Posted in: Movies, TV | Tagged: Comics, dardevil, entertainment, marvel, Marvel Studios, netflix

Why The Netflix Daredevil Just Doesn't Work

Hell's Kitchenette writes,

Yo, Rich,

You've been asking me to write stuff for you guys for a while now but I always passed, cos I didn't really wanna diss stuff so much. I still gotta work in LA. But now it's finally happened, man. I am writing this thing about Daredevil Begins cos I watched about the first seven episodes and I got stuff to say about it, okay?

Now, I was totally hyped for it like any other Marvel fanboi. Frank Miller's run was totally my jam, Bendis' run read like a freakin' documentary to me and Brubaker got me jazzed and Mark Waid's making it fun. I read all the reviews and I was totally in for it. I mainlined the whole seven episodes before I conked out.

Sorry. I'm not hopping on the hype train.

The crime and politics stuff is freakin' idiotic. I kept going WUT? It's totally uniformed and utterly implausible. First of all, those Russian gangster human traffickers would not be some rinky-dink little outfit that needs the Kingpin's backing. They would be part of the international Russian Mafia that goes all the way to israel. That means they'd be part of an crime syndicate worth over a billion dollars! They'd be back by a bigger body than Kingpin and giving him scraps, not the other way around!

Real life history has shown us that a vast crime empire can't be run by just one dude. It has to be run by a board or committee as corporate capitalism unhindered by law. BOARDWALK EMPIRE was all about the rise of that corporate model and Nucky Thompson fails because he tried to run it all himself.

The Kingpin's scheme of "destroy the city so it can renew itself" is completely moronic. NO CRIME BOSS THINKS LIKE THAT!!  If he wanted urban renewal, he'd make it so he can encourage yuppies and hipsters to move into Hell's Kitchen! Drive up rents and real estate prices! Money drives urban renewal, not bombings! So now you can't have crime bosses just be actual crime bosses now in these shows? They all gotta be freakin' R'as al-Ghul??!!! And why would those big, scary, powerful bosses follow this bulshit plan?! It's freakin' TERRORISM! THAT BRINGS HEAT ON EVERYONE AND MAKES THEIR CRIME BUSINESS AND MAKING MONEY A WHOLE OF A LOT HARDER!!! THEY WOULDN'T GO ALONG WITH THAT! SHIT, IF THEY HAD A BRAIN, THEY'D HAVE HIM WHACKED ASAP AND TAKE THEIR BALL AND GO HOME!

And Kingpin is a socially awkward nerd with no idea how to do romance? Please! He's been around long enough and got enough dough to go through a load of women and would be totally confident about wooing and plying them with gifts and the ol' glamour of money & Power! Wimmins would be throwing themselves at him like human confetti!

And Vanessa, pretentious art gallery owner the Kingpin has the hots for, she does not come off as a classy broad any man would want. Instead, she's this complicit sociopath who's turned on by Power. She has no other personality!! HEY PSYCHO LADY! THE DUDE'S KILLING A SHITLOAD OF PEOPLE!! AND YOU'RE INTO THAT!!

Hey look, okay, Daredevil is about a dude who goes out at night to punch dudes. They got that part right. It's all the other stuff that's freakin' bullshit. This is a comic book superhero show like Arrow and Flash, only those shows don't try to convince us it's some kind of gritty adult HBO kind of drama like THE WIRE. This is not THE WIRE. This is dumb superhero show, stop trying to pretend it's more than that! Stop telling us it's some David Simon kinda crime wannabe epic and just stick to the superhero stuff and we're happy! I'm down with Daredevil punching dudes! Don't give us that dumb R'as al-Ghul Christopher Nolan wannabe dumb shit!

So that's my two cents, Rich. Run it if you want or don't. I dunno what to say. I'm just not feelin' it.

Peace,

Hell's Kitchenette

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