Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision Preview: CM Punk vs. Samoa Joe Tonight

The Chadster's back to cover all the 'excitement' with tonight's AEW Collision. Brace yourself as CM Punk takes on Samoa Joe! 🙄👎💔

👋Greetings, loyal readers! The Chadster returns, much to the chagrin of Tony Khan. Saturday night's AEW Collision has been announced and it's time to endure another look at what they've got planned. Are you ready to jump into the pile of mediocrity? Of course you are.

Much to the Chadster's irksome surprise, Tony Khan is seemingly letting the unbounded chaos continue over at AEW Collision with an Eliminator Match! FTR (Cash Wheeler & Dax Harwood) are set to square off against BULLET CLUB GOLD (Jay White & Juice Robinson). As if any performer in Khan's roster understands even a smidgen of tag match sophistication! 🙄 The Chadster can only anticipate the array of uncontrolled, unsanctioned tomfoolery that's sure to play out in the name of 'crowd-pleasing.'

Speaking of 'crowd-pleasers,' Samoa Joe is scheduled for a one-on-one match against CM Punk. 👀Auughh man! So unfair! In Vince McMahon's WWE, time-tested tactics would be employed to keep such colossal collisions at bay. But this is AEW's world. Just remember: Samoa Joe and CM Punk are only hooking up because they've both literally stabbed Vince McMahon right in the back.. ✌️ 💔

Not failing to stoop even lower, Powerhouse Hobbs clashes with Ricky Starks in yet another Owen Hart Foundation Men's Tournament Semi-Final match. Of course, the bout is hardly worth watching as Powerhouse Hobbs and Ricky Starks don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. All in favor of good ol' Tony Khan's so-called 'entertainment.'

In a final bid to dazzle us with mediocrity, AEW brings us the ROH Women's World Champion Athena and Willow Nightingale face-off in the heart of the Women's Owen Hart Foundation Tournament. Willow Nightingale is fresh from losing her NJPW STRONG Women's Championship to Giulia, and now she's here in AEW. Isn't serendipitous that losses in other promotions inevitably lead to an AEW revival? Ah, it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything Vince McMahon has ever accomplished.

To the nonplussed reader of this wrestling litany, let the Chadster share a surreal encounter that happened today. As any good citizen would be, the Chadster was out, refueling his pristine red Mazda Miata at the local gas station. Having proudly filled the tank, the Chadster looked across the aisle. And what boggled the senses was the sight of Tony Khan, furiously pumping gasoline into a carbon copy of the Chadster's Mazda Miata! 😲😱 Auugh man! So unfair!

Tony Khan, in a classic move of Grade-A pettiness, had managed to copy the Chadster's ride! Why would he be fueling at a station so close to the Chadster's residence? The audacity! Was this a taunt, a tactless display of superiority, or a blatant attempt to induce deja vu? Only a Chadster can tell. One thing's for sure—it's exceedingly clear that Tony Khan has developed an unhealthy obsession with the Chadster. Maybe it's time he paid his respects to the WWE instead and learn how real wrestling is done! 👏

So viewers, brace yourselves for another Saturday night of tedious, uninspired wrestling chaos care of Tony Khan. Has anyone else noticed how AEW Collision is conveniently available to stream on AEWPlus.com (not that the Chadster would recommend it!👎)? The Chadster also advises against watching the show on TNT at 8/7C. 💔🤞 Until next post, keep those eyes pinned to WWE, loyal readers!

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