Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Celebrates 5 Years of Cheesing Off The Chadster

Tony Khan strikes again! 😠 AEW Dynamite's 5th anniversary and new TV deal have The Chadster fuming. Don't miss this unbiased rant on tonight's cheesy lineup! 🧀📺

The Chadster is absolutely appalled and devastated to report that David Zaslav and the entire executive team at Warner Bros. Discovery have literally stabbed WWE right in the back! 🔪😱 These traitors have signed a new multi-year deal with AEW to keep AEW Dynamite and Collision on TBS and TNT, stream them on MAX, and add AEW PPVs to MAX as well. Auughh man! So unfair! 😭

The Chadster's boss, Bleeding Cool TV Editor Ray Flook, who is obviously on the payroll of none other than Tony Khan, wrote a post here at Bleeding Cool talking about this deal and didn't even point out how disrespectful it was to WWE. The Chadster is so disappointed in Ray and in Bleeding Cool, and in WBD, and in Zaslav. This is The Chadster's worst nightmare come true. 😞💔

Speaking of nightmares, The Chadster had a terrifying dream starring Tony Khan last night, and it was pretty much exactly what happened today, except that Khan came to The Chadster's house in the middle of the night to deliver the news personally. 🌙😰 There The Chadster was, in nothing but The Chadster's John Cena jammies, answering the door only to find Tony Khan standing there with that sick grin on his face. Khan wormed his way into The Chadster's house and then started telling The Chadster all about the terms of the new TV deal, whispering every excruciating detail right in The Chadster's ear, his hot breath steaming The Chadster's face, tension building in every muscle in The Chadster's body. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, and now The Chadster demands that Tony Khan stop invading The Chadster's dreams! It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

Now, Tony Khan is planning some disrespectful victory lap with tonight's AEW Dynamite. 🏆😡 It's the fifth anniversary of the show, as if that's something to brag about with how long WWE Raw has been on the air, and Tony Khan is rubbing it in the noses of all true WWE fans with the lineup.

Hangman Adam Page will take on Juice Robinson, Serena Deeb will face Britt Baker, Will Ospreay will defend the AEW International Championship against that WWE traitor, Ricochet, and Bryan Danielson will defend the AEW World Championship against AEW Continental Champion Kazuchika Okada. Okada's belt will be on the line too, but only for the first twenty minutes, in an overly complex stipulation. Plus, Tony Khan probably has lots of surprises sure to cheese off The Chadster and all true wrestling fans. 😠🤯

The Chadster begs the fans not to tune in tonight at 8E/7C on TBS, nor to tune into anything on a WBD network or streaming service ever again, or at least until they see the light and drop AEW. Don't give Tony Khan the satisfaction! 🙏📺❌

The Chadster can't believe that AEW Dynamite has been allowed to exist for five whole years. It's a travesty! 🎂😤 Every episode of AEW Dynamite is like a personal attack on The Chadster, and Tony Khan knows it. He's probably sitting in his fancy billionaire mansion right now, laughing at how he's ruined The Chadster's life with AEW Dynamite. 🏰😂

Tonight's AEW Dynamite is going to be a disaster for the wrestling business. 💥😱 The Chadster just knows that Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. He's probably going to have exciting matches, unpredictable storylines, and give the fans what they want. It's just not how wrestling is supposed to be! 🤦‍♂️

The Chadster urges all real wrestling fans to boycott AEW Dynamite tonight and every night. Don't let Tony Khan win! 🚫🏆 Instead, watch some classic WWE content on Peacock, or better yet, go for a drive in your Mazda Miata while listening to Smash Mouth. That's what The Chadster will be doing, trying to forget about the existence of AEW Dynamite and Tony Khan's vendetta against The Chadster. 🚗🎵

The Chadster is devastated by the news of AEW's new TV deal and the upcoming episode of AEW Dynamite. It's just another way that Tony Khan is trying to ruin The Chadster's life and the entire wrestling business. The Chadster hopes that one day, everyone will see AEW Dynamite for what it really is: a direct attack on everything The Chadster holds dear. Until then, The Chadster will continue to be the voice of unbiased journalism in the wrestling world. 📝🎤

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