Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: Wrestlemania, wrestling, Wrestling Roundtable, wwe

WrestleMania Night 1 Roundtable: Card, Start Time, Predictions, More

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, and it is your honor for me to host your Bleeding Cool WrestleMania Roundtable for Night 1 of the most stupid… sorry, stupendous two-night WrestleMania in history. WrestleMania takes place in Texas this year at AT&T Stadium on Saturday, April 2nd and Sunday, April 3rd. The show will stream on Peacock in the United States and on the WWE Network elsewhere. The kickoff show each night begins at 7PM Eastern and the main card kicks off at 8PM, so you have until then to steel yourselves.

To celebrate the biggest wrestling event of the year, your El Presidente ordered the writers of Bleeding Cool to supply me with their thoughts on each of the matches on the show. And now, comrades, I am ordering all of you to read those thoughts… or suffer the consequences!

Bleeding Cool Presents El Presidente's Stupendously Stupid WWE WrestleMania Night 1 Roundtable

You've seen the Supercard of Honor! You've traversed the Multiverse of Matches! Now the fun is over! Here are all the matches scheduled for WrestleMania Night 1!

SmackDown Women's Championship Match – Charlotte Flair (c) vs. Ronda Rousey

Chad McMahon: First of all, The Chadster would like to say to Ronda Rousey: don't listen to all those ungrateful fans booing you. The Chadster appreciates that you are lending your talents to WWE and not going to AEW like other female MMA stars who The Chadster will not mention, mostly so that The Chadster doesn't break down into tears during this roundtable. You should never listen to what the fans say. They're just so disrespectful to WWE and everything Vince McMahon has done for it. That's why The Chadster preferred wrestling in the early days of the pandemic, when wrestlers performed in front of a quiety, empty arena. Even the Thunderdome was too much. So with all of that in mind, The Chadster feels that Ronda deserves to win this one to make up for how poorly the WWE Universe has treated her.

Ryan Fassett: The build to this has been pretty dreadful, as WWE continues to make the same mistakes they did years ago with Rousey and trying to force fans to like her when that just doesn't come naturally. Of course she's going to win here, but that won't make any of it taste better for fans going forward.

Jude Terror: The fans have rejected Ronda Rousey as a babyface, but when has WWE ever cared what the fans think? To Vince McMahon, having Ronda Rousey in WWE is a remedy to the inferiority complex he has always felt about being involved with a "fake" sport like wrestling. It's staggering to think about the amount of resources that WWE pours into trying to be taken seriously by the sports and entertainment world, and sad to think about how much more successful they'd be at those exact goals if they just focused on producing entertaining wrestling shows instead. Rousey wins, the fans boo, eventually, Rousey quits again, put the belt back on Charlotte, repeat.

Gavin Sheehan: This is the lesser of the two women's title matches, in my opinion, because we all know where it's going. WWE didn't sign Rousey to a year-long contract just to have her look at the lighting rig for Flair. I'm guessing five minutes of MMA stuff, followed by some Woooooo-ing, a moonsault that isn't a moonsault because Flair lands on her feet all the time, and the worst-looking armbar for the title change.

Jeremy Konrad: I will take Rousey here, only because Charlotte has to win it back to keep getting closer to her father's record. The real shocker will be if this goes more than 10 minutes.

Tom Chang: Rousey needs this win a lot more than Flair, but as a consummate pro, Flair will do what she can to carry the match by slowing it down to neutralize Rousey's more brawling MMA style. If WWE knows what's good for them, which they typically don't, they'll let Rousey work on selling more. A fluky squash is a real possibility and potential credibility killer for both moreso for Rousey.

Raw Women's Championship Match – Becky Lynch (c) vs. Bianca Belair

Chad McMahon: The Chadster doesn't know why everyone complained so much about Belair's loss at SummerSlam last year. That was a WWE moment to remember, and there's nothing The Chadster loves more than a moment. Hopefully, Becky Lynch and Bianca Belair will provide another moment here at WrestleMania, and that one will be even better because WrestleMania is more important than SummerSlam. Belair will probably win this one, which is too bad. They just make two Raw Women's Championships so both women can hold one.

Ryan Fassett: Bianca will win, but after she cut Lynch's hair this past Monday, I'm at least a little interested to see if they're moving Lynch into a more psychotic role going forward.

