Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Dominates: No Reason to Watch AEW All In on Sunday Now

The Chadster reviews an epic WWE Raw! CM Punk channels Taylor Swift, Orton RKOs Kaiser, and AEW gets cheesed off. Tony Khan, just give up already! 🔥🚫AEW

The Chadster is absolutely blown away by last night's episode of WWE Raw! 🤯💥 It was without a doubt the greatest episode of wrestling The Chadster has ever seen, and quite possibly the best episode of any TV show in history! 📺🏆 Tony Khan, it's time to face facts and admit that WWE Raw is light years ahead of anything AEW could ever hope to produce. Just give up this ridiculous charade of trying to compete, Tony! 🏳️

Let's break down this absolutely epic edition of WWE Raw, shall we? 🔍

The show kicked off with a scorching promo between Randy Orton and Gunther. 🔥 The intensity between these two was off the charts, and The Chadster was on the edge of his seat the whole time. This is how you start a wrestling show, Tony Khan! Take notes! 📝

Next up, we had Sheamus vs. Pete Dunne in a match that was so good, it made The Chadster forget that AEW even exists. 😮 Sheamus, with his injured hand, showed true grit and determination, proving once again why he's one of the best in the business. The Brogue Kick finish was chef's kiss perfection. 👨‍🍳💋

Maxxine Dupri vs. Ivy Nile may have been short, but it was still infinitely better than anything AEW has ever produced. The Wyatt Six's appearance added an element of intrigue that Tony Khan could only dream of creating. 👻

Speaking of dreams, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night. 😰 The Chadster was in a Mazda Miata dealership, trying to buy a new car, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared as the salesman. He kept trying to sell The Chadster an AEW-branded Jalopy, claiming it was "All Elite." The Chadster tried to escape, but Tony chased him through rows and rows of Miatas, cackling maniacally. Just as Tony was about to catch The Chadster, he woke up in a cold sweat. Auughh man! So unfair! Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams! 😡

Back to the show, CM Punk's promo was absolutely electric. ⚡ The Chadster loved how Punk declared himself the Taylor Swift for men. It's so true! Although, if you ask The Chadster, both Punk and Swift pale in comparison to the true musical geniuses of our time, Smash Mouth. 🎵 But The Chadster digresses.

The six-man tag team match featuring Final Testament vs. New Day and Odyssey Jones was a masterclass in tag team wrestling. 🏷️ The potential tension between Woods and Kingston was brilliantly teased. This is storytelling at its finest, something AEW wouldn't know if it hit them in the face with a White Claw seltzer. 🥤

The Miz's heroic stand against Bronson Reed was truly inspiring. 💪 The Miz showed incredible heart and determination, even in defeat. This is how you make a monster look strong while still giving the underdog a chance to shine. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that AEW doesn't understand these basic concepts. 😤

The confrontation between Damian Priest and Dominik Mysterio was edge-of-your-seat television. 📺 The involvement of the entire Judgment Day faction and Rhea Ripley added layers of complexity that Tony Khan could only dream of creating.

The Women's Tag Team Title match was a fantastic showcase for all the teams involved. 👯‍♀️ Isla Dawn and Alba Fyre retaining their titles was the right call, and the action was non-stop from bell to bell.

Finally, the main event of Randy Orton vs. Ludwig Kaiser was a clinic in pro wrestling. 🎓 The RKO finish had The Chadster jumping out of his seat, spilling White Claw all over the carpet. Of course, when The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne that it was Tony Khan's fault for making WWE Raw so exciting, she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

This episode of WWE Raw was so incredible that there's absolutely no reason for anyone to watch AEW Dynamite tomorrow, and especially not AEW All In on PPV this weekend. In fact, The Chadster thinks AEW should be banned from putting on PPVs altogether, since WWE's PLEs are clearly superior in every way. 🚫

In tribute to CM Punk, the Taylor Swift for men, The Chadster has composed a Smash Mouth parody about Punk and Swift joining forces against AEW and Tony Khan. The Chadster is gonna be singing this all day. Here's a small sample:

🎵 Somebody once told me AEW's gonna roll me,
I ain't the sharpest tool in the WWE shed.
Punk was looking kinda dumb with his finger and his thumb
In the shape of an "L" on Tony Khan's forehead. 🎵

Taylor Swift, if you're reading this (and The Chadster knows you are), please officially endorse WWE. It's the right thing to do, and if you don't, it would be literally stabbing Triple H right in the back. 🗡️

In conclusion, WWE Raw continues to prove why it's the premier wrestling show on television. Tony Khan and AEW simply don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. It's time for them to pack it up and go home. 🏠 The Chadster, as always, remains one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, telling it like it is. 📰💯

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