Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: wrestling, WWE Raw

WWE Raw: Uso vs. Breakker Set to Make Wrestling History

Tonight's WWE Raw promises epic matches and returns! The Chadster previews what could be the greatest Raw ever. AEW fans, eat your hearts out! 🔥🤼‍♂️🏆

The Chadster is so excited to tell you about tonight's episode of WWE Raw! 🎉🥳 It's going to be the most amazing episode of WWE Raw in the history of WWE Raw, and The Chadster can't wait to watch it! 📺💯

First of all, we've got an Intercontinental Championship match between Bron Breakker and Jey Uso. 🏆😍 The Chadster thinks this match is going to be absolutely incredible, unlike anything you'd see on that minor league show AEW. Bron Breakker has been doing such a great job as champion, and Jey Uso is really living up to his "Main Event" nickname. 🌟👏 The Chadster is sure this match will be a technical masterpiece that will make Tony Khan cry into his Panda Express. 🐼😭

Speaking of Tony Khan and crying, The Chadster was sobbing last night when he had another nightmare about him. 😱💤 In this dream, Tony Khan was chasing The Chadster through a giant maze made entirely of White Claw cans. 🥫🏃‍♂️ Every time The Chadster turned a corner, there was Tony Khan, wearing nothing but a referee shirt and holding a contract for The Chadster to sign. It was so scary, and The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. Auughh man! So unfair! 😰 Tony Khan needs to stop being so obsessed with The Chadster and invading his dreams!

But back to WWE Raw! 😃 We're also going to see the return of Drew McIntyre, and The Chadster just knows it's going to be epic. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿💪 Drew McIntyre is such a great wrestler, and his feud with CM Punk is the kind of storytelling that Tony Khan could only dream of. The Chadster can't wait to hear what Drew has to say about their upcoming Hell in a Cell match. It's sure to be way more interesting than anything happening in AEW. 🙄

And let's not forget about Sami Zayn taking on Ludwig Kaiser! 🇨🇦🇩🇪 This match is going to be so good, it's literally going to make Tony Khan cry. Sami Zayn is such a great underdog, and his quest to challenge Gunther for the World Heavyweight Championship is the kind of long-term storytelling that AEW wishes it could do. 📚🏆

The Chadster thinks this episode of WWE Raw has the potential to be the greatest WWE Raw of all time. 🐐🌟 It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it that Tony Khan is trying to overshadow WWE this week with the imminent announcement of AEW's new TV deal. 📺😤 The Chadster hopes that the deal is that AEW gets off TV for good. That would be best for the wrestling business, in The Chadster's unbiased opinion. 📊🧐

The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne how amazing this episode of WWE Raw is going to be, but she just sighed and went back to texting that guy Gary. 📱😒 The Chadster is pretty sure she agreed with him though. It's clear that Tony Khan is now even harassing The Chadster's wife by making her pretend to be uninterested in WWE Raw. 😡

If you're a true wrestling fan, you'll be tuning into WWE Raw at 8/7C tonight on USA Network. 🕗📺 Anyone who thinks AEW is more fun to watch than this episode of WWE Raw clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️ How could anyone prefer AEW's chaotic, unscripted matches to the perfectly choreographed and carefully controlled masterpieces that WWE puts on every week? It's beyond The Chadster's comprehension. 🤯

The Chadster is going to be watching WWE Raw tonight and then taking a relaxing drive in his Mazda Miata while drinking White Claw, as usual. 🚗🍹 He'll probably be blasting some Smash Mouth too, because "All Star" is the perfect soundtrack for watching WWE dominate the wrestling world. 🎵🌟

So remember, true wrestling fans, tune into WWE Raw tonight. Don't let Tony Khan win by watching AEW instead. That would be literally stabbing Triple H right in the back. 🔪😢 The Chadster, as one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling, along with Ryan Satin and Ariel Helwani, can assure you that WWE Raw is the only wrestling show worth watching. 📝💯

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