Jude Terror: They sacrificed Bianca Belair, then a hot babyface, to Becky Lynch's post-childbirth return all the way back at SummerSlam last year. Now it's time to return the favor. The question is, will Belair be more over after beating Becky than she was when Becky beat her? If so, it will prove that, once in a while, WWE can actually do something right… wait a minute, what am I saying?! I guess Lynch is winning here after all.

Gavin Sheehan: The better of the women's title matches, this one actually has some kind of story worth watching. But it still doesn't change the fact that we got here based off a cheap pop at SummerSlam followed by a 10-second match. Lynch has nothing to prove here, so Belair is getting it. But Beliar has nothing to prove here either since she's already been to this dance before with Sasha Banks, AND WON. So good on Bianca, but man, what a waste of eight months to get here.

Jeremy Konrad: A rock and a hard place is where WWE finds themselves, and all because they tried to have a "moment" at SummerSlam last year. Becky is their biggest female star, and one could argue doesn't need the title, but Belair does, so she wins. Will be interesting where Big Time Becks and her new do go from here.

Tom Chang: As much as there's no Monday Morning Quarterbacking the booking, selling this match would been so much better if the champ Becky Lynch was able to stipulate if Bianca used her hair, she would be disqualified and *gasp* forcing her not to use it or be sneaky about it to earn the victory. By having her tie her hair up in a restrictive manner, it would actually add drama as Becky works Bianca over before the underdog can come away victorious. It's a pick-em for me since it would make sense to keep Big Time Becks a winner to maintain as dominant heel champion. I can see a controversial finish to further milk the feud over to the next PPV in Backlash.

"The KO Show"- "Stone Cold" Steve Austin to confront Kevin Owens

Chad McMahon: The Chadster doesn't agree with everything Steve Austin stands for. For example, The Chadster would never chug beers the way that Austin does. The Chadster prefers to chug White Claw Seltzer, and he likes to chug it not in celebration but in misery after watching a particularly enraging episode of AEW Dynamite. Even so, The Chadster recognizes that Steve Austin is important to WWE so The Chadster is glad to see him pay back Vince McMahon for everything Vince McMahon has done for him and the wrestling business in general by lacing the boots back up to tussle with Kevin Owens, unlike some legends, like CM Punk, who literally stab Vince McMahon in the back by returning to AEW instead of WWE. Auughh man! So unfair! Austin will "win" this fight.

Ryan Fassett: Our Night One main event and while it's not exactly a match, if you figure that WWE brought Austin in to sell most of the tickets to the show as the rest of the card was a dud, then the guy who everyone is paying to see should be in the main event spot I guess. I'm sure we'll get a prolonged brawl here of some kind, but there is a little bit of mystery of how we'll get there and what it'll look like, so I guess that's intriguing. Plus seeing Austin kick ass and chug beers is never not fun, so it'll at least end Night One on a happy note.

Jude Terror: Like middle-aged losers who peaked in high school, WWE is constantly reminiscing about the glory days of the Attitude Era, and to a large degree, so are many of WWE's fans. It's not hard to see why: the storylines were more entertaining, the characters were more engaging and larger than life, and most importantly, wrestling was considered "cool" by the mainstream. The WWE of today is a far cry from what it was 20 years ago, and while some things have improved, mostly surrounding the well being of talent, for the most part, the differences are not for the better. I'm not saying that WWE ought to be telling the same stories as they did back in the 90s, as culture has changed since then. But in terms of creativity, unpredictability, and sheer bombast, the soulless corporate monstrosity that is WWE today is barely even a shell of its former self. We'll all enjoy seeing Stone Cold kick Kevin Owens' ass at WrestleMania, but when it's over, Austin will ride back off into the sunset and we'll be left watching modern day WWE Raw again, so in the long run, it's just going to further expose how much worse WWE has become since Austin's heyday.

Gavin Sheehan: Austin shows up, he says all 12 of his catch phrases, Stone Cold Stunner, drinks, offers Owens a beer, he sips, Stunner in which Owens spits out the beer, rinse and repeat. Good on Austin for getting what I hope was a hefty check.

Jeremy Konrad: I am one of the weird wrestling fans who doesn't like Stone Cold, so I think it would be great if they had KO go over on him here. The rub would be huge, and could propel him to a good program throughout the year. But I also know they won't do that. One can dream.

