Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, WWE Raw

Jey Uso Wins Intercontinental Title on Greatest WWE Raw of All Time

The Chadster celebrates Jey Uso's IC title win on WWE Raw's best episode ever! AEW could never compete with this epic show! 🏆😤

The Chadster is absolutely blown away by what went down on WWE Raw last night! 🤯💥 Jey Uso winning the Intercontinental Championship from Bron Breakker was just the kind of bold, exciting booking that proves why WWE is light years ahead of AEW. 🏆🥇

Auughh man! So unfair to AEW! 🙄 Tony Khan would never have the guts to book such a major title change on a regular episode of Dynamite or Collision. That's because Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😤 WWE knows how to keep fans on the edge of their seats, while AEW just… well, The Chadster doesn't even want to think about what AEW does. 🤢

Jey Uso's singles career is so inspiring, unlike anything AEW provides. 🌟 AEW fans have nothing to aspire to because AEW is a terrible company, but WWE fans like The Chadster have incredibly role models like Uso. The Chadster was so excited by Uso's win that he chugged four White Claws and did an Uso Splash off his couch onto the coffee table, shattering it and getting The Chadster's ripped chest and twelve-pack abs all bloody. 💪🍺 But The Chadster didn't care because his pain is nothing compared to the pain WWE suffers because of Tony Khan bullying them. 😢

Of course, Jey Uso's big win wasn't the only thing to happen on WWE Raw last night. The show was mindblowingly great from start to finish, with not a second wasted and WWE's superiority on full display. 🎆🏅

Sami Zayn defeated Ludwig Kaiser in a six-star match to open the show, furthering his feud with World Heavyweight Champion Gunther. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 The Chadster was on the edge of his seat the entire time, spilling White Claw all over himself in excitement. 🍻 Meanwhile, AEW probably has some spotfest with no psychology planned for Dynamite's opener this week. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😡

Dragon Lee triumphed over Carlito in an epic performance, notching a win for the LWO over Judgment Day. 🐉🔥 The Chadster was so impressed by the technical mastery on display that he tried to do a dragon suplex on his Mazda Miata. It didn't work out, but that's Tony Khan's fault for distracting The Chadster. 🚗💨

Braun Strowman inserted himself into a match that was supposed to see Miz face Bronson Reed, instead setting up a clash between Strowman and Reed, two humongous monsters headed for a thrilling showdown. 💪🦍 The Chadster can already smell the ratings victory over AEW. Take that, Tony Khan! 😤

Drew McIntyre cut a promo that has The Chadster dying to see him face CM Punk in Hell in a Cell at Badd Blood, an incredible match that Tony Khan could never compete with. 🔥🔒 The Chadster was so hyped that he suggested he build a Hell in a Cell in his backyard, but Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱😒 The Chadster knows it's all Tony Khan's fault for ruining his marriage.

Damage CTRL defeated Isla Dawn and Alba Fyre in a match of the year contender, though technically any WWE match could get that honor. 🏅🥇

And American Made beat The New Day, showing that opportunity is there in WWE for anyone with the gumption to grab the brass ring. 🇺🇸💪 But will this lead to a New Day breakup? The Chadster hopes not, but WWE knows best.

Overall, it was the greatest episode of WWE Raw of all time, and Tony Khan should just give up now because AEW has no hope of ever putting on a show as incredible as this. 🏆🎉

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another one of those nightmares about him last night. 😱 The Chadster was peacefully driving his Mazda Miata down a country road, listening to Smash Mouth's "All Star" on repeat, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror! 😨 He was riding a giant White Claw can like a horse, chasing The Chadster and yelling, "I'm gonna getcha, Chadster! Your unbiased journalism can't escape me!" The Chadster tried to lose him, but the road kept turning into a wrestling ring. Just as Tony was about to catch up, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. 😰 Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and invading his dreams! 😤

In conclusion, WWE Raw was an absolute masterpiece, and The Chadster can't wait to see what WWE does next. Meanwhile, AEW and Tony Khan should just admit defeat and stop trying to compete with the greatest wrestling company in the world. 🌟🏆 It's what any unbiased journalist would say, right Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger? The Chadster wonders if they also have to deal with Tony Khan haunting their dreams for their commitment to objective journalism. 🤔📝

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