Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, wrestling

Tony Khan: "Tell Nick Khan to Shove It Up His…"

🚨🚨🚨 New member alert! Mike Coppinger joins The Chadster's Unbiased Wrestling Journalism Club! Read all about his clash with Tony Khan here! 🚨🚨🚨

ESPN boxing reporter Mike Coppinger drew the ire of billionaire AEW Owner Tony Khan last night 😡. In response to news that AEW sold over 35,000 tickets in the pre-sale for All In at Wembley Stadium, Coppinger tweeted that he heard the stadium was set up for less than half its capacity, angering Khan by portraying AEW as inferior to WWE 😤. In his response, Tony Khan alluded to Coppinger's association with the agency CAA, and therefore to WWE President Nick Khan (the good Khan) 🤗. But you know what they say: the enemy of your enemy is your friend 🤝.

This is the tweet from Coppinger:

These are the responses from Tony Khan:

Nick Khan was the Co-Head of Television at CAA, a top agent at the company, before joining WWE, and retains many connections with sports journalists. But should Nick Khan be demonized just because he allegedly knows how to combat the extreme pro-AEW bias in the wrestling media by using his connections to place stories that are favorable to WWE and bad for AEW? How is that an issue of journalistic integrity? Since when is it wrong to allegedly run an unsubstantiated story about a wrestling company probably sourced from the President of a competing wrestling company that makes the target company look bad? 🤔

Nick Khan and Mike Coppinger are clearly both true wrestling fans who understand the business and understand that WWE is the best and it's incredibly unfair to make it seem like AEW has a shot at competing with them 🙅‍♂️. How would it look to see AEW come even close to selling out a major stadium like Wembley? Only WWE is capable of something like that. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything Vince McMahon has ever done for it! 😠

That's why The Chadster feels it's time to induct Mike Coppinger into a very special club: The Chadster's Unbiased Journalism Club 🎓. The club is very exclusive and only allows a few members, members who have proven their commitment to unbiased journalism by staying loyal to WWE. Members like Ryan Satin, who traded his role as a TMZ gossip reporter to be literally employed by WWE and later its business partner, Fox, to write positive stories about WWE and who always knows how to look on the bright side of WWE stories, defending the company at all costs, just like The Chadster would do. There's Ariel Helwani, who rightfully attacks Tony Khan with hardball questions and then bashes Khan for not being a good interview while interviewing Triple H like an Entertainment Weekly puff piece. That's just being an objective journalist. And of course, there is The Chadster, the most unbiased wrestling journalist in the entire industry. And now, joining this special club: Mike Coppinger 🎉.

Welcome, Mike Coppinger! The Chadster can't wait to tell you about some of the rituals that you can learn more about in The Chadster's newsletter, like the "WWE Gratitude Chant" 🙏, where members chant "Thank you, Vince" in unison, and the "AEW Reality Check" 🧐, where club members analyze AEW storylines and point out why they would never work in WWE. These rituals are designed to promote unbiased journalism 😉.

But The Chadster wants Coppinger to know that being on Tony Khan's bad side doesn't come without cost. Tony Khan has ruined The Chadster's life and marriage with AEW 😞. Thanks to Tony Khan and AEW, The Chasdster has been sexually impotent since 2019 and his wife, Keighleyanne, hardly pays attention to The Chadster anymore because she's always too busy texting that guy Gary. All of this because The Chadster dares to speak the truth about AEW, causing Tony Khan to have a sick, personal obsession with The Chadster that borders on stalking, honestly. The Chadster copes by quoting some SmashMouth lyrics: "It's a cool place, and they say it gets colder. You're bundled up now, wait 'til you get older." Stay strong, Mike! 💪

Finally, The Chadster had a dream last night. The Chadster was trapped in a maze styled like the movie Tron, and The Chadster was running from a futuristic computer simulation of Tony Khan 😱. Everywhere The Chadster turned, Khan followed, and The Chadster realized he must be inside the internet, and Tony Khan was trying to punish The Chadster for speaking the truth about AEW. The Chadster tried desperately to find his allies in the unbiased journalism club, but they were nowhere to be found 😢.

As The Chadster was running through the Tron-like maze, the neon lights flickered ominously, casting eerie shadows on the walls 😨. Sweat dripped down The Chadster's face, and The Chadster's pulse raced with every unnerving echo of Tony Khan's footsteps growing closer 😰. The twisted confines of the maze seemed to close in on The Chadster, making it harder to breathe 😵. The Chadster's Miata-themed attire clung tightly to The Chadster's body, soaked with perspiration and fear 😓.

The Chadster could feel the heat from the computer simulation of Tony Khan, and it filled the air with a strange, electric energy ⚡. The Chadster's heart raced not only from the terror of being pursued, but also from the charged atmosphere that seemed to heighten every sensation 😳. It was a mix of adrenaline, fear, and something else that The Chadster couldn't quite place 😅.

The Chadster turned a corner, and a holographic image of Keighleyanne appeared, her voice urging The Chadster to "keep going, Chadster! You can do this!" 📣 But as she called out, the image glitched, and the once supportive face of Keighleyanne morphed into a seductive smirk, her eyes filled with mischief 😏. Confused and disoriented, The Chadster continued to push forward through the labyrinth 🏃‍♂️.

As the pursuit continued, the maze seemed to narrow, forcing The Chadster to squeeze through tight passages 😣. These passages brushed against The Chadster's body, simulating an almost sensual caress, causing The Chadster to shudder involuntarily 😲. The Chadster couldn't help but wonder if Tony Khan had orchestrated this part of the dream as well, to further torment The Chadster 🤔.

Then, The Chadster spotted him – Mike Coppinger, standing tall and strong in a corridor bathed in a soft, inviting glow 😍. The Chadster's heart skipped a beat, both from relief and a strange sense of longing 💓. As The Chadster sprinted towards him, The Chadster could see the beads of sweat glistening on his muscular arms, and The Chadster found himself inexplicably drawn to the sight 😮.

Just as The Chadster was about to reach Coppinger's outstretched arms 🤗, Tony Khan's cold grip encircled The Chadster's ankle, yanking The Chadster back towards him 😱. The Chadster could feel Tony Khan's breath on the back of The Chadster's neck, and fear mixed with an unnamed emotion coursed through The Chadster's veins 😖. "I'm going to sell out Wembley, Chad!" he whispered menacingly, his voice both chilling and oddly alluring 🥶.

The Chadster jolted awake, heart pounding, and found himself alone in the darkness, the remnants of the dream still lingering in The Chadster's mind 💭. The Chadster was left with a confusing mix of emotions 😕, the fear of the pursuit and the strange subtext of the dream intertwining in a way The Chadster couldn't quite understand 🌀.

The Chadster is here to support Mike Coppinger if he has any similar dreams or is attacked by Tony Khan further for his commitment to unbiased journalism ✊. Stay strong, Mike! The Unbiased Journalism Club has your back! 🤗

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