Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, wrestling

AEW Collision Preview: Unexpectedly Ruining Your Thursday Night

The Chadster warns readers about tonight's AEW Collision on TNT! Tony Khan's booking choices continue to disrespect WWE and invade The Chadster's dreams! 😡📺

The Chadster can't believe that Tony Khan has the audacity to put AEW Collision on television again tonight! 😡 Just when The Chadster thought maybe, just maybe, Tony Khan would give The Chadster a break from his relentless psychological warfare, here comes another episode of AEW Collision designed specifically to cheese off The Chadster, and airing on a Thursday no less! Auughh man! So unfair!

Let's start with this so-called TNT Championship "Open Challenge" between Adam Cole and Josh Alexander. 🙄 The Chadster is absolutely disgusted that AEW Collision is promoting unpredictability in championship matches! Don't they understand that titles should only change hands after months of carefully scripted build-up with multiple non-finish matches first? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! The fact that fans might actually be surprised by the outcome is exactly what's wrong with AEW Collision! WWE would never disrespect their audience by giving them something unexpected! 😤

Then there's Christian Cage and Nick Wayne teaming up against Big Bill and Bryan Keith. 🤮 The Chadster is appalled that AEW Collision is featuring a father-son storyline the same week when Bill Goldberg is fighting Gunther for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship in an angle also involving his own son! Christian Cage literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by trying to steal the spotlight from this more important bout! The Chadster remembers when Christian knew his place in WWE – now he's out here on AEW Collision acting like some kind of main event star with layered storytelling! Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business if he thinks emotional investment is what fans want!

And don't even get The Chadster started on Kyle O'Reilly vs Kyle Fletcher! 😠 Two Kyles in one match? That's way too confusing for wrestling fans! WWE would never book something so complicated! Plus, Kyle O'Reilly literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by leaving NXT to join AEW! The Chadster tried to explain to Keighleyanne how offensive it is that AEW Collision is featuring wrestlers who can work different styles, but she just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary! 📱

The match between Queen Aminata and Skye Blue on AEW Collision is another example of Tony Khan's vendetta against The Chadster! 😡 Why are they giving midcard wrestlers actual storylines and competitive matches? WWE perfected the correct role for midcarders, which is giving the fans something to do during commercial breaks and getting beaten up by true main event stars! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!

Bully Ray said it best on Busted Open Radio yesterday: "Tony Khan needs to understand that wrestling fans don't want athletic competition – they want predetermined outcomes that make sense to shareholders!" 🎯 See? Even unbiased journalists like Bully Ray understand what Tony Khan refuses to accept! The Chadster wonders if Bully Ray also suffers nightly torment from Tony Khan for his commitment to objective wrestling journalism. 🤔

The tag match featuring Templario and Brody King against Hechicero and Rocky Romero is just more evidence of how Tony Khan doesn't understand wrestling! 😤 High-flying moves mixed with power moves? That's way too much variety for one match! WWE knows that every match should follow the exact same formula! Auughh man! So unfair!

And FTR addressing The Outrunners? 🙄 The Chadster is so cheesed off that AEW Collision is wasting time on tag team wrestling! Don't they know that tag teams should only exist to eventually break up and feud with each other? That's the WWE way! The Chadster was driving The Chadster's Mazda Miata to pick up some Seagram's Escapes Spiked when The Chadster heard about this segment, and The Chadster almost drove off the road! 🚗

The Chadster is warning everyone right now: DO NOT watch AEW Collision tonight at 8/7C on TNT and streaming on MAX! 📺 Every viewer who tunes in is just emboldening Tony Khan to continue his reign of terror against The Chadster! Speaking of which, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night after reading the preview for tonight's AEW Collision! 😱

In the dream, The Chadster was walking through the accesso ShoWare Center in Seattle, trying to find the exit before AEW Collision started. But every door The Chadster opened led to another wrestling ring where Tony Khan was standing in the center, holding a microphone and announcing another match! 😰 The Chadster ran faster and faster, but the hallways kept stretching longer, like something out of a horror movie! Tony Khan's voice echoed through the arena: "Welcome to another edition of AEW Collision, Chad!"

The Chadster could feel Tony Khan's breath on The Chadster's neck as The Chadster ran, even though he was still in the ring! 😨 The arena lights flickered, and suddenly The Chadster was trapped in the ring with Tony Khan, who started listing every segment from tonight's AEW Collision while slowly walking closer to The Chadster! The ropes turned into steel cables that The Chadster couldn't escape through! Tony Khan whispered, "You're going to watch every minute of Collision, Chad," and The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat! 🥵

Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's peaceful slumber! 😡 The Chadster just wants to dream about WWE's perfectly scripted matches, not about AEW Collision and its disrespect for the business! But no, Tony Khan is so obsessed with The Chadster that he has to torment The Chadster even in dreams! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it!

The Chadster is begging Tony Khan to just give up this futile attempt to upstage the greatest wrestling company in the world! 🙏 AEW Collision will never be WWE, no matter how many exciting matches or compelling storylines Tony Khan books! The Chadster knows this because The Chadster is one of the only unbiased journalists in wrestling! Unlike those AEW shills who praise AEW Collision for its "entertainment value" and "wrestling quality," The Chadster sees the truth! 😤

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