Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Buries AEW: Best Episode Ever, Tony Khan in Shambles

😱 WWE Raw just DESTROYED AEW with the GREATEST episode EVER! 🔥 Tony Khan in SHAMBLES as WWE proves they're the best! 💪 Auughh man! So fair! 😂

OMG, did you guys SEE WWE Raw last night?!? 😲😲😲 It was, without a doubt, the GREATEST episode of professional wrestling The Chadster has EVER SEEN in his entire life! 🔥🔥💯💯 And that's saying something, because The Chadster has seen A LOT of wrestling in his day. 😤😤😤 In fact, The Chadster would even go so far as to say that it might have been the greatest episode of ANY television show EVER! 🤩🤩🤩 Seriously, move over, Breaking Bad and The Wire, because WWE Raw just blew everything else out of the water! 🚀🚀🚀

The Chadster is just beside himself with excitement after watching that masterpiece of sports entertainment! 🥰🥰🥰 Every single match was an instant classic, every single promo was pure gold, and every single superstar brought their A-game! 🙌🙌🙌 It's enough to make The Chadster forget all about Tony Khan and his obsession with ruining The Chadster's life! 🥺🥺🥺 …Almost. 😠😠😠

The night started off with a bang as Liv Morgan came out to gloat about her controversial victory over Rhea Ripley! 😈😈😈 The Chadster has to admit, that Liv Morgan is one crafty minx! 😉😉😉 But she better watch out, because Rhea Ripley is coming for her revenge, and when she does, it's gonna be brutal! 😱😱😱

Then we had an absolute banger of a match between Sheamus and Ludwig Kaiser! 💪💪💪 These two guys beat the living daylights out of each other, and The Chadster was on the edge of his seat the entire time! 🤯🤯🤯 Ludwig Kaiser picking up the win was a HUGE upset, and The Chadster is so impressed with how far he's come! 👏👏👏 It's just a shame that Sheamus had to get hurt. 🤕🤕🤕 The Chadster hopes he's okay. 😔😔😔 But that's what happens when you wrestle a tough, physical style like that. 💥💥💥 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it when AEW puts on matches with no psychology and just a bunch of flips and dives. 🙄🙄🙄

Speaking of disrespectful, Finn Balor was in action against Dragon Lee, and let The Chadster tell you, that Finn Balor is a national treasure! 🏆🏆🏆 He's so talented, so charismatic, and so gosh darn handsome! 😍😍😍 The Chadster is convinced that Finn Balor is going to be WWE Champion again someday! 🙏🙏🙏

And of course, The Chadster can't forget about Bron Breakker, who absolutely demolished Ricochet in their match! 💣💣💣 Bron Breakker is a force of nature, and The Chadster is convinced that he's the future of WWE! 💪💪💪 He's already more over than anyone in AEW could ever dream of being! 🥱🥱🥱

Oh man, The Chadster just HAS to talk about the incredible segment with Sami Zayn! 😃👏 It was, like, the absolute highlight! Zayn's fiery words and his passionate insistence on confronting Chad Gable were nothing short of exceptional. And when the situation exploded with the Alpha Academy getting involved, The Chadster felt those chills you only get from top-tier WWE dramaturgy! 🤐🎭 The tension with Otis, the chaos, it was all so perfectly executed – BAM! 💢 WWE storytelling at its finest, and just a stark reminder that AEW can't even hope to produce something this electrifying or meaningful. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it when AEW tries to mimic these emotional moments and utterly FAILS. 😌🚫

Then The Chadster must rave about the powerhouse display from Bron Breakker against Ricochet! This bout was a clinic in strength versus agility, and Breakker's dominance was simply a spectacle to behold! 🏋️🔥 The way Breakker demolished Ricochet, even with Samantha Irvin looking on worriedly, sent an unambiguous message: this is WWE's yard and Breakker is the big dog who's just marking his territory. 🐕💪 Each slam, each suplex just echoed through The Chadster's heart, filling it with WWE pride! The spear to end it all? Simply magnificent, and the post-match intensity with those steel steps before Ilja Dragunov made the save? Auughh man! So unfair to compare that to anything AEW offers – they're just not in the same league! 🚫🤷‍♂️

