Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, wwe

WWE Hires a New Lawyer… And It's Not Smart Mark Sterling

Published Thu, 07 Apr 2022 15:07:10 -0500

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, bringing you the latest wrestling news and hot goss. I had to take a break from my campaign to win a newly open seat on the UN Human Rights Council, comrades, which I think is going great. Nobody knows more about human rights than El Presidente. I violate them all the time! Haw haw haw haw!

The official logo of the WWE.

That may be something that I have in common with WWE… is probably not something I should be saying in this article, comrades, because this is about WWE hiring a new lawyer. Specifically, they have hired Elisebeth Collins to take over as General Counsel & Corporate Secretary from the departing Samira Shah, reporting directly to the head honcho himself, Vince McMahon. Here is Collins' background from the press release:

Collins joins WWE from Caterpillar Inc, the publicly traded manufacturer, where she served as a Deputy General Counsel. At Caterpillar, she led a global team of legal professionals providing commercial, regional, employment, governance and other legal support, following time as the company's Chief Compliance Officer.

As General Counsel and Corporate Secretary, Collins will oversee WWE's legal affairs and serve as principal legal adviser for the company. Her oversight will include litigation, intellectual property, corporate governance, government relations, risk management, talent contracts and compliance.

Earlier work in Collins' career includes senior roles with The Boeing Company and serving on the Privacy & Civil Liberties Oversight Board. A recipient of the Edward J. Randolph Award for service to the Department of Justice and named Legal Times' "Top 40 Lawyers Under 40" in Washington D.C., Collins is a graduate of Harvard Law School and the University of Chicago.

Yes, once again, WWE has decided to look outside the world of wrestling for their lawyer rather than hiring a wrestling lawyer from within the business, like they used to do back in the day when they had guys like Irwin R. Schyster running the accounting department. But that's just how WWE operates these days, comrades. They hire models, football players, and lawyers instead of wrestlers.

"I am thrilled to be joining this iconic company at such an exciting time and working with the team to help implement the organization's strategy," said Collins, though of course she is going to say that. When is the last time someone got hired for a high profile job, and then in the press release, they said they thought the job sucked and they weren't excited to do it at all! The same applies to the following comments.

"Elisebeth's experience providing counsel on a wide variety of legal and business matters will help us execute our company's ambitious plans to continue to grow global revenue and drive shareholder value,"said Vince McMahon. "I would like to thank Samira for her time at WWE and wish her well in future pursuits." McMahon did not reveal how long a tenure a new employee must have before they are invited to join a very special club.

Personally, I would like to welcome Elisebeth Collins to her new role, and pass along the following message: please do not sue me. Until next time, comrades: socialism or death!

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