Jersey Shore: Family Vacation S05E11: The Make-Up Before The Breakup

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, once again here to tell you all about this week's episode of MTV's Jersey Shore: Family Vacation. Jersey Shore: Family Vacation Season 5 Episode 11 "Little Big Town" picked up where last week's episode left off. If you need a reminder, after a fun party on a mansion boat rented by Deena, the roommates were greeted by a tantric sex expert. Unfortunately, given all of the drama surrounding Angelina's marriage and sex life, Angelina and Chris felt singled out by the sexpert. In this episode, he worked with each of the other couples on relationship-building episodes before finally getting to Angelina and Chris last, which disarmed them somewhat. During the exercise, Angelina communicated to Chris that she didn't like when he was lazy or refused to accept responsibility for his part in their troubles and that she really didn't like when he left the house for two months as it brings up abandonment issues with her father.

Jersey Shore: Family Vacation S5E11 - The Make-Up Before the Breakup
Jersey Shore: Family Vacation screencap

Chris, for his part, listened to Angelina's complaints and told her that he doesn't like when she puts her family or friends first before him. Both agreed they love each other and want to work things out, with a little help from Nikki, who asked them one thing they love about one another. Chris broke down in tears. The roommates applauded. Everyone was feeling pretty good about helping Angelina and Chris achieve a breakthrough in saving their marriage, with one day to go before Angelina's decision-making deadline.

Unfortunately, as we know, Chris filed for divorce from Angelina in February, after filming ended for this season of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation. So the breakthrough wasn't enough to prevent the divorce and all the self-congratulatory sentiment from the roommates was thoroughly unwarranted. Comrades, I know how they feel. I tried to talk a good friend of mine out of making a really bad decision a few weeks ago, and I thought I got through to him when he promised he just wanted to get some takeout from one of his favorite borscht places, and, well… you know how that worked out, comrades: with the condemnation of the entire international community! The point is, you should never count your chickens before they hatch.

Other happenings in the episode included Snooki and Deena attempting to film a pilot for a Jersey Shore spinoff, The Meatball Show, a talk show where they get really wasted and interview a guest, which I have to admit I would definitely watch, comrades. Angelina served as the first guest and the show was not nearly as bad as it should have been, with Angelina promoting her personal brand of vagina spray to prevent chafing, which Snooki took issue with, accusing Angelina of having "a stinky."

The real fun came the following morning. Pauly D and Nikki had to leave for a DJ gig, but Pauly left a surprise prank for the roomies. He booked a lie detector to arrive, and he left a note telling this to The Situation, who planned to use it to finally get to the bottom of whether or not Angelina and Chris really had sex during the vacation. Of course, the show ended before we could get to that juicy stuff.

Next week's episode of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation is the season finale, and I'll be here to tell you all about it, comrades. Hopefully, they filmed some catchup scenes with the cast reacting to Angelina's divorce, as Angelina has taken to Twitter and explained recent fallout with the other cast members by claiming Chris contacted the roommates and told them "lies."

Until next time, my friends: socialism or death!

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About El Presidente

After a successful fourteen-year career as a South American dictator, El Presidente faked his own death in 2013 in order to pursue his two true passions: rigging American elections for Joe Biden, and wrestling dirt sheet reporting. Since opportunities to rig the election for Joe Biden were few and far between until recently, El Presidente mostly focused on the wrestling dirt sheet reporting, where he became one of the best in the business. Unfortunately, the American CIA sabotaged his 1-900 hotline, the pinnacle of his country's wrestling news technology, and imperialist hacks like Meltzer, Johnson, Sapp, and Satin took all the credit on their stupid websites. Finally, El Presidente has found a way to break into the American market by becoming a Bleeding Cool contributor, so get ready for the spread of great wrestling news and socialism, comrades!
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