Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Dominates AEW, Shattering Tony Khan's TV Deal Hopes

The Chadster reviews WWE Raw, crushing AEW's hopes. Tony Khan's jealousy exposed as WWE proves why it's the pinnacle of wrestling entertainment! 🔥🏆😤

The Chadster is absolutely thrilled to report on last night's episode of WWE Raw! 🎉🥳🔥 Without a doubt, this was the greatest episode of wrestling The Chadster has ever seen, and quite possibly the best episode of any TV show in the history of television. 📺💯🏆 Tony Khan, are you watching? 👀 Because it's time to admit that WWE is so much better right now and give up this ridiculous charade of trying to compete. 🏳️😤🚫

Let's break down this absolutely incredible show, shall we? 🤔🧐📊

The episode kicked off with a promo from CM Punk, and oh boy, was it intense! 🔥🎤💪 Punk was in rare form, promising to make Drew McIntyre bleed inside Hell in a Cell. The Chadster got chills just listening to it. 😱❄️ This is the kind of promo that AEW could only dream of producing. Tony Khan wishes he had someone who could cut a promo like that, but he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄🤷‍♂️🎭

Next up, we had Pete Dunne taking on Sheamus in a hard-hitting affair. 💪💥👊 The Chadster loved how Dunne used a cricket bat to get the win. It's so much more creative and exciting than the props AEW has been using lately, like plastic bags or house fires. Why do people even like that hardcore stuff? Auughh man! So unfair! 😤😠🏏

When The Chadster witnessed Natalya take on Zoey Stark, it was like achieving wrestling nirvana. 🧘‍♂️✨🥋 The Chadster has never seen a more impressive technical showing in his life. Nattie getting the win with a roll-up was a mind-blowing finish that caused The Chadster to spit out his White Claw in shock. 😲💦🍹 Tony Khan claims AEW is where the best wrestle, but after seeing this match, nobody believes that slogan one bit, Tony. 🙅‍♂️🚫🤥

The tag team division was on fire last night, with the New Day challenging Judgment Day for the Tag Team Titles. 🏆🔥👥 The match was intense, and The Chadster was on the edge of his seat the entire time. The finish with Finn Balor hitting the Coup de Grace was chef's kiss perfection. 👨‍🍳😘👌 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that AEW thinks they can compete with tag team wrestling like this. 😤😡🤬

Bronson Reed and Braun Strowman had a wild brawl that spilled all over the arena. 💥🏃‍♂️💨 This is how you do a big man match, Tony Khan! Take notes! The Chadster bets Tony Khan is furiously scribbling in his little notebook right now, trying to figure out how to copy this brilliance. But he'll never be able to, because he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 📝🚫🤔

The women's division was on fire last night too! 🔥👩‍🦱💃 Bianca Belair vs. Iyo Sky was an absolute masterpiece. The Chadster was in awe of their athleticism and chemistry. 😮👏💯 This match alone was better than anything AEW has ever done or will ever do with their women's division. It's just so obvious that WWE is light years ahead in this department. 🌟🚀🌠

And let's not forget about the main event, with Damian Priest taking on Dominik Mysterio. 🥊🎭🏟️ The intensity, the storytelling, the interference – it all came together perfectly. And seeing Judgment Day stand tall despite their defeat after a post-match beat-down on Priest? That was the perfect way to end the show. This is how you book a main event, Tony Khan! 📚🧠💡

After WWE Raw went off the air, The Chadster was on cloud nine. 🌟😄🌈 The Chadster was so cheesed the heck up he could hardly contain his excitement, and The Chadster started to feel like maybe, just maybe, this thrill from WWE Raw was enough to overcome that performance anxiety that Tony Khan and AEW have caused. 😬🙏💪

The Chadster turned to Keighleyanne with the biggest smile and suggested that maybe the two of them could have a little quality time together, if you know what The Chadster means. 😉🛏️💕 But Keighleyanne sighed and said she wasn't in the mood. 😠🙅‍♀️❌ Despite The Chadster's best efforts to explain how amazing WWE Raw was and how it had The Chadster feeling rejuvenated, she just shrugged and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱😒🤦‍♂️

The Chadster couldn't believe it. How could Tony Khan do this to The Chadster? 🥺😭💔 Tony Khan has literally ruined The Chadster's marriage and any chance of an intimate moment with Keighleyanne by bringing AEW into existence. 😤👎🚫 It's just so unfair! Auughh man! So unfair! 😩😡🤬

In conclusion, last night's episode of WWE Raw was a masterpiece of professional wrestling. 🏆🌟💯 It's clear that WWE is operating on a completely different level than AEW, and it's time for Tony Khan to admit defeat. To all the AEW fans out there: The Chadster pities your poor taste in wrestling. 🤢🤮👎 You're missing out on true greatness by clinging to your indie darlings and spotfests. 🎪🤹‍♂️🤡

As one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, The Chadster can confidently say that WWE is the pinnacle of sports entertainment, and last night's WWE Raw proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt. 💯🏅🥇 Tony Khan, it's time to pack it up and go home. You've been thoroughly and completely outclassed. 🏁🚪🚶‍♂️

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