As the comic book industry gears up for reopening following a coronavirus shut down that saw Diamond refuse to ship new comics, Diamond owner Steve Geppi has introduced a new catchphrase to celebrate the reopening: "Our Comeback Will Be Bigger Than Our Setback." The only problem is that Geppi stole that catchphrase from Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, star of MTV's Jersey Shore. The Situation has been using the catchphrase "The Comeback is Always Greater Than The Setback" for years, at first to represent the now-sober star's battles with drug addiction and later as a rallying cry for the eight months he recently spent in prison for tax evasion.
The comics industry has embraced Geppi's stolen catchphrase with open arms, with many comic book retailers tweeting with the hashtag #BackTheComeback. Taking another cue from the store, Geppi, like the great Pauly D, has even said "it's t-shirt time" and produced t-shirts bearing the catchphrase, which retailers are now wearing in photos on social media, also if they are not quite as stylish as the ones The Situation sells. But why stop there? But if the comics industry is going to steal from Jersey Shore's lovable Guidos, why not look for more they can take from the hit reality show to make the industry better? Here's 5 more things the comic book industry should steal from MTV's Jersey Shore.
Gym, Tanning, and Laundry
We all know there's no one in comics that couldn't do with a more of at least two of these things. Maybe add showering into the mix as well, or putting on deodorant once in a while. The Guidos had it right when it comes to always staying "fresh," and the comic book industry could stand to better itself by adopting the GTL principles. Yeah, buddy!
If it really wants to be like The Jersey Shore, the comics industry needs a Snookie. Obviously, Donny Cates would be the Snookie.
Better Hairstyles Part 1
Let's face it; comic book creators have no sense of fashion. Pretty much everyone has the same look. Bald dude. Bald dude. Bald dude. Maybe they sometimes change it up with a bald dude with a beard. But we have a solution that will change the entire look of the comic book industry. Courtesy of Jersey Shore's Pauly D, we give you: the blowout.
On The Jersey Shore, the show's Guidos use the term "grenade" to refer to an unattractive woman, but we're certainly not suggesting the comic book industry would engage in sexism. No, in this case, we're talking about actual grenades. Comic book store owners suffering from decades of industry mismanagement and greedy, myopic policies from Diamond and industry leaders like Marvel and DC that made the business model so fragile in the first place can pull the pin, toss the grenades into the store, blow it up, collect the insurance money, and start a business that will actually be profitable.
Better Hairstyles Part 2
Okay, so the blowout is a great idea, but if everyone starts rocking the blowout, we'll be back to the same problem of complete lack of variety. Well, never fear. Courtesy of Jersey Shore's Snookie, we bring you: the "poof!"
Hopefully, the comics industry finds this list of additional things it can steal from MTV's Jersey Shore helpful. Or at least, more helpful than slapping a stolen platitude on a t-shirt and hoping customers who have finally broken the habit of buying overpriced, ridiculously decompressed chapbooks on a weekly basis will gladly return after weeks of seeing what it's like to be free of the addiction, all without doing anything to solve any of the problems that already existed before the shutdown began. #BackTheComeback