Picture this. You're an alien explorer looking for intelligent life in the universe. You come across the planet Earth, and you find human beings more or less meet the criteria. Now you have to decide: welcome this young species into the interplanetary order? Or nuke the entire planet and strip-mine it for resources. What do you do? Oh — one more thing: in attempting to understand the culture of this strange planet, you tune into the internet and the first communication you come across is a press release from Wizard World talking about how they are packaging old convention video with blockchain and selling it as collectibles with non-fungible tokens. Yeah. Bye-bye, humans.
Unfortunately, this isn't just a far-fetched future apocalyptic scenario. Well, the aliens part is. Probably. But the Wizard World part is totally real. Yes, in the most shamelessly exploitive and irresponsible move since convincing 90s speculators to buy hundreds of copies of Rob Liefeld comics, Wizard is indeed getting into the NFT business. From a press release:
Wizard World, a division of Wizard Brands Inc. (OTCQB: WIZD), through its recently launched interactive Signature Series, connects our fans' past with their present. Using 25 years of exclusive Wizard World (www.wizardworld.com) convention videos, recorded live interviews and memorabilia to create NFTs (Non-Fungible Tokens), Wizard World looks forward to connecting our fans' past to their future.
The launch of Wizard World's NFTs will be an integral part of Wizard World's progression into a technology company that builds global interactive online communities for affinity groups by sourcing, producing, marketing, and streaming exclusive proprietary events and Signature Series, while monetizing unique content from the past and present through Wizard World Vault (www.wizardworldvault.com) and NFTs.
Excuse me for a moment.
*walks away from article*
*faintly in the distance, shouting can be heard amidst the sounds of a person repeatedly slamming their head against a brick wall*
What the ****ing **** is wrong with this **** *****ed *********ing no good god damn ****ed up rootin' tootin' piece of **** industry?! ****ing ****!!! Die, industry, die!!!
*returns to article*
Sorry about that. Something urgent came up. Anyway, here's a quote from Wizard Brands CEO and Chairman Scott Kaufman, allegedly an actual human who allegedly said these actual words:
The blending of reality and fantasy has always been a part of Wizard Brands. With every show, every fan interaction and every digital moment those worlds collide in new and exciting ways. I feel strongly the NFT is a natural evolution for Wizard World and our fans. Although these are uncharted waters for everyone, we're attempting to boldly go and mint nostalgia to the blockchain in a way that everyone will get enjoy for generations to come.
I would say that there's no way Wizard World's customers are going to fall for such a pointless, transparent cash grab, but… well, they're willing to attend Wizard World conventions, so is there anything they won't do, really? You know what they say about comic book fans, after all: there's one born every minute.