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In this episode of Castle Talk, Jason chats with former Brady and Gidget Caryn Richman, who plays a key role as a psychic who may be in over her head in the new film The Puppetman on Shudder.
Posted in: Podcasts, Review, Star Wars, TV | Tagged: Castle of Horror Podcast, star wars, Star Wars Holiday Special
The Star Wars Holiday Special Has Such Sights to Show You
I watched the Star Wars Holiday Special for the first time on November 17, 1978, the one and only time it broadcast, when it bumped that week's episodes of The Incredible Hulk and Wonder Woman on CBS. I was seven years old and I remember three things about it: I remember Bea Arthur singing in the Mos Eisley Cantina. I remember feeling deeply affected when an Imperial Officer tears the head off of the child Wookiee Lumpy's stuffed animal and throws the toy down. That was disturbing. And I remember snippets of Han Solo and Chewbacca in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon. Nothing beside remains.
If only that were all there were of the special. In fact, though you can now find the Star Wars Holiday Special on YouTube, for many years the one-hour and thirty-seven-minute telefilm was so difficult to find that it was easy to imagine it had never happened. Everyone involved was (and is) aware that they had a disastrous product on their hands, and I think the show offers several lessons on how ideas can go spectacularly off the rails. In fact, I believe anyone who loves storytelling should watch it just to understand that when people say crazy things like Catwoman was the worst film ever, they are mistaken. Catwoman is Citizen Kane compared to this. Paul Lynde's impossibly awful 1976 Halloween Special is American Beauty compared to this.
The Star Wars Holiday Special has such sights to show you. What sights? Why:
- Moaning Wookiees. The special is essentially two things: a variety show of musical numbers and skits, and a frame story of Chewbacca's family, at home for Life Day—Wookiee Christmas, basically—puttering around their Tarzan-style tree house while they wait for Chewbacca and hope that the Imperial troops stationed on the planet find out they are rebels against the Empire. But that makes it sound interesting. Mainly they wander back and forth, whining in Chewbacca's garbled sounds. Most of the show is just this. If you cut out the skits and music, I believe you have an hour of Wookiees wandering back and forth on a set. It is the death knell. I think back to 1978 and cannot believe my family sat for this.
- Uncomfortable VR Porn. As part variety special, the show would be forgiven for having Diahann Carroll come on an do a pop song. But the bit leading into the song is very strange. Itchy, a Wookiee so ugly in design that he is hard to have to watch for nearly two hours, receives as a gift a VR set that lets him conjure up a woman– Diahann Carroll—to say sexy things to him like "mm we are excited aren't we?" There's no way this bit—in the middle of what is basically a family show like Donny and Marie—landed well. (Incidentally, Donny and Marie did their own Star Wars episode in 1977, and it's also hard to watch, but still much better than this.)
- A Cartoon About Boba Fett. This is actually pretty good. The Faithful Wookiee is a cartoon, presented as something that Chewbacca's son Lumpy is watching, that introduces the character of Boba Fett. The animation style, from Nelvana Ltd., looks like something from Moebius out of Heavy Metal It is nine minutes long and you should watch it.
- More musical numbers: Bea Arthur sings in the Mos Eisley Cantina. Why? Who knows. By the time we get to her song we've watched a ten-minute, humorless "skit" that's really just a lead-up to the song. Jefferson Starship performs on a VR machine. A bunch of acrobats perform in a hologram. On and on it goes. And finally, Carrie Fisher sings a terrible, terrible song to the tune of the Star Wars
- Art Carney. The breakout star of The Honeymooners plays trader Saun Dann, a friend of the Wookiees and a rebel. He is actually not bad because he does the best he can with his material and seems able to ground his lines in reality. He's the only one who seems to think the Empire going house-to-house looking for rebels would be pretty scary.
In 1978, I remembered those things that burned into my brain: the Falcon, a child loses his toy, the Cantina. The rest was lost. For an adult, this show would be torture. It's a prime example of someone not stopping to ask, "What are we doing? We should start over."
We discussed the special in an episode of the Castle of Horror Podcast. Whether you watch the special is up to you, but give it a listen.
Listen here:
Listen on YouTube:
You can also check out the Star Wars Holiday Special in its entirety. Or just watch the commercial breaks, which will teach you less, but will honestly will be more fun.
Castle of Horror Links
Hosted by Jason Henderson, editor of the Castle of Horror Anthology and Young Captain Nemo, and creator of the HarperTeen novel series Alex Van Helsing; featuring Drew Edwards, creator of Halloween Man; Tony Salvaggio, lead singer of the band Deserts of Mars, lead guitarist of the band Rise from Fire, and co-creator of Clockwerx from Humanoids; attorney Julia Guzman of Guzman Immigration of Denver; and Jamie Bahr, lead singer and upright bassist of the rock and roll band Danger*Cakes.
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