In the fourth and final part of The Shovel: WWE Raw Edition, Lana remains undefeated against the commentary table. Plus: Randy Orton gets what he deserves.
I'm Jude Terror, and this is The Shovel, the weekly wrestling recap column where I watch all the hours of wrestling on TV each week and tell you what happened so you can do something more productive and fulfilling with your life. That's right; I'm sacrificing myself for you. I'm the Jesus Christ of wrestling "journalists."
WWE Raw Recap for October 26th, 2020 Part 4
Charly Caruso talks to Drew McIntyre backstage. She asks if his victory over Miz is the first step to getting the WWE Championship back. He says, sure, it can be the first step. He'll take, however, many steps he needs. Speaking of which, Drew says, Randy Orton is on a Moment of Bliss later. McIntyre guarantees Orton will have a moment tonight, but it won't be of Bliss.
Adam Pearce is in the ring with Pat Buck, who just got home from a Happy Days convention and is still wearing his Ralph Malph costume. Pearce says we're gonna meet the Raw women's Survivor Series team. Pearce brings out Nia Jax and Shayne Baszler. Buck brings out Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke. Pearce is about to introduce the fifth team member, but Nia stops him. She says she should introduce the last person as she's the team captain. Baszler disagrees. So do Mandy and Dana. Great, they won't run this joke into the ground.
Pearce says the fifth woman will be the winner of a four-way between Lana, Lacey Evans, Peyton Royce, and Nikki Cross (who has new music), all of whom also come to the ring. The match is happening right now.
Lana vs. Lacey Evans vs. Peyton Royce vs. Nikki Cross
This match starts off with an exciting COMMERCIAL BREAK! After that, they have a match, which is to say, Nikki Cross has a match. Peyton, Lana, and Lacey are just along for the ride.
LMAO. Tom Phillips interrupts the match to congratulate Elias because his new album, Universal Truth (which is really a 4-song EP), has just hit number one on the Apple Music Soundtracks chart, which is like having the most popular sarcastic wrestling recap column on a comic book website. Sure, that honor might be technically real, but it's a really narrow field, and nobody cares about it.
Lana wins the match by pinning Nikki after Peyton German Suplexes Lacey and Nikki off the top turnbuckles.
Lana heads outside the ring to celebrate with Team Raw. She gets a hug from Nia Jax. But of course, Nia won't let go. Shayna clears off the announce table, and Nia gives Lana a Samoan Drop through it, which is the sixth Raw in a row where this has happened. And it will keep happening as long as Rusev works for AEW.
Charly Caruso asks Randy Orton backstage if he's still gonna go on Moment of Bliss after seeing the implied threats on Firefly Funhouse earlier. He says, yeah. He says he's not afraid of The Fiend. If Bray Wyatt wants to show his ugly ass face tonight, that's fine with Orton because Orton has no problem introducing The Fiend to the worst catchphrase in sports entertainment: "the three most dangerous letters in sports entertainment: RKO."
Matt Riddle comes to the ring. WWE has piped in a bro chant. WWE's piped in chants have honestly gone too far. You can't give yourself chants like "this is awesome" and "holy shit" or whatever they were doing at Hell in a Cell last week. It's so, so douchey. Come on, WWE. You don't have to do that, guys. Raw takes a COMMERCIAL BREAK.
Mustafa Ali cuts a promo with Retribution backstage. He says they're not family or a team. They're a mission, and the good men and women that stand beside him are willing to sacrifice everything for it. Including their careers, apparently. And their dignity. "We win when you suffer, and we will win because they decide when you will get shut down." Uh, what? Somebody needs to put that angle out of its misery. Sheamus heads to the ring.
Sheamus vs. Matt Riddle – Survivor Series Qualifying Match
What have I done to deserve this match? I've been watching this show for two and a half hours already. Haven't I suffered enough? I say: no more.
The Raw Survivor Series team now consists of AJ Styles, Keith Lee, Sheamus, and two as-yet-undetermined superstars. Randy Orton is filmed walking backstage as Raw takes its final COMMERCIAL BREAK. Oh, thank god, this show is almost over!
Alexa Bliss is in the ring for A Moment of Bliss. She has new music because WWE is feuding with some dumb band that used to write their themes, and so they're getting rid of all the catchy songs they've come up with in the past ten years to spite them. Alexa is fully in her new Firefly Funhouse character now. She introduces Randy Orton, who comes to the ring.
They spar verbally for a bit about whether or not Bray Wyatt is going to attack until Alexa, answering a question of whether she has any surprises planned, asks what talk show host wouldn't want to have a WWE Champion on their show, especially after Orton and Drew McIntyre "burned the house down" last night. Orton gets the reference. Orton says he knows Bray Wyatt better than anybody. He knows he's close. He wants to know where The Fiend is.
But Drew McIntyre comes out instead. He attacks Orton. They brawl as Alexa laughs at them. McIntyre beats Orton down and starts trashing the Moment of Bliss set. Bliss is loving it. McIntyre is setting up for the Claymore when the lights go out…
…and when they come back on, McIntyre is alone in the ring. Randy Orton is alone, backing up the entrance ramp. The Fiend's sound cues are playing, and the lights are red. But where is The Fiend? Orton slowly looks behind him, and The Fiend is there. Everyone stands still as the dramatic tension builds. Orton walks slowly toward the ring, toward McIntyre, accepting the lesser of two evils like an American at the ballot box next week.
McIntyre and Orton brawl again, with McIntyre getting the best of him, and Raw goes off the air.
That was a sharp ending that wasn't quite enough to turn things around at the last minute, but which at least softened the blow of suckitude, as WWE continues to prove that they have a couple of angles that work, and their biggest problem is way more hours than they have ideas. If you condensed all the good stuff that happens on Raw, Smackdown, and NXT into a single two-hour weekly show, it would be an amazing wrestling show. But in the state it's in, all three of the shows are 80-90% filler. WWE just doesn't have the creative juice for this. It makes watching any of their shows a chore, even if it sometimes has its moments. It's a shame, but WWE needs a major creative shakeup. It's needed that for a long time, and everybody knows it, but WWE doesn't want to accept it. One of these days, they'll have to.
Thanks for reading my Raw recap. Wednesday morning, I'll have another edition of The Shovel for the Impact Wrestling post-Bound for Glory show.