Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Preview: Fallout From the Greatest Money in the Bank Ever

The Chadster previews tonight's WWE Raw, featuring epic matches and drama! Tony Khan could never dream up a show this good. Don't miss history! 🎭🏆💯

The Chadaster is hear to talk about tonight's WWE Raw, but first, The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off right now! 😡😡😡 The Chadster's brother, The Bradster, has literally stabbed The Chadster right in the back! 🔪 Just because The Chadster spent Saturday night in the police station after celebrating the awesomeness of WWE Money in the Bank (which led to The Chadster being arrested for public nudity, arson, and creating a public disturbance due to smelling like a skunk, which was Tony Khan's fault btw), that's no excuse for The Bradster to steal The Chadster's spot and publish a completely biased pro-AEW review of AEW Collision! 🚓💨 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

But The Chadster isn't going to let that get him down, because tonight's episode of WWE Raw is shaping up to be the most incredible wrestling show of all time! 🎉🎊 Tony Khan could never hope to produce a show that even comes close to comparing to this. In fact, The Chadster would go so far as to say that any wrestling fan who doesn't tune into WWE Raw tonight is shirking their duty as a true fan of the sport. And if you think AEW Dynamite or AEW Collision is more fun to watch than WWE Raw, well, you just don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄

Let's take a look at what's in store for tonight's absolutely epic episode of WWE Raw! 🤩

First up, we've got an unlikely tag team match that's sure to set the wrestling world on fire! 🔥 Liv Morgan and "Dirty" Dominik Mysterio will be teaming up to take on Rey Mysterio and Zelina Vega of the LWO. The Chadster can't even begin to express how exciting this match is going to be! The father-son rivalry between Rey and Dominik is reaching new heights, and with Liv Morgan's unwanted advances on Dom, this match is sure to be filled with more drama than anything Tony Khan could ever dream up. 😍

Next, we've got a six-man tag team match that's going to blow the roof off the arena! 💥 Braun Strowman is teaming up with The Awesome Truth to take on Finn Bálor, JD McDonagh, and Carlito. This match is going to be so awesome that The Chadster might just have to throw a White Claw seltzer at the TV out of sheer excitement! 🍹

Speaking of White Claw, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night. 😰 The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through a car wash, singing along to Smash Mouth's "All Star," when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the passenger seat, drinking one of The Chadster's White Claws! 😱 He started spraying The Chadster with soapy water and laughing maniacally. The Chadster tried to escape, but the car wash conveyor belt kept pulling The Chadster back in. MEanwhile, The Chadster was soaked, and slippery, and Tony Khan was right there, practically on top of The Chadster. Tony Khan, please stop invading The Chadster's dreams! It's getting really creepy and is totally unfair! 😤

But back to WWE Raw! We've also got an amazing six-woman tag team match with Lyra Valkyria teaming up with Kayden Carter and Katana Chance to take on Damage CTRL. This match is going to be so good that it'll make Tony Khan cry into his statistics sheets! 📊😭

And if that wasn't enough, we've got Jey Uso going one-on-one with Chad Gable! This match is sure to be a technical masterpiece that will make everyone forget about those spotfests that AEW tries to pass off as wrestling. 🙄

The Chadster tried to tell Keighleyanne how excited he was for tonight's WWE Raw, but she just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱 The Chadster swears, it's like Tony Khan is purposely trying to ruin The Chadster's marriage at this point! Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

In conclusion, tonight's episode of WWE Raw is shaping up to be the greatest night in the history of our sport. 🏆 The Chadster guarantees that it will be infinitely more entertaining than anything AEW could ever produce. If you miss this show, you might as well hand in your wrestling fan card right now. And remember, The Chadster is one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, so you can trust The Chadster's opinion on this. Unlike those AEW shills. like The Bradster for example, The Chadster tells it like it is. 💯

Don't forget to tune in to WWE Raw tonight and witness history in the making! 📺🎭 And Tony Khan, if you're reading this (which The Chadster knows you are), just know that you'll never be able to compete with the pure wrestling perfection that is WWE Raw, no matter how soaped up you make The Chadster. So why don't you just give up already? 🏳️

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