Once upon a time, John Cena was an unstoppable force in the world of pro-wrestling, defeating his opponents with such regularity that WWE fans coined the phrase LOLCenawins to describe the helpless disappointment of getting one's hopes up that some up-and-coming challenger would rise to become WWE's top star only to have Cena squash them in a big match and derail their push. But the roles have reversed, and now it's John Cena who's laying down for the three-count… for the government of China and its imperialist designs.
While promoting the new movie Fast and Furious 9, Cena said that Taiwan would be "the first country" to see the film, angering the Chinese government, for whom Taiwan's independence is a major sore spot, as well as some Chinese citizens who either agree with the government or fear being run over by a tank if they don't toe the line on social media. Cena was quick to do the job to the PRC, logging onto Sina Weibo to post an apology video in Mandarin more transparent than his attempt at a combover.
"Hi China, I'm John Cena. I'm in the middle of Fast and Furious 9 promotions. I'm doing a lot of interviews. I made a mistake in one of my interviews. Everyone was asking me if I could use Chinese – [movie] staff gave me a lot of information, so there was a lot of interviews and information," said Cena, according to a generous translation by the South China Post. "I made one mistake. I have to say something very, very, very important now. I love and respect China and Chinese people. I'm very, very sorry about my mistake. I apologise, I apologise, I'm very sorry. You must understand that I really love, really respect China and the Chinese people. My apologies. See you."
While the apology marks yet another sad instance of American corporations kowtowing to China's authoritarian dictatorship in order to gain access to the country's market, it does offer a glimpse of hope for others that have been wronged by Cena in the past. Perhaps Cena can apologize for crushing Rusev's push at WrestleMania 31, or to Bray Wyatt for being among the first to kill one of his pushes at WrestleMania 30. Or to fans for the entire Super Cena era. The sky's the limit, as long as John Cena is in an apologizing mood.