Before that, however, I must first participate in Bleeding Cool's live coverage of Impact Wrestling's Hard to Kill PPV.
But first, the capitalist scum who control the means of production at Bleeding Cool have insisted that I include this seo-optimized keyword-rich boilerplate text about the PPV. One day, El Presidente vows, they will all die like dogs, but until then, I will play their game, comrades. Here it is:
Hard to Kill, the first PPV event of 2021 from Impact Wrestling, also features the culmination of the first part of the company's crossover with AEW. AEW Champion Kenny Omega will team with Impact Tag Team Champions The Good Brothers to face Impact Champion Rich Swann, TNA Champion Moose, and Chris Sabin of the Motor City Machine Guns in the main event. Hard to Kill also features a Knockouts Championship match, with Deonna Purrazzo defending against Taya Valkyrie, a Triple Threat for the X-Division Championship between Chris Bey, Rohit Raju, and champion Manik, as well as the finals of the Knockouts Tag Team Championship tournament, with Kiera Hogan and Tasha Steelz facing Havok and Neveah. In non-title competition at Hard to Kill, Eric Young, Joe Doering, and Deaner face Tommy Dreamer, Cousin Jake, and Rhino in an Old School Rules match, Eddie Edwards takes on Sami Callihan in Barbed Wire Massacre, Ethan Page faces The Karate Man (who is also Ethan Page), and Rosemary and Crazzy Steve take on Tenille Dashwood & Kaleb with a K. Finally, on the pre-show, Brian Myers faces Josh Alexander. Hard to Kill emanates as usual from Skyway Studios in Nashville and can be purchased on traditional PPV or on the Fite TV app.
Impact Wrestling Hard to Kill PPV Results Part 1
About halfway into the Hard to Kill pre-show, we get our first taste of Matt Striker and D-Lo Brown on commentary. This the sound of an Impact Wrestling without that imperialist pig Josh Matthew, and it's glorious, comrades!
Brian Myers vs. Josh Alexander
Brian Myers' Impact gimmick is that he's an arrogant prick after years of jobbing in WWE. Josh Alexander has lost his tag team partner, since Ethan Page hasn't re-signed with Impact. They're stuck on the pre-show. Both men desperately need both a win and a change of pace.
Wait.. what's this? There is… a crowd? The building appears empty as always, but there is crowd noise. Is Impact piping this noise in? El Presidente demands an explanation! On AXS TV, Impact takes a commercial break, but on Fite, the match continues after some technical difficulties.
Okay, this is definitely some very low budget piped-in crowd noise. It is not great, my friends. But the commentary team is a so much better than Josh Matthews. Brian Myers wins cheaply with a clothesline while Josh Alexander is blinded by his own headgear.
Winner: Brian Myers
El Presidente's Rating: ☭☭½
A fair match. Like Karl Marx used to say: from each match according to its ability, to each match according to its need. Impact's pre-show, at least on Fite, has been having some technical difficulties. From audio issues to video issues to the audio continuing to play while the pre-show panels believes they are off the air so we can hear their private conversation, to the poor quality of the piped-in crowd noise that doesn't really ebb and flow with the match like WWE's fake crowd noise at least attempts to, it's a rough start. Hopefully, they get it together for the main show.
Bleeding Cool's live coverage of Impact Wrestling's Hard to Kill PPV continues. Keep checking back for new articles as each match finishes. Now, El Presidente must take a break to load some My Pillows with extra fluff to give me an advantage in the upcoming pillow rebellion. Haw haw haw haw! Until I see you again, amigos: socialism or death!
This post is part of a multi-part series: Impact Hard to Kill 2021 Results.
- Hard to Kill Results – Brian Myers vs. Josh Alexander
- Hard to Kill Results – Tenille and Kaleb vs. Steve and Rosemary
- Hard to Kill Results – Old School Rules 6-Man Match
- Hard to Kill Results – Steelz and Hogan vs. Havok and Neveah
- Hard to Kill Results – What's Jack Snyder Doing in the Impact Zone?!
- Hard to Kill Results – X-Division Championship Triple Threat
- Hard to Kill Results – Taya Valkyrie vs. Deonna Purrazzo
- Hard to Kill Results – In This Match… an Ethan Page Will DIE!
- Hard to Kill Results – Callihan vs. Edwards Barbed Wire Massacre