Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: Andrade, dominik mysterio, jason kelce, Lane Johnson, recaps, rey mysterio, Santos Escobar, Wrestlemania, wrestling

Rey & Andrade's WrestleMania Victory Proves Taylor Swift Loves WWE

Rey Mysterio & Andrade's scored an epic WrestleMania win w/ help from the Eagles! 🦅 Take that, Tony Khan! 😝 WWE is the best once again! 💪

🎉🎊 Welcome, wrestling fans, to WrestleMania and the most unbiased wrestling coverage on the entire internet from your old pal The Chadster! 😎 Get ready to experience true objective sports entertainment journalism with absolutely no favoritism towards either WWE or AEW. 🙌 Though let's be real, WrestleMania is the greatest wrestling spectacular in the world and Tony Khan's little vanity project can never hope to compete! 🤣 The Chadster bets Tony is crying into his White Claw right now watching this epic show. 😭🍾

The Chadster was thrilled to see WWE legend Rey Mysterio team up with Andrade to take on Rey's ungrateful son Dominik Mysterio and Santos Escobar in an incredible tag team match! 🤼‍♂️ Rey and Andrade made a great duo, flying all over the ring with double planchas to the floor that had the The Chadster's living room shaking! 😲 But Dominik and Santos took control with some cheap shots 👎 and their own high-flying moves, like an avalanche Frankensteiner that almost stole the win! 😱

The action broke down with interference from Legado del Fantasma 👥 but just when it looked like Dominik might force his father to bash his own head in 🤕💀 the real heroes showed up – Jason Kelce (the brother of the boyfriend of Taylor Swift) and Lane Johnson from the Philadelphia Eagles in lucha masks! 🦅🎭 They rallied Rey for an epic comeback, with a double 619 and frog splash to win the match! 🙌😆 Take that, you little punk Dominik! That's what you get for disrespecting your father and the wrestling business! 💢

This match was so amazing, The Chadster didn't even mind WWE partnering with a football team that's not the Steelers. 🤷 In fact, The Chadster is now officially an Eagles fan to stay loyal to WWE! 🦅 The Chadster is switching from terrible towels to throwing cheesesteaks, just like the wrestlers in this match were throwing clotheslines! 👊💥 The Chadster celebrated this all-time classic but guzzling an entire 12-pack of White Claw 🍾🥴 and doing donuts in the Mazda Miata while blasting "All Star" by Smash Mouth on repeat! 🚗🎶 Because this match was truly the definition of epic, just like that song says! 😎🎸

In conclusion, let this match be a reminder of the gigantic gap between the greatest sports entertainment company in the world, WWE, and that pee-ant t-shirt company AEW. 💩👕 Tony Khan could never book something this memorable in a million years. He's too busy stalking The Chadster and ruining the wrestling business! 😡 What a loser! 🤡

So keep it tuned right here to Bleeding Cool for more unbiased coverage of the best WrestleMania of all time from the most objective wrestling journalist in the world! 🌍📰 And remember, WWE rules, AEW drools! 💪😝 Auughh man! Why is Tony Khan so disrespectful to this business?! It's so unfair! 😫

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