WWE Expands Into Predatory Finance Industry with New Prepaid Cards

In a move that admittedly won't do much to shatter the longstanding advertising industry stereotype that pro wrestling fans don't have any money, WWE has launched a new line of prepaid debit cards. The company partnered with Netspend to release the line of cards, which offer luxurious amenities such as "no credit check" and "no minimum balance." WWE will also expand on its rube-bilking carnie origins by encroaching on the territory of the payday loan industry, allowing customers to set up their cards to receive direct deposits from their job, tax refund, or government benefits two days early.

"Diving headlong predatory finance industry is just the latest evolution of WWE's corporate evolution as a global brand," said an unnamed WWE executive in a boardroom while presenting the idea, probably. "Listen, Pal, this latest shady endeavor will finally catapult WWE's brand into the realm of prestige we were unable to achieve with endeavors such as the World Bodybuilding Federation, WWE Studios, launching the XFL the first time, launching the XFL the second time way more proficiently but doing it right at the beginning of a global pandemic that shuts down all sports, that Katie Vick sketch, or the Steroid Scandal. Finally, members of the WWE Universe will have the opportunity to join a very special club. This is such good ****!"

WWE's new lineup of prepaid debit cards.
WWE's new lineup of prepaid debit cards.

WWE Prepaid Card: Don't Leave Home Without It

The qualification to get one of these cards basically consists of "don't be a terrorist," though based on WWE's close relationship with the government of Saudi Arabia, we assume that rule is flexible. Once approved, you can choose a card featuring AJ Styles, Becky Lynch, The New Day, The Undertaker, and for some reason, Macho Man Randy Savage. A photo of the WWE Championship is also an option. Hopefully, cards featuring the Million Dollar Man, IRS, and the Repo Man are on the way soon. WWE first announced the new offering in a commercial during WrestleMania 36 and followed up with an email to their mailing list Tuesday.

Let's take a look at some of the fees associated with the card. The "Pay-As-You-Go" plan has no monthly fee, but charges $1.50 transaction for every purchase, $2.50 for ATM withdrawals, $3.95 to add more cash to the card, $.50 to check your balance at an ATM, and a $5.95 "inactivity" fee if you don't use the card for 90 days. The "Monthly" plan carries all those same fees except the transaction fee per purchase, replacing it with a flat $9.99 monthly fee, the same price as the WWE Network. Both plans also carry a $5.00 fee for direct deposits of $500 or more. There are several more pages of conditional fees you can scroll through at the Netspend website. Sounds too good to be true? Well, you can sign up here.

 

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About Jude Terror

A prophecy once said that in the comic book industry's darkest days, a hero would come to lead the people through a plague of overpriced floppies, incentive variant covers, #1 issue reboots, and super-mega-crossover events. Sadly, that prophecy was wrong. Oh, Jude Terror was right. For ten years. About everything. But nobody listened. And so, Jude Terror has moved on to a more important mission: turning Bleeding Cool into a pro wrestling dirt sheet!
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