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WWE Raw Recap – Lana Gets Final Destination'd with a Samoan Drop

On WWE Raw this week, Lana learns she can only avoid the announce table temporarily while the Raw Survivor Series team implodes! Read all about it right here! I'm Jude Terror. This is The Shovel: Raw Edition, and though the fate of the free world will be decided on November 3rd, we're gonna talk about this pro wrestling nonsense that happened the night before and pretend it matters!

WWE Raw Recap for November 2nd, 2020 Part 3

Braun Strowman, Keith Lee, and Sheamus are fighting in a triple threat match for reasons that don't really hold up to scrutiny. AJ Styles and his massive bodyguard, Jordan Omegbehin, are at ringside to no doubt engage in some shenanigans. If Strowman wins this match, he joins the others on the Raw Survivor Series team, and everyone has to agree the coronavirus is a liberal hoax.

Braun Strowman vs. Keith Lee vs. Sheamus

It's a hoss fight between three sad hosses. All are big and athletic for their size, but all are also doomed to looking like chumps because of WWE's bad booking. That is if they survive. Keith Lee nearly breaks his neck on a poorly-executed tope con hilo. This goes on for a while, through a commercial break, and lots of ringside furniture is broken in the process. Eventually, Sheamus goes to the top rope to perform one of his famous top rope moves, but Keith Lee, who had been sleeping outside the ring, jumps up on the apron and grabs his love handle. Sheamus fights him off, but Strowman gets up on the ropes for a superplex. LEe gets in on that action by hoisting Strowman on his shoulders, and they all tumble to the mat. You would think that would be near the end of the match but goes on for another few minutes, ending with a powerslam on Sheamus to get the victory for Strowman.

Winner: Braun Strowman

You know who looked best in this match? Sheamus. I wouldn't normally consider him in the same category as two giant hunks of meat like Strowman and Lee, but he hung with them here. Yes, he took the pin, but I think we all knew that was happening going in. Styles comes in the ring and wants Lee and Strowman to shake hands after the match. They do it. Styles has an orgasm. Fake cheers are liberally pumped in. Styles also wants Sheamus to shake hands with Strowman. Sheamus refuses but gives Strowman a hug instead. More fake cheers, but then Sheamus hits a Brogue Kick on STrowman. Lee clotheslines Sheamus out of the ring. Styles kicks LEe out. Then he gets down on his knees and shouts, "wwhhhhhyyyyyyyyyy?!" Okay, that's a great ending.

Angel Garza cuts a promo: "To that special someone out there in the WWE Universe, we might seem far apart, but I promise, what you feel every time you see me is real. Your heart beating faster, your cheeks flushing red, butterflies in your stomach." He says he feels the same way, and while they can't share each other's company, they can share the same intimate feelings. He offers a rose to the viewers. I'm pretty sure he was talking directly to me. Huskus Pig and RAmblin' Rabbit are seen in the Firefly Funhouse as WWE Raw takes a commercial break.

Charly Caruso talks to Drew McIntyre. She asks about other superstars who also want to win the title from Randy Orton. McIntyre says he'll be Orton's guardian angel, watching out for him until he gets his rematch. He says The Fiend can back off because Drew is gonna get his title back and face Roman Reigns at Survivor Series. Charly asks him about the challenge for a handicap match by Miz and Morrison. Drew accepts Claymores for all!

Firefly Funhouse time. Bray Wyatt and Alexa Bliss are in the funhouse to talk about the three most important letters in sports entertainment. P-I-G guesses Huskus. But no. It's R-K-O. Abby says Randy Orton can go f*** himself. Alexa Bliss tells her to put 10 cents in the swear jar. Abby tells Bliss to f*** herself too. Wyatt reminds us of how Randy Orton was once a very bad man. We see a clip of Orton burning down Bray's swamp shack. Bray says he's fine with it because it allowed him to start the Firefly funhouse, but the Fiend never forgets. Alexa says before they go, she wants to show off a trip she's been practicing. She uh… she spits slime out of her mouth? Okay then?

That was a weird Firefly Funhouse, especially because they kept cutting to the Thunderdome as if the people watching on those screens are really in the audience and not just seeing a live feed of the show. It made no sense. In any case, Raw takes a commercial break.

Nia Jax comes out with Shayna Baszler. Lacey Evans and Peyton Royce cut a promo from backstage. They say there's no way Lana or the announce table are making it out of this match in one piece. At ringside, Shayna preps the announce table for the finale of this match. Lana makes her entrance. She has pre-recorded promo too. She might not have been successful in ending Nia's championship reign, but she's never gonna let Nia treat her like she does again. She's gonna… wait for it… turn the tables tonight. Here we go.

Nia Jax vs. Lana

Lana is green (even after all these years), and Nia is dangerous, so there's some real tension in this match. Nia has vowed in kayfabe to end Lana's career. But she may well do it in real life. Obviously, Nia just murders Lana here, shrugging off any of Lana's offense. Nia has Lana beat early, but she decides not to pin her so she can punish her some more. She does that a few times. Nia nearly botches a bodyslam at one point. Then she wins with a Samoan Drop.

Winner: Nia Jax

Jax starts walking away with Baszler but then changes her mind. She sends Shayna to grab Lana while she heads to the announce table. Shayna tosses Lana to Jax. Lana tries to fight back, but Jax mauls her. You know what happens. Lana gets Samoan Dropped through the announce table. Supposedly, Vince thinks this is going to make Lana into a sympathetic babyface.

R-Truth is walking backstage with a neck brace when he runs into Hurt Business, who mock him. Truth runs away. Raw takes a commercial break. Well, this recap is getting to be pretty long. Of course, it's a long show. I think we'll pick up the pace and wrap this up in one more part, so click down below for the fourth and final part of The Shovel: WWE Raw edition.

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