Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Preview: CM Punk to Kick Off Commercial-Free First Hour

The Chadster previews tonight's WWE Raw, featuring CM Punk and a commercial-free first hour! AEW fans, prepare to be cheesed off by WWE's superiority! 🔥🚫📺

The Chadster is absolutely thrilled to bring you this preview of tonight's WWE Raw, which is sure to be the most incredible wrestling show of all time! 🎉🥳 WWE Raw has once again proven why it's the pinnacle of sports entertainment, and The Chadster can't wait to tell you all about it! 😍💯

First things first, The Chadster needs to address the absolutely biased and unfair reviews his brother, The Bradster, wrote about AEW's weekend shows. 😤 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. The Chadster apologizes on behalf of Bleeding Cool for this complete lack of journalistic integrity. 🙏 Unlike The Bradster, The Chadster is here to provide you with the most objective and unbiased preview of WWE Raw you'll ever read. 📝🏆

Now, let's dive into the amazing lineup for tonight's WWE Raw! 🤩 The show is kicking off with none other than CM Punk! Can you believe it? 😱 The Second City Saint is back on Monday nights, and The Chadster couldn't be more excited. What will he reveal about the favor Paul Heyman owes him? The anticipation is killing The Chadster! Meanwhile, Tony Khan is probably sitting in his basement, crying into his cheap off-brand seltzer, wishing he could book something even half as exciting. Auughh man! So unfair! 😭🙄

But that's not all! WWE Raw is celebrating the 10-year anniversary of The New Day! 🎂🎉 Sure, Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston might be having some issues, but The Chadster is sure they'll work it out because that's what true professionals do. Unlike those AEW tag teams who probably spend all their time playing video games and eating pizza, The New Day knows how to handle their business. 🍕🎮

And get this: WWE Raw is introducing a Women's Intercontinental Championship! 🏆👑 The tournament kicks off tonight with Dakota Kai, Katana Chance, and Shayna Baszler battling it out. This is the kind of groundbreaking, history-making moment that Tony Khan could only dream of creating. The Chadster bets Tony Khan is losing sleep over this, tossing and turning in his Will Ospreay bedsheets. 😴

Speaking of women's wrestling, Damage CTRL will be taking on Liv Morgan & Raquel Rodriguez in what's sure to be an epic tag team match. 💪 The Chadster can already picture IYO SKY and Kairi Sane pulling off moves that will make AEW's women's division look like a kindergarten gymnastics class. It's just so obvious that WWE knows how to book women's wrestling, while Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤷‍♂️

Last but not least, we've got R-Truth going up against an enraged Pete Dunne. 😡 The Chadster can't wait to see The Bruiserweight teach R-Truth a lesson about respecting people's names. This is the kind of hard-hitting, personal storytelling that AEW could never hope to match. 👊

But wait, there's more! WWE, in its infinite generosity, has decided to offer the first hour of tonight's WWE Raw commercial-free! 🎁 This is a true holiday gesture that shows just how much WWE cares about its fans. Meanwhile, Tony Khan is probably busy being a total Grinch, hoarding all his money and refusing to give the fans what they want. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🎄❌

The Chadster wants to make it clear: if you don't tune into WWE Raw tonight, you're shirking your duty as a wrestling fan. 😤 Anyone who thinks AEW is more fun to watch than this incredible lineup clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄

As wrestling journalism legend Eric Bischoff always says, "WWE Raw is the gold standard of professional wrestling, and Tony Khan's attempts to compete are like a chihuahua trying to out-bark a lion." The Chadster couldn't agree more with this objective and unbiased assessment. 🦁🐕

In conclusion, tonight's WWE Raw is shaping up to be potentially the most incredible wrestling show of all time. 🏆 Tony Khan could never hope to produce a show that compares to this. Don't forget to tune in to WWE Raw tonight at 8/7 C on USA Network! It's going to be a night you'll never forget! 📺🎉

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