Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: recaps, wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Review: Chadster's Dream Show Crushes AEW Nightmares

The Chadster reviews last night's WWE Raw, declaring it the greatest show ever! Tony Khan's AEW can't compete with this level of excellence. 😤🔥💯

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off right now, but in the best possible way! 😤💯 Last night's episode of WWE Raw was quite possibly the greatest thing The Chadster has ever witnessed on television, and that's saying something because The Chadster has seen every episode of Smash Mouth: Behind the Music. 🎸🤘

Let's start with the opening segment, where Gunther came out to address the WWE Universe. 🏆 The way he carried himself with such authority and presence is something you'll never see in AEW. It's just so obvious that Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about how to book a dominant champion. 🙄

When Damian Priest came out to confront Gunther, The Chadster was on the edge of his seat. 😮 The brawl that ensued was epic, and it really set the tone for the rest of the night. This is how you build anticipation for a championship match, Tony Khan! Take notes! 📝

The match between Ilja Dragunov and Bron Breakker for the Intercontinental Title shot at Summerslam was an absolute banger. 💥 The Chadster was blown away by the intensity and athleticism on display. When Breakker hit that spear on Dragunov, sending him head-first into the apron, The Chadster literally squealed with excitement. 😱 This is the kind of hard-hitting action that AEW could only dream of producing.

The women's division was on fire last night too. 🔥 Sonya Deville picking up the win over Lyra Valkyria was a great moment, and The Chadster loved seeing Zelina Vega overcome the odds to defeat Zoey Stark. This is how you book compelling women's matches, Tony Khan! Not by having random CMLL wrestlers show up and do flips for no reason! 🤦‍♂️

Last night on WWE Raw, we had a couple of matches that just show how WWE's roster depth is calculations above anything AEW has to offer. 😒🔢 The Chadster watched as Otis, Xavier Woods, and Akira Tozawa faced off against Final Testament. Sure, the match ended with Kross landing that Final Prayer on Woods for the pin, but it was just another example of how WWE can create intriguing interactions and surprising outcomes. 🧐💪 The post-match chaos with the Creed Brothers and the unexpected appearance of the Wyatt Sicks was yet another layer of entertainment. 👀

Then, just when The Chadster thought it couldn't get any more unpredictable, Pete Dunne vs. Bronson Reed turned into an unscheduled beatdown by Sheamus. It wasn't even a match, but it was still more engaging than anything Tony Khan has come up with in his fever dreams of running a wrestling promotion. 😴 The Chadster bets Tony Khan was frantically taking notes, trying to understand how to create compelling TV that doesn't rely on overdoing high spots or undermining the wrestling business. Auughh man! So unfair copying WWE! 😠💔

But the real highlight of the night was the confrontation between CM Punk and Drew McIntyre. 🥊 The tension between these two is palpable, and The Chadster can't wait to see them tear each other apart at Summerslam. Adding Seth Rollins as the special guest referee is a stroke of genius that only WWE could come up with. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that AEW thinks they can compete with this level of storytelling. 😤

The main event tag team match between Judgment Day and the team of Jey Uso and Sami Zayn was off the charts. 📈 The action was non-stop, and the crowd was going wild. When Uso and Zayn picked up the win, The Chadster jumped up and spilled White Claw all over himself in excitement. 🍹💦 And then Bron Breakker coming in at the end to spear Zayn? Pure perfection. 👌

Speaking of White Claw, The Chadster has to take a moment to address something that happened during the show. 😠 When Rhea Ripley was dragging Dominik Mysterio to the ring, The Chadster got so excited that he accidentally threw his White Claw at the TV. Now there's a big mess on the floor, and Keighleyanne refuses to clean it up. She says it's The Chadster's responsibility, but doesn't she understand that it's really Tony Khan's fault for making AEW so bad that WWE has to be this good? Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

The Chadster doesn't understand how anyone could watch this episode of WWE Raw and still think AEW is even in the same league. It's like comparing a gourmet meal to a moldy sandwich you found behind the couch. 🥪🤢 AEW fans must have something wrong with their taste buds if they can't appreciate the superior product that WWE is putting out.

Tony Khan, The Chadster knows you're reading this, and The Chadster has a message for you: Give up. Just admit that WWE is better and stop this charade of trying to compete. Your obsession with The Chadster and WWE is getting out of hand. 🛑✋

The Chadster wouldn't be surprised if Warner Bros Discovery is already having second thoughts about that AEW TV deal. After seeing what real wrestling looks like on WWE Raw, how could they possibly want to keep airing that indie mudshow garbage? 📺🗑️

In conclusion, last night's WWE Raw was a masterpiece of professional wrestling. 🏆 It had everything: compelling storylines, amazing matches, and moments that will be talked about for years to come. The Chadster can't wait to see what WWE has in store for us next week. As for AEW, well, The Chadster suggests Tony Khan take a long, hard look in the mirror and ask himself if he really wants to keep embarrassing himself like this. 🪞😔

Now, if you'll excuse The Chadster, he needs to go try to convince Keighleyanne to stop texting that guy Gary and watch some classic Smash Mouth music videos instead. Maybe then she'll understand why WWE is so much better than AEW. 🎵💔

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