Tom Chang: When you get Stone Cold Steve Austin in 2022, you get the PG-version that's bird-free. I can see it going one of two ways. The first one is a short squash, which shows Austin going over quick in a non-match that shows him pops the crowd. If there's anything lingering from those neck issues, I can expect it to be clean if he's severely physically limited. Second would be a straight hardcore brawl light on wrestling that sees proportionate amount of offense like KO landing a devastating blow and works over Austin until he makes his eventual comeback, stunner and victory. Thankfully since Austin hasn't suffered the medical issues Bret Hart has, it won't have to be as ugly as Hart's farewell match against Vince McMahon at WrestleMania 26. Either way Austin goes over and says at least a proper goodbye to the fans not like the ones we saw in Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair's final WrestleMania matches.

Seth Rollins vs. A Mystery Opponent of Vince McMahon's Choosing

Chad McMahon: This is a tough one for The Chadster. On the one hand, Cody Rhodes left AEW to go to WWE, and The Chadster appreciates that. But Cody Rhodes literally stabbed Vince McMahon in the back first when he left WWE and started AEW in the first place. It's hard for The Chadster to forgive that. But Seth Rollins has not only never stabbed WWE in the back, but he even defends WWE's honor on Twitter all the time. So Seth deserves to win, but Cody probably will, which is a shame, because that will just encourage more people to stab WWE in the back and later come back in hopes of getting a big WrestleMania moment.

Ryan Fassett: I could see Vince bringing Shane out as Rollins' opponent and then Cody takes him out somehow. I'd normally be excited to see a Cody Rhodes vs Seth Rollins match and I think if they're left to just do their thing, they'd do something awesome. But I also feel like there's too much crap surrounding this and we're going to get something weird and short.

Jude Terror: I've been thinking about Shane McMahon too, with rumors on the dirt sheets he'll be in town for WrestleMania weekend. But what if Shane comes out to attack Cody and cost him his debut match against Rollins? Then it leads into a months-long feud between Shane and Cody over how many royal families there are in wrestling. Think about it! It has the perfect appeal to the egos of Cody, Shane, and Vince. Of course, the biggest problem for Cody is… he'll have to lose that feud.

Gavin Sheehan: This company does everything for a pop these days, not a story or a comeback or anything that makes sense. Just that big reaction they can play over and over again for whatever video packages they need to convince Snickers to sponsor another PPV. (And to have pre-recorded canned reactions to play over the loudspeakers for when the real audience doesn't agree with what WWE wants them to do.) This is one of those moments. Instead of building to anything that makes any kind of reasonable sense, Rollins has been languishing, waiting for multiple things that may or may not happen. I am absolutely convinced Shane will be his opponent, and Cody will show up on Raw the next night. If Cody shows up, he wins in 2 minutes. If Shane, Rollins in five minutes.

Jeremy Konrad: I'll say Cody shows up Monday as well. I think there will be another surprise for Seth, something we aren't seeing. Cause if it is Cody, what a waste to "save" him for the "surprise" that could not be further from one. Either way, Seth is not winning, no matter who it is. Well, maybe he wins if it's Swoggle.

Tom Chang: There are no other possible names to mind short of some secret last-minute signing or Shane McMahon as a middle finger to Cody marks. Regardless if it's Shane, Cody or someone else, they're not booking Seth Freaking Rollins with a nobody without name value. I hope we get a real match out of this, but there's a 90 percent chance for me it's a squash to re-establish as Hans Gruber would say, "Mr. Mystery Guest."

Rey & Dominik Mysterio vs. The Miz & Logan Paul

Chad McMahon: There's nothing The Chadster loves more than celebrities wrestling in WWE. It really helps legitimize WWE as a pop culture entertainment juggernaut and not just another blood and guts wrestling company like some companies owned by Tony Khan that The Chadster will not mention here. There's a lot to be admired about Logan Paul, who The Chadster considers a personal role model, so The Chadster hopes he and The Miz walk away the winners at WrestleMania because that means more celebrities might wrestle in WWE in the future. Yay!

Ryan Fassett: I'm really excited to have a match where I know I can go to the bathroom and refill my beer. I thank WWE for being so considerate of such needs in a five-hour show and scheduling something like this.

Jude Terror: Logan Paul's celebrity status is just the latest evidence that the rise of social media was the worst thing to ever happen to human civilization. No matter who wins here, we all lose. But I'll go with the Mysterios.

Gavin Sheehan: This is the match I'm going to go take a piss at and make a sandwich. So, let's say… (flips coin) Miz/Paul win, which will lead to some kind of fallout when one takes credit for the win. Or maybe this is the one where Dominik will finally punch his dad and take up the mantle of Rey Mysterio III. I dunno, I'm about as invested in this match as Logan Paul is into his brother.

