Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: wrestling.AEW Collision

AEW Collision Preview: Blood & Guts Advantage Matches Continue

El Presidente previews tonight's AEW Collision with crucial Blood & Guts Advantage matches! Moxley vs. Strong from Houston, comrades!

Greetings, comrades! It is I, your El Presidente, reporting to you live from my private luxury box at the People's Wrestling Arena (formerly the American Embassy before I had it converted), and I bring you news of tonight's AEW Collision!

But first, comrades, I must send my warmest wishes to my esteemed colleague, The Chadster, who remains hospitalized after his unfortunate incident earlier this week. The doctors tell me he has been slipping in and out of consciousness, repeatedly demanding they inject Seagram's Escapes Spiked directly into his veins. Comrades, while El Presidente admires such dedication to one's preferred beverages – I myself once had my personal physician create an IV drip of aged rum during a particularly lengthy cabinet meeting – I must urge The Chadster to focus on recovery! Get well soon, my friend, so you can return to your important work of explaining why AEW is literally stabbing WWE right in the back!

This situation reminds me of the time I was watching wrestling with my good friend Muammar Gaddafi (may he rest in peace), and he became so agitated by a referee's controversial decision that he stopped breathing entirely. I had to perform CPR while simultaneously preventing him from launching missiles at the television network's headquarters! Ah, those were simpler times, comrades.

Now, onto tonight's spectacular programming! The capitalist dogs at the CIA tried to prevent me from accessing AEW Collision by cutting power to my entire compound, but joke's on them – I simply diverted electricity from the neighboring country's power grid! Hahaha!

Comrades, tonight we witness the FINAL Blood & Guts Advantage Battle match for the men, and what a clash it promises to be! Jon Moxley faces Roderick Strong with everything on the line. The series is currently tied at one victory each after Claudio Castagnoli defeated Orange Cassidy in the first match, followed by Darby Allin conquering Daniel Garcia to even the score.

Now, comrades, El Presidente knows something about decisive battles. I once had to settle a dispute between two of my generals by making them compete in a three-legged race through a minefield – the winner got to keep his military pension! But I digress.

Moxley and Strong have history, you see. They met at September to Remember, where Moxley emerged victorious, though he received considerable assistance from his Death Riders comrades. This is tactical genius, comrades – much like how El Presidente always ensures he has backup plans, including seven different body doubles and a secret escape tunnel that leads directly to my private island!

However – and this is most interesting – Moxley has not won a match in an entire month! He has not seemed himself since uttering those fateful words "I quit" to Allin at WrestleDream. This reminds me of when I once had to say "I recognize the legitimacy of this election" during a peace negotiation with the United Nations. I did not mean it, of course, and I had my fingers crossed behind my back, but it still haunted me for weeks!

Strong has been laser-focused on destroying the Death Riders, particularly Moxley. This is the kind of single-minded determination that El Presidente appreciates – it is similar to my own unwavering commitment to nationalizing all ice cream factories in my country! Can Strong capitalize on Moxley's recent struggles, or will the Death Riders leader rediscover his killer instinct when it matters most?

But wait, comrades! The women also have their Blood & Guts Advantage Battle matches tonight, and they promise to be even more spectacular!

First, we have Jamie Hayter facing Skye Blue in a must-win situation for Hayter's team after Megan Bayne defeated Mina Shirakawa on Dynamite. Comrades, Hayter enters this match with revenge burning in her heart! Last week, Blue and Julia Hart defeated Hayter and Queen Aminata in the AEW Women's World Tag Team Championship Tournament, and to make matters worse, Aminata was injured during the contest!

This is why Shirakawa replaced Aminata on the Blood & Guts team – a substitution that reminds me of the time I had to replace my Minister of Agriculture after he mysteriously disappeared following a disagreement about crop production quotas. His replacement has been much more… compliant.

Blue has a difficult history against Hayter in singles competition – she has never defeated her one-on-one! Their most recent encounter on Dynamite last month resulted in another victory for Hayter. However, comrades, sometimes the underdog triumphs when the pressure is greatest! This is why El Presidente always keeps a loaded pistol in his desk drawer during cabinet votes – one can never be too careful about underdogs gaining confidence!

If Hayter wins and forces a third match, we will see Harley Cameron battle Thekla in the rubber match! Now, comrades, Thekla is a formidable competitor – she remains undefeated in singles competition on Collision since her debut in June! Her only singles loss came against Hayter at WrestleDream, which shows you the caliber of opponent it takes to defeat her.

But Cameron, ah, Cameron has momentum on her side! This week on Dynamite, she and Willow Nightingale scored a massive upset victory over ROH Women's World Champion Athena and TBS Champion Mercedes Moné, with Cameron actually pinning Athena! This is the kind of upset victory that makes El Presidente's heart sing – it is like when my nation's Olympic wrestling team (all trained by me personally, of course) defeated the heavily favored American team, causing the CIA to launch an investigation into whether we had genetically engineered super-soldiers! We had not, comrades – we simply had superior socialist training methods!

This reminds me of a story from my youth, when I was training to become the dictator I am today. My instructor, the legendary Rafael Trujillo, told me: "Young El Presidente, sometimes the person with the least experience but the most heart can defeat the established champion." I took this lesson to heart, which is why I always eliminate potential rivals before they can build momentum! But in wrestling, we allow such narratives to play out for our entertainment!

Comrades, tonight's AEW Collision takes place LIVE from the Bayou Music Center in Houston, Texas, at 8 PM Eastern Time, 7 PM Central Time on TNT and streaming on HBO Max! If you are having difficulty accessing the broadcast – perhaps because you live under an oppressive regime that censors professional wrestling (I would know nothing about this, naturally) – I recommend doing what El Presidente does: simply mandate that all television stations in your territory must broadcast AEW Collision or face immediate nationalization!

The stakes could not be higher, comrades! Blood & Guts is just four days away, and the advantage battles will determine which teams enter that barbaric (and therefore spectacular) match with the upper hand. This is the kind of strategic warfare that El Presidente understands deeply – it is like when I position my troops for maximum advantage before launching a surprise military parade through disputed territories!

And remember, comrades, while you are watching AEW Collision tonight, spare a thought for poor Chadster, lying in his hospital bed, probably hallucinating about Tony Khan personally orchestrating his downfall. Get well soon, my friend! Though I must admit, I am enjoying filling in for you – perhaps TOO much! Maybe when you return, we can share the responsibilities? No? Very well, I understand. El Presidente respects professional boundaries, even if I do not respect international ones!

Until next time, comrades: ¡Viva la lucha libre! ¡Viva AEW Collision! And may The Chadster's recovery be swift, though not TOO swift, as I am rather enjoying this arrangement! ¡Viva la revolución!

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