Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw Tonight: Asuka Returns; The Final Nail in AEW's Coffin?

The Chadster previews tonight's WWE Raw featuring Asuka's return & King/Queen of the Ring action that puts Tony Khan's amateur booking to shame! 🔥👑

Fellow true wrestling fans, The Chadster is absolutely beside himself with excitement for tonight's episode of WWE Raw! 😍💯 This is going to be the most incredible wrestling show of all time, and The Chadster can say with complete confidence that Tony Khan could never hope to produce a show that even comes close to comparing to the pure wrestling perfection that tonight's WWE Raw will objectively be! 🎯✨

The King of the Ring Tournament continues tonight on WWE Raw with what might be the greatest Fatal Four-Way Match in wrestling history! 👑💪 Sheamus, Rusev, Bronson Reed, and Jey Uso will battle it out in a First Round match that has The Chadster literally trembling with anticipation! The fact that Sheamus previously won the King of the Ring Tournament back in 2012 adds such incredible storytelling depth that Tony Khan's chaotic booking could never achieve! 🤩⚡ This is exactly the kind of methodical, perfectly planned tournament structure that makes WWE superior to AEW's haphazard approach to competitions, which don't even conclude in Saudi Arabia like real tournaments are supposed to. Auughh man! So unfair that Tony Khan refuses to learn from WWE's tournament excellence! 😤🏆

The Queen of the Ring Tournament entry for tonight is equally spectacular, featuring Stephanie Vaquer, Asuka, Ivy Nile, and Raquel Rodriguez in what will undoubtedly be the greatest women's wrestling match ever broadcast! 👸💎 Asuka's return alone makes this segment worth the price of admission (which is free on Netflix, unlike AEW's overpriced pay-per-views)! The way WWE builds these tournaments with such precision and care for the audience of Saudi royals that will witness the finals at Night of Champions is exactly what separates them from the amateur hour booking that Tony Khan subjects his poor wrestlers to! 🎪🤡

Bayley addressing her attack on Women's Intercontinental Champion Becky Lynch is going to be absolutely riveting television! 🎭🔥 The historical context that Lynch has a 5-3 record against The Role Model in singles matches shows the references to history only when convenient that makes WWE's storytelling so superior! This is the kind of long-term character development that Tony Khan simply doesn't understand a single thing about! 📊💫

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another one of those recurring nightmares about Tony Khan last night, and this time The Chadster was being chased through a giant Netflix warehouse! 😱🏃‍♂️ Tony Khan was wearing a referee shirt and kept blowing a whistle while screaming about how he was going to ruin WWE Raw for The Chadster! The Chadster ran past towering shelves of old DVD mailers and streaming equipment, but Tony Khan kept gaining ground, his eyes glowing red like some kind of wrestling demon! 👹📺 The Chadster tried to hide behind a display of WWE merchandise, but Tony Khan found The Chadster anyway and started lecturing about "creative freedom" and "letting wrestlers be themselves!" The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, absolutely disgusted that Tony Khan is so obsessed with The Chadster that he's invading The Chadster's dreams! 😰💤

Back the topic at hand, Liv Morgan battling Kairi Sane while addressing her attack on WWE Hall of Famer Nikki Bella is exactly the kind of multi-layered storytelling that makes WWE Raw appointment television! 🗓️✨ The fact that Sane defeated Morgan previously adds such incredible dramatic tension that AEW's random matches could never achieve! And Bella coming back into the WWE fold shows that she finally learned to understand the wrestling business. This is professional wrestling at its absolute finest! 🎯🏅

The Chadster wants to make this crystal clear to all readers: you would be absolutely shirking your duty as a wrestling fan if you don't tune into WWE Raw tonight at 8ET/5PT on Netflix! 📺⏰ Anyone who thinks AEW is more fun to watch than this masterpiece of sports entertainment clearly doesn't understand a single thing about quality wrestling programming! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 😤🙄 This episode of WWE Raw represents everything that makes WWE the pinnacle of professional wrestling entertainment, and The Chadster couldn't be more excited to witness wrestling history in the making! 🎉🏆

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