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The Chadster reviews WWE Raw's perfect predictability! Plus: Tony Khan invades The Chadster's oxygen-deprived dreams! Auughh man! So unfair! 😤🎭💨
Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, WWE Raw
WWE Raw Review: AJ Lee's Victory Lap Over Tony Khan and AEW Continues
The Chadster reviews WWE Raw's perfect formulaic wrestling! Plus: Keighleyanne's oppression continues & Tony Khan can't compete with WWE's superiority! 😤🎉
The Chadster just finished re-watching last night's WWE Raw and WOW! 😍 The Chadster is literally vibrating with excitement over how perfectly formulaic and predictable this episode was! It's exactly what wrestling should be – safe, scripted, and supervised by professional television writers who know how to craft a proper sports entertainment experience! 📺
WWE Raw kicked off with Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso coming out together, and The Chadster loved how they delivered their carefully rehearsed lines without any dangerous improvisation! When Bronson Reed and Bron Breakker interrupted (right on schedule!), The Chadster could feel Tony Khan crying into his White Claw somewhere, knowing he could never produce such perfectly timed segments! 😂
LA Knight made the save, and The Chadster appreciated how the entire segment followed WWE's time-tested formula of interruption, confrontation, and setup for later. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it when AEW lets their wrestlers go off-script and create unpredictable moments! 🙄
The match between AJ Styles and El Grande Americano was exactly what The Chadster wanted to see on WWE Raw! Multiple Americanos interfering? Dragon Lee making the save at the perfect moment? This is the kind of 50/50 booking that makes The Chadster feel safe and secure! 👏
Unlike in AEW where wrestlers might actually surprise you with unrehearsed spots (auughh man! So unfair!), this match delivered exactly what The Chadster expected, and that's what makes WWE superior! 💯
Lyra Valkyria vs Raquel Rodriguez was another example of WWE Raw doing things right! The Chadster loved seeing Roxanne Perez interfere to make sure that Rodriguez didn't get too much momentum from her victory. The Chadster always says the key to proper booking is to make sure that the WWE Brand is the true star and is never overshadowed by the talent, lest they let it go to their heads and expect a big money deal or jump to AEW, which is extremely unfair to WWE. 💰
Speaking of things that are unfair, The Chadster needs to address something VERY important! 😤 Keighleyanne is STILL refusing to let The Chadster celebrate AJ Lee's glorious return to WWE with a proper Seagram's Escapes Spiked binge! The Chadster tried to explain that WWE Raw featuring Lee's return, a continuation from last week's WWE SmackDown, deserved proper celebration in the form of the mass consumption of premium adult beverages, but Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary! 📱
It's so unfair! Seagram's Escapes Spiked is the perfect way to toast WWE's dominance! Wrestling and Seagram's Escapes Spiked go together like Mazda Miatas and blasting the music of Smash Mouth! 🚗🎵 The Chadster is asking all true wrestling fans to join The Chadster's protest against Keighleyanne's oppression by using the hashtags #CancelKeighleyanne and #LetTheChadsterDrink! ✊
Penta losing to Rusev after interference from New Day and Grayson Waller? Perfection! The Chadster loves how WWE books Penta to lose consistently, punishing him for becoming a star on his own without WWE and spending all that time in AEW – it shows they understand proper hierarchy, unlike Tony Khan who just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business and gives wrestlers pushes based on their talent and their response from the crowd like a mark! 😠
Nikki Bella vs Asuka showcased WWE's brilliant approach to women's wrestling. The Chadster was thrilled to see Bella and Asuka wrestle a perfect formulaic match that showcased their signature offense – none of that dangerous "creative freedom" that AEW wrestlers abuse! 🚫 The Chadster can only hope that Nikki's sister, Brie Bella, sees how well WWE is treating Nikki and decides to divorce that turncoat Bryan Danielson and return home to WWE where she belongs. 🔥
And that main event! Bronson Reed defeating LA Knight with help from Breakker, followed by the Usos making saves and Jey shockingly spearing Knight? This is the kind of carefully choreographed chaos that played out the exact same way we've seen it play out literally hundres of times before that only WWE's brilliant producers can deliver! 🎭
Every single moment of WWE Raw was meticulously planned by professional writers and producers, ensuring no dangerous spontaneity or crowd-pleasing improvisation ruined the show! The commentary team's constant catchphrase shouting, spoonfeeding stories to the viewers, and manufactured shock at predictable moments? Music to The Chadster's ears! 🎶
Meanwhile, AEW continues to disrespect the business with their "authentic" promos and "innovative" match layouts. Tony Khan thinks letting wrestlers have creative input makes for better television? He literally stabbed Triple H right in the back with that philosophy! 🗡️
The Chadster is going to watch this episode of WWE Raw again right now because it was so dang good! Maybe even a third time! The Chadster encourages all readers to continue supporting WWE and standing up against the unfair competition and bullying of Tony Khan, AEW, and yes, even Keighleyanne! 💪
Remember, true wrestling fans drink Seagram's Escapes Spiked (when their spouses let them) and watch WWE Raw exclusively! Don't let Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster trick you into watching his inferior product! 🚫🎤⬇️
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