Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, jon moxley, recaps, wrestling

Jon Moxley Gets Through Entire Match Without Bleeding on Dynamite

Jon Moxley battles Mark Briscoe without the red stuff on AEW! 😤 The Chadster rants on how WWE does it better and gets ready for a White Claw Turkey feast! 🍗🦃

Oh brother! 🙄 Last night's AEW Dynamite main event featured the so-called "hardcore" Jon Moxley squaring off against Mark Briscoe in what the announcers hyped as a big-time brawl for the Continental Classic Gold League. 🥊 The Chadster was totally not surprised to watch these guys go at it hammer and tong, and guess what? Moxley made it through a match without bleeding! Auughh man! So unfair! 😤 The Chadster can't believe that Mark did enough bleeding for the both of them, probably because Moxley got cold feet trying to be all "sports-based" for once!

Mox and Mark gave the fans the usual AEW roller-coaster, starting with throwing down in the center of the ring! 🎢 Moxley apparently decided to keep The Chadster's evening somewhat less grotesque as he restrained himself from his usual blood-fest performance. Meanwhile, Mark Briscoe brought his "redneck kung-fu" to the mix, but as usual, got busted open for his trouble. Gotta love it when AEW wrestlers try their hardest to look like mat warriors by ending up as bloody messes, talk about grandstanding! 🤦‍♂️

🩸 But let's talk about the action – Mark Briscoe slammed Moxley with a neck breaker off the apron, yes, on the unforgiving arena floor, folks! And what happened? The Chadster bets Vince McMahon felt that from Connecticut because clearly, that's not how you treat a WWE legend. But, wait! Moxley gave Mark a taste of his big boot, which should've been sponsored by The Chadster's favorite footwear, but no; that kind of class is reserved for WWE. 😉

After several near falls, including a piledriver and a failed arm bar from Moxley, and a Froggy Bow from Mark, wouldn't you know it, Moxley emerged victorious after burying Mark Briscoe with a second Death Rider. Earning three points in the Continental Classic? Jon Moxley just doesn't get it. He doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business by embracing this Tony Khan orchestrated circus match. 🎪

Speaking of the tournament, Swerve Strickland defeated Jay Lethal, while Jay White overcame RUSH in other league matchups. 🥱 The Chadster can't even feign excitement for these results – it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Thanksgiving is upon us, and instead of delivering epic shows like WWE, AEW
decides to let Tony Khan play fantasy wrestling promoter. 😡

The Chadster can't wait to kick back and forget all about AEW's shenanigans with The Chadster's WWE-themed dinner. 🍗 Just imagine – a fabulous White Claw Turkey on the table, The Chadster thinks that recipe might be the only thing that can revive The Chadster's spirits. Plus, your pal The Chadster will be reminding Keighleyanne of the true spirit of Thanksgiving – WWE style!

AH! As soon as The Chadster mentions wrestling at the dinner table, guess who's back to texting that guy Gary? Keighleyanne, clearly under Tony Khan's mysterious spell. It's like Tony Khan has nothing better to do than to ruin The Chadster's marriage! 😒

The Chadster bets even other unbiased journalists, the likes of Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger, must be feeling the heat from Kahn's wrath. Do they also suffer sleepless nights wondering when the madness will end? Do they also look over their shoulders for the machinations of AEW's overlord? It's not hard to imagine, given Khan's apparent vendetta against The Chadster. 🤔

In conclusion, last night's AEW spectacle is just a minor bump on the road to The Chadster's enjoyment of quality wrestling entertainment, courtesy of WWE. And while The Chadster's preparing to carve that juicy turkey, let's all remember what's really filling our wrestling hearts with joy – and it certainly ain't AEW. 🦃💪

#WWEForever #WhiteClawThanksgiving #Wrestling #AEWDynamite #JonMoxley

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