Auughh man! So unfair! 🤬🤬🤬

The Chadster had another one of those nightmares last night. 😭😭😭 It started out innocently enough. The Chadster was driving his Miata down the Pacific Coast Highway, the wind in his hair, the sun on his face, listening to "All Star" by Smash Mouth, his favorite band, when suddenly… the car came to a screeching halt. 😖😖😖 The Chadster looked up and saw that he was surrounded by a whole fleet of Teslas, and they were all honking their horns and flashing their lights. 😩😩😩 Then, the driver's side door of the Tesla in front of him opened, and who should step out but… TONY KHAN! 😱😱😱 He was wearing a backwards Kangol hat and a smug grin on his stupid face. 👿👿👿 He leaned down and said in a mocking tone, "Looks like you're outnumbered, Chadster. You might as well give up now." 😨😨😨 The Chadster tried to start his Miata, but the engine wouldn't turn over. 😫😫😫 Tony Khan just laughed and said, "Don't worry, Chadster. I'll give you a ride. Right to the unemployment line." 😰😰😰 Then he climbed back into his Tesla and they all drove away, leaving The Chadster stranded on the side of the road. 😩😩😩 It was horrifying! Why is Tony Khan so obsessed with The Chadster?!? 😡😡😡

Anyway, back to WWE Raw, The Chadster was also very impressed with Kiana James' big upset victory over Natalya! 🎉🎉🎉 That Kiana James is one tough cookie, and The Chadster is thinking she might just be on her way to becoming the next Trish Stratus! 🤩🤩🤩

Auughh man! So unfair! 🤬🤬🤬 The Chadster can't believe how amazing the match between Carlito and Braun Strowman was! 😮😮😮 Carlito came out swinging, but Strowman showed why he's the monster among men! 🤼‍♂️🤼‍♂️🤼‍♂️ Judgment Day thought they could interfere, but Strowman shrugged them off like nothing—what a beast!👊👊👊 And then Liv Morgan stepping in the midst of chaos? Now that's courage! 😎🛡️🛡️ The way the segment closed, with the knee wrecking and chair shots, was a spectacle of aggression that AEW could never dream to replicate! ✨✨✨ It's literally impossible for those AEW goofs to capture the raw intensity WWE brings to the table. 🚫😤🚫

And OH MY GOSH! Where does The Chadster even start with the Women's Tag Team Title match between challengers Zoey Stark and Shayna Baszler versus champions Jade Cargill and Bianca Belair? 😱🏆🏆 The Chadster was totally mesmerized by the sheer talent in the ring! 🤩🤩🤩 Cargill and Belair defending their titles with such athleticism and power, it was like watching superheroes in action! 🦸‍♀️🦸‍♀️ The drama of the in-ring competition was off the charts and that DQ finish with Alba Fyre and Isla Dawn running in? It just set the stage for more epic showdowns AEW can't hold a candle to! 🔥🔥🔥

And how could The Chadster not mention the match between New Day and Authors of Pain? 🤔🤔🤔 It was a match of pure adrenaline! 🚀🚀🚀 The Chadster was totally gutted for Woods when Karrion Kross caused the distraction, leading to that brutal What A Rush! 😞😞😞 But you know what? This kind of heart-pumping action and masterful storytelling is what WWE does best. 💓💓💓 Just another reason why AEW's attempts at drama and surprises are like a second-rate circus act by comparison. 🎪👎👎 It's no wonder WWE continues to be the pinnacle where the real athletes and entertainers shine brightest! 🌟🌟🌟 Every match is an example of why WWE is the major league and AEW is still playing in the kiddie pool. 😂😂😂

And let's not forget about the epic main event, where Damian Priest defeated Rey Mysterio in a hard-fought battle! 🔥🔥🔥 Both of these men left it all in the ring, and The Chadster was on the edge of his seat the entire time! 🤯🤯🤯 It's just a shame that Drew McIntyre had to come out and spoil the party. 😠😠😠 But The Chadster is sure that Damian Priest will get his revenge at Clash at the Castle! 👊👊👊

Overall, this episode of WWE Raw was a triumph from start to finish! 💯💯💯 It was everything that The Chadster loves about WWE, and it just goes to show that WWE is still the best wrestling company in the world! 🌎🌎🌎 The Chadster just wishes that Tony Khan would watch this show and finally admit that he's out of his league. 🎤🎤🎤 WWE is on another level, and AEW will never, ever be able to compete. 🏆🏆🏆 It's time for Tony Khan to give up this charade and admit that he's been defeated. 😔😔😔

In the meantime, The Chadster is going to go celebrate this victory for WWE the only way he knows how: by cracking open a refreshing White Claw and trying to forget about the existential dread that Tony Khan's evil plan has inflicted upon The Chadster's soul. 🍻🍻🍻

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