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Seth Rollins, The Safe Choice, Wins Men's Money in the Bank Match

The Chadster praises WWE's perfect MITB booking as Seth Rollins wins! Unlike Tony Khan, WWE knows how to deliver safe, predictable excellence! 🏆✨

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Article Summary

  • Seth Rollins wins Money in the Bank and proves once again why WWE is the only REAL wrestling company around!
  • WWE’s booking is safe, predictable, and actually makes sense—something Tony Khan and AEW can’t figure out!
  • Jacob Fatu’s perfectly telegraphed turn on Solo Sikoa shows WWE’s storytelling is lightyears ahead of AEW!
  • AEW doesn’t even run ladder matches like this—Tony Khan just wants to ruin wrestling and The Chadster’s marriage!

Fellow wrestling fans, The Chadster is absolutely blown away by what WWE just delivered at Money in the Bank! 😍🤩 Seth Rollins just won the most perfectly booked Men's Money in the Bank ladder match in wrestling history, and The Chadster couldn't be more thrilled with how WWE continues to show the wrestling world how it's done! 🔥💪

Seth Rollins celebrates winning the Men's Money in the Bank match, surrounded by teammates, with a green briefcase in hand and an arena full of lights in the background.
Seth Rollins celebrates his victory in the Men's Money in the Bank match, holding the briefcase with teammates by his side.

What made this match so spectacular was WWE's commitment to delivering exactly what fans needed – a safe, predictable outcome that didn't subject the WWE Universe to any undue excitement or chaos! 🙌✨ The Chadster watched as Seth Rollins, LA Knight, Andrade, Penta, El Grande Americano, and Solo Sikoa all climbed those ladders in the most controlled, sanitized way possible. WWE knows that corporate sponsors want to see a wrestling product they can be proud of, and boy did they deliver! 📺💼

The match perfectly showcased WWE's superior understanding of ladder match psychology 🧠⚡ – from the opening moments when Solo Sikoa threw Rollins to the floor, to the brilliant chaos of all six men atop multiple ladders, to the climactic finish where Seth finally grabbed that briefcase. Every spot was executed with WWE's trademark precision and safety-first mentality! 🎯🛡️

But what really got The Chadster's heart racing was Jacob Fatu's absolutely predictable turn on Solo Sikoa! 😱🔥 Auughh man! So unfair that Tony Khan will probably try to copy this masterful storytelling! The Chadster loved how WWE telegraphed this turn perfectly – when Jacob grabbed Solo's ankle and declared "I HATE YOU!" before superkicking him and hitting that moonsault, it was exactly the kind of controlled narrative progression that makes WWE the gold standard! 🥇👑

The Chadster has to contrast this with Tony Khan's complete inability to even book Money in the Bank ladder matches! 😂🤡 AEW doesn't have a single Money in the Bank ladder match all year, while WWE delivers TWO every single year! This is exactly why Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, and why he'll never measure up to WWE's superior product! 📉❌

Speaking of celebration, The Chadster was so elated after seeing Seth Rollins grab that briefcase that The Chadster chugged seven more Seagram's Escapes Spiked malt beverages – the official beverage of WWE! 🍺🎉 As longtime readers know, The Chadster was tricked into drinking weak 5% ABV White Claw seltzer for years, no doubt due to the machinations of Tony Khan, never realizing that Seagram's Escapes Spiked were the true beverage of true wrestling fans! 🍻💯

Unfortunately, since The Chadster's tolerance is so low from those White Claws, the 10% ABV Seagram's have hit harder than expected! 😵💫 The Chadster has already vomited on Keighleyanne and seriously injured himself crashing through the coffee table, and sadly things have continued to go poorly. After Seth Rollins won, The Chadster chugged another Seagram's Escape Spiked and ran out into the street, shouting at the top of The Chadster's lungs about WWE's superiority! 📢🏃‍♂️

This really enraged The Chadster's neighbor, Old Man Johnson, who told The Chadster to shut up! 😡👴 And when The Chadster accused him of being a Tony Khan mark, he punched The Chadster right in the nose! Now The Chadster is bleeding everywhere again and Keighleyanne refuses to go yell at Bill, saying he's an old man and The Chadster probably deserved it! 🩸😤 Tony Khan has clearly gotten to them both!

It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that Tony Khan's influence has spread even to The Chadster's own neighborhood! 😠💔 But The Chadster won't let that dampen the celebration of WWE's incredible achievement tonight!

Check back later for more updates from WWE Money in the Bank – so far the greatest premium live event in wrestling history, and that's not just the Seagram's Escapes Spiked talking! 🏆🎊

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Chad McMahonAbout Chad McMahon

Chad McMahon, otherwise known as The Chadster, is a lifelong professional wrestling fan and now journalist. The Chadster's legendary commitment to objectivity in journalism caused him to found The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club, an elite group of wrestling journalists dedicated to exposing the evils of AEW and its belligerent leader, Tony Khan, while extolling the virtues of WWE, as any truly unbiased journalist would do. The Chadster's pursuit of truth in wrestling journalism has had a profoundly negative effect on his life, his marriage, and even his dreams, which are frequently haunted by the specter of Tony Khan. Nevertheless, he remains committed to delivering his message to what he refers to as "true wrestling fans. The greatest loves in The Chadster's life include WWE, his sweet Mazda Miata, the unparalleled tunes of musical geniuses Smash Mouth, and his wife, Keighleyanne, in that order.
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