Tony Panaccio wants Bill Murray to know something.
First off, looking good in those Monuments Men ads on Facebook. Every time I log on to play Angry Birds, your ad is right there all the time. And yes, I clicked Like.
The reason I am writing you is because I am a nostalgia nerd. I'd call myself a nostalgia addict, but the definition of addiction is something one does compulsively and without joy, and your film roles have always brought me joy – even the ones that came out of left field. I mean, Garfield? Really? But, you were the only reason I watched it. Along with Charlie's Angels, Zombieland and The Life Aquatic (each one with a different level of brilliance). Hell, I even went to the theater to see The Razor's Edge. Friggin critics. You were good.
Being a nostalgia nerd, I found myself horribly dismayed and disappointed that I would not be seeing you in the upcoming Ghostbusters 3. And, let's get this out of the way – yes, I agree with you. It is a monumentally bad idea. I can think of no reason to do another Ghostbusters movie except to find more money among the ectoplasmic ooze. But, as a freelance creative artist myself, I find there is little evil in checks clearing the bank. Money is a great motivator. It got The Eagles back together (remember the Hell Freezes Over Tour? And they said "never again").
That being said, I would like to enumerate a few more reasons that might make a compelling argument for you to appear in Ghostbusters 3, in hopes that you might reconsider your choice to pass on this nostalgia buffet.
1) Getting the Band Back Together – As a pop culture junkie, I have suffered – along with millions of my brethren – with pop culture reunions that lack key members. Journey is currently touring sans Steve Perry. Their new lead singer Arnel Pineda kicks ass, but it's not the same. Styx has toured without Dennis DeYoung. The Dallas revival tragically lost JR last year. Us boomers are aging, and we are losing touch with the movies, bands and TV shows that shaped our youths. The Ghostbusters are among the last few remnants of our pop culture roots. To hear that it's happening without you is like hearing that The Partridge Family is getting together without David Cassidy. Crushing.
2) Monty Python's Doing It – A few days ago, British comedy fans woke from their long slumber to hear that Monty Python is getting back together again for a stage show. Granted, they are missing the departed Graham Chapman, but they are another group of pop culture gods who said never again, but have recanted. Apparently, Terry Jones said he would like to pay off his mortgage, which is fine with me. So would I. And that's what friends do for friends. After all, doesn't Dan Aykroyd have a few bills to pay these days? There are only so many Adam Sandler movie cameos to go around, these days.
3) The Beatles Reunion That Never Happened – Lorne Michaels, one of your old bosses, once tried to get The Beatles back together on an episode of SNL decades ago. And according to the lore, but for a lack of a cab on a cold NYC night, John Lennon and Paul McCartney could have made history. When missed opportunities like that make history almost as much as the reunion would have, it's an indication of fans' thirst for these nods to our past. Without insulting the memory of The Beatles, The Ghostbusters are a fictional version of that kind of gathering. You, Dan, Harold and Ernie are the Fab Four of the afterlife. It won't be the same slime without you. And you have to admit, you still look good in the jumpsuit.
4) It Couldn't Hurt – Look, you are more than an actor. You are a brand. Wherever you go, whatever you appear in, you bring a flavor no one else can. Is there ANYONE else who could have portrayed himself in the midst of a zombie apocalypse? You think Chevy Chase or Eddie Murphy could have pulled that off? No matter what you do, your career is immune to bad movies, because moviegoers love you wherever you appear? That's magic, and magic should never be withheld where it's needed. And if your concern is whether it will be funny, you have to remember that Dan and Harold have written, produced, directed and starred in some of the funniest movies of all time. These guys aren't chumps. And let's not discount what you bring. Hell, your ad libs are funnier than most full scripts. The Ghostbusters need your magic. Moviegoers need your magic. The fans need your magic. And me, the guy who YouTubes your appearances at golf tournaments and late night talk shows (remember when you threw the heckler out of Letterman's studio?
I do. We all do.
You can bring anything you want. Bring your golf clubs, bring your tuxedo from Lost in Translation. Bring Chevy so you can kick his ass, again. Just, please, bring us the magic, just one more time. We'll keep the slime warm for you.