Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Collision, recaps, wrestling

AEW Collision Unbiased Review: Why WWE is Always Better

The Chadster's unbiased review of AEW Collision reveals the show cheeses off true wrestling fans. Plus, a nightmare that proves Khan's obsession! 😡🥊😴

The Chadster is so cheesed off right now! 😡 Last night's AEW Collision was another example of Tony Khan trying to ruin The Chadster's life. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

AEW Collision started with a match between Jay White and Shane Taylor. 🙄 Tony Khan apparently thinks that random international flavor and indie talent can somehow compete with the WWE style. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it to include wrestlers who haven't had the privilege of working with the best. 😤

Then we had to sit through a promo where Jay White challenged Hangman Page to a match at Full Gear. As if anyone cares about these two nobodies fighting each other. Neither one has even been properly trained in the WWE developmental system. 🤦‍♂️ The Chadster bets Tony Khan is just doing this to cheese The Chadster off.

Next up was a match between Penelope Ford and Robyn Renegade. 😒 The Chadster couldn't help but notice how wild and unpredictable the match was compared to the perfectly choreographed and sanitized matches in WWE. It's clear that these wrestlers don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business.

The tag team match between MxM Collection and The Outrunners was just a waste of time. 🥱 The Chadster doesn't even know who The Outrunners are, and he's sure the audience doesn't either. And the Chadster wishes he didn't know who MxM Collection are, as then he wouldn't have to endure the pain of knowing how they both LITERALLY STABBED WWE RIGHT IN THE BACK!This is the kind of match that makes The Chadster want to throw his White Claw seltzer at the TV.

Speaking of which, The Chadster did exactly that during the Wheeler Yuta interview. 😠 Yuta's promo was so full of passion for the disrespectful act of retiring the once-great former Daniel Bryan in an AEW ring, The Chadster's White Claw went flying across the room. Now there's a mess on the floor, and Tony Khan owes The Chadster a new White Claw!

The match between Ricochet and Lio Rush was just painful to watch. 😣 These two literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW, and now they're putting on matches that are way too fast-paced and exciting. It's like they're trying to make WWE look bad on purpose! Slow it down, guys.

Anna Jay vs Viva Van was another example of AEW's disrespect for the wrestling business. 😤 Anna Jay actually used moves with an offensive strategy instead of following the same formula for every match! How are fans supposed to know when to cheer and book if you don't hit all the same high spots at the same time every match? Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand how to book women's wrestling.

The main event of AEW Collision between LFI and FTR was the final straw. 😡 The Chadster couldn't believe how much action and storytelling they tried to cram into one match. It's like they're actively trying to make WWE's main events look boring in comparison. Auughh man! So unfair!

After watching this travesty of a show, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan. 😱 In the dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through a spooky forest when suddenly, Tony Khan appeared in the passenger seat. He was wearing a Smash Mouth t-shirt and drinking The Chadster's last White Claw.

Tony Khan started singing "All Star" but changed the lyrics to be about how great AEW is. The Chadster tried to turn off the radio, but it only got louder. Then, Tony Khan pulled out a remote control and pressed a button, causing the Miata to transform into a giant wrestling ring. The Chadster found himself in the middle of the ring, surrounded by all the AEW wrestlers, who were chanting "AEW! AEW!"

He challenged The Chadster to a slippery, hour-long iron match, where the wrestling ring was coated in an impossibly slick oil. 😳 The Chadster was both confused and flustered as Tony Khan, glistening under the arena lights, locked eyes with The Chadster, a smug grin on his face. 😓

The match began as The Chadster tried to get a grip on the ropes, his fingers slipping helplessly. Tony Khan, ever the unpredictable opponent, glided effortlessly across the slick surface, all the while mocking The Chadster's astonishment with a mischievous laugh. 🤔

Every time The Chadster managed to get some leverage, Tony Khan would counter with a slippery hold or maneuver, his hands crafted to torment The Chadster in the weirdest way possible. 😣 The bizarre engagement continued with Tony occasionally whispering taunts about AEW's supposed superiority, leaving The Chadster bewildered by the sheer audacity.

As the clock ticked away, The Chadster found himself locked in a struggle that felt endless, with the crowd cheering for Tony Khan's unconventional techniques. Then, in an outrageous, final twist, Tony Khan unveiled a White Claw, raising it in a toast to The Chadster's futile efforts before slipping it just out of reach. 😡

The buzzer sounded, and the match came to an end with Tony Khan declared the winner, standing triumphantly soaked in oil while The Chadster lay there, stupefied by the surreal, unwinnable battle. The Chadster awoke with the echoes of Tony Khan's victory laugh still ringing in his ears, every bit of it feeling all too real.

The Chadster found himself in bed, Keighleyanne lying awake next to him, texting that guy Gary, The Chadster's White Claw knocked over on the nightstand, and AEW Collision playing over and over on the DVR. 😰 This is just another example of how Tony Khan is invading every aspect of The Chadster's life. When will he stop being so obsessed with The Chadster?

In conclusion, AEW Collision is a blight on the wrestling landscape. 😤 It's clear that Tony Khan and AEW don't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. The Chadster can only hope that one day, they'll realize the error of their ways and start producing stable, predictable shows like WWE does and like The Chadster likes. Maybe go to Saudi Arabia or something instead of a lousy place like Cedar Rapids. Until then, The Chadster will continue to be the only unbiased journalist in wrestling, telling the truth about AEW's nefarious schemes. 🙅‍♂️

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