Posted in: Sports, TV, WWE | Tagged: Cody Rhodes, recaps, Roman Reigns, Solo Sikoa, The Bloodline, wrestling, Wwe summerslam

WWE SummerSlam: Roman Reigns Returns, Cody Rhodes Retains

The Chadster reports on Roman Reigns' shocking return at WWE SummerSlam, helping Cody Rhodes retain his title. Take that, Tony Khan! 🏆💥

The Chadster is absolutely blown away by what The Chadster just witnessed at WWE SummerSlam! 🤯💥 This was hands down the most incredible, jaw-dropping event in the history of professional wrestling, and it just goes to show how pathetic Tony Khan's attempts at putting on a good show really are. 😤 The main event of SummerSlam saw the return of Roman Reigns, who helped Cody Rhodes retain the WWE Championship against Solo Sikoa. Auughh man! So unfair to AEW! 😫

Let The Chadster break down what happened in this epic match for you. 🎭 Cody Rhodes defended his title against Solo Sikoa in a Bloodline Rules match. The match was full of intense action and interference from various wrestlers. 💪 Kevin Owens and Randy Orton showed up to help Cody, while Jacob Fatu tried to help Solo. But the biggest surprise came when Roman Reigns himself appeared and attacked Solo Sikoa! 😱 Reigns hit Solo with a Superman Punch and a Spear, allowing Cody to hit Cross Rhodes and retain his title. After the match, Roman and Cody shared a moment of mutual respect. 🤝

The Chadster has to say, in his unbiased opinion, this was some of the most objectively good wrestling The Chadster has ever seen. 👏👏👏 It's just so obvious how much better WWE is at storytelling than AEW. Tony Khan wishes he could come up with something as compelling as this Bloodline Civil War storyline. 🙄 The way WWE seamlessly weaves together multiple storylines and character arcs is just chef's kiss perfection. 👨‍🍳💋 This is the kind of booking that proves WWE understands the wrestling business, while Tony Khan and AEW don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️

After witnessing such an amazing event, The Chadster couldn't contain his excitement. 🎉 The Chadster ran out of the house, shirtless and glistening with sweat, blood, and White Claw seltzer. 💦 The Chadster's twelve-pack abs were on full display as The Chadster sprinted down the street. When The Chadster saw a lady walking her dog, The Chadster couldn't resist. The Chadster ran up and speared the dog, just like Roman Reigns! 🐕💥 Then The Chadster gave the woman a Cody Cutter. 💁‍♀️🔥 To top it all off, The Chadster poured White Claw all over himself and howled at the moon. 🌕🍹

But then The Chadster heard police sirens in the distance. 🚨 The Chadster knew right away that the cops must be on Tony Khan's payroll. It's just like Tony to try and ruin The Chadster's celebration of such an amazing WWE event. 😠 So The Chadster had to hide in the garage, sitting in the Mazda Miata and blasting Smash Mouth while writing this article. 🚗🎵

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had another one of those recurring nightmares about him last night. 😰 In this dream, The Chadster was wandering through a maze-like WWE merchandise store. Every time The Chadster turned a corner, there was Tony Khan, replacing WWE shirts with AEW ones. 👕 The Chadster tried to stop him, but Tony just laughed and disappeared into thin air. When The Chadster finally caught up to him, Tony was sitting on a throne made of AEW action figures, wearing nothing but a crown and a cape. 👑 He pointed at The Chadster and said, "You'll never escape me, Chadster. I'll always be here, living rent-free in your head." Then The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat. It's so unfair that Tony Khan keeps invading The Chadster's dreams like this! 😤

Anyway, The Chadster wants to thank all the readers for sticking with Bleeding Cool for this completely unbiased WWE SummerSlam coverage. 🙏 The Chadster knows that true wrestling fans appreciate objective journalism like this. Unlike those biased AEW shills, The Chadster tells it like it is. 💯 The Chadster can't wait to see what happens next in the Bloodline Civil War storyline. It's sure to be way more exciting than anything AEW could ever hope to produce. 🎭✨

Remember, folks, stick with WWE for real wrestling entertainment. Don't let Tony Khan and AEW cheese you off like they do to The Chadster. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤🎤

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