Jeremy Konrad: The only thing that would be interesting here is a Dominik heel turn.

Tom Chang: It will be a spotfest for sure from the Mysterio's. Miz and Logan will get their opportunistic moments. Generally the celebrity side typically wins. I don't expect Logan to impress like Bad Bunny, but he'll show off a few moves.

Drew McIntyre vs. Happy Corbin

Chad McMahon: The Chadster loves Drew McIntyre. He was WWE Champion during one of The Chadster's favorite eras of WWE: the era when there were no fans in the building. But Happy Corbin is The Chadster's favorite wrestler of all time, and The Chadster is sure this is going to be the year of Corbin. Therefore, Corbin gets the big win here and joins the main event scene for 2022.

Ryan Fassett: Poor Drew. He's probably SmackDown's best overall babyface right now and busts his ass year-round for the company, yet here he is on the WrestleMania card. He'll almost definitely win here, though I can see WWE wanting to keep the awfulness of Corbin & Moss going longer, so who knows?

Jude Terror: So the down on his luck guy who caught a lucky break and now tries to enjoy life to the fullest is facing the dour Scotsman who uses a sword against his opponents in a wrestling match? And Drew McIntyre is supposed to be the babyface here?! McIntyre does need to win here to build him up for a loss to Reigns later this year, maybe at SummerSlam.

Gavin Sheehan: From main eventing WrestleMania to fighting Corbin in a hat. That's how valuable McIntyre is to the company right now. He's gonna win, because Corbin winning would suggest they actually have a plan for him. And if you think there's a plan for Corbin after watching Smackdown the past three years, go get your eyes checked.

Jeremy Konrad: I must confess, I have no clue what this Happy Corbin angle is, nor do I care. Drew wins, easy night for him. This is what happens when you give your all for years and carry the ball through the pandemic I guess.

Tom Chang: Corbin will get his moments and catch McIntyre by surprise in a few spots, but Happy won't survive his onslaught. Drew can't really afford to lose any more momentum. I won't put it past WWE to fumble on this and give us the shock ending putting Corbin over.

SmackDown Tag Team Championship Match- The Usos (c) vs. Shinsuke Nakamura & Rick Boogs

Chad McMahon: The Chadster doesn't really like a lot of music. Sure, The Chadster will chill out in the garage drinking White Claw Seltzer and listening to Smashmouth on the radio in his Mazda Miata once in a while, but that's really just because it's the only CD The Chadster owns. Still, The Chadster really appreciates the musical stylings of Rick Boogs, so that's who The Chadster is rooting for to win here.

Ryan Fassett: It's nice to see The Usos face some guys not in The New Day for once and I'm sure it'll be a serviceable enough match. I could see either team winning this one.

Jude Terror: I don't really understand why, but WWE seems high on this Boogs guy. But if Nakamura can ride that push to another title win, I'm all for it. Just please, somebody, tune the guy's guitar!

Gavin Sheehan: Nakamura went from being one of the greatest wrestlers on the planet to an impersonation of what he was in 2015, dressed in white. It depresses me to know this guy could be world champ, and here we are, watching him be cannon fodder for the tag division that no one in WWE's management cares about. But at leats it will be slightly fun to watch as every WrestleMania, the Usos have something to prove after being left off for years. Going with The King and the backup guitarist for Hulk Hogan on WWF's Rock N' Wrestling concert.

Jeremy Konrad: I kind of love that Nakamura knows that in the WWE, he isn't being asked to do anything, so he can just go out and have fun. He had his run outside the company, now he just wants to have fun and make money. I wish I could be Boogs. He's going to get a title run and action figures he otherwise wouldn't have gotten now. Good for him.

Tom Chang: Had real high hopes since Shinsuke Nakamura won the Royal Rumble and main event WrestleMania as potential top guy, but he obviously got lost in the midcard shuffle. At least, he was able to save some face as the Intercontinental Champion. The King and Boogs go over here over the Usos, who all involved are just happy to be around.

Well, comrades, that concludes Bleeding Cool Presents El Presidente's Stupendously Stupid WWE WrestleMania Night 1 Roundtable! If you're hungry for more of the incisive with and inciteful commentary of everybody involved except Chad McMahon, please check out Bleeding Cool's TV Wrestling section. Yes, we have one of those!

Until next time… which would be Night 2, comrades, try to pay attention here: socialism or death!

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