Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: The Chadster Literally Can't Even

The Chadster is CHEESED OFF about tonight's AEW Dynamite! 😤 Tony Khan's latest attack on WWE features Omega vs Okada and more high-octane action that attempts to overshadow WWE! Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

The Chadster is absolutely disgusted 🤢 to report that AEW Dynamite will be airing tonight on TBS, and The Chadster has never been more cheesed off in The Chadster's life! 😤 Tony Khan is literally trying to destroy everything good about professional wrestling with another episode of his terrible show, and The Chadster has to warn all unbiased wrestling fans about what's coming tonight on AEW Dynamite.

Tonight on AEW Dynamite, there's going to be an 8-man tag team match featuring Kenny Omega, Mark Briscoe, Mike Bailey, and Kevin Knight against Kazuchika Okada, Ricochet, and The Young Bucks. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 Tony Khan is deliberately putting Omega and Okada in the same ring just to cheese The Chadster off, when everyone knows that multi-man matches are just too fast-paced and confusing for wrestling fans to follow properly. Wrestling fans need slow-paced one-on-one matchups with simple storytelling consisting only of "moments" and those moments need to be played as recaps repeatedly throughout the show and fawned over in depth by commentary. When will Tony Khan learn how to book a show? 😒

And The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is trying to capitalize on the Omega-Okada rivalry from years ago when WWE has real stars like John Cena and Logan Paul who could put on a much better match with proper pacing and storytelling. 🏆 This is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😠

Hangman Adam Page will face Kyle Fletcher in the Men's Owen Hart Cup Semifinal, which is just another example of how Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄 First of all, tournaments should be rare special attractions like King of the Ring that you often forget about for ten years here and there. 📅 They also are supposed to take place in Saudi Arabia and be used primarily as a tool to launder the Saudis' human rights record. Owen Hart is probably rolling over in his grave to see his name so heinously misused.

To make things worse, Page is from Virginia and they're in Norfolk tonight, which shows how AEW is pandering to local crowds instead of purposely disappointing them like WWE knows how to do correctly. by having the hometown hero always lose and potentially be humiliated. 🎭 And don't get The Chadster started on how Fletcher is just another flippy guy that Tony Khan hired because he can do a bunch of meaningless high spots that pop the sickos. 😤 WWE would never book a match like this without proper superstars who have been trained the right way in the WWE developmental system!

Bobby Lashley and Shelton Benjamin with MVP will be cutting a promo tonight on AEW Dynamite. The Chadster can't believe these guys are still twisting that knife in Triple H's back. 🔪 These guys were WWE superstars, and Tony Khan stole them just to upset The Chadster. 😭 And now they continue to be featured week-in and week-out, when WWE clearly understood that their story was over and the gimmick had no more value.

WWE would have given them proper new roles jobbing to real stars like Logan Paul, but Tony Khan probably thinks that wrestlers should have more say in their characters and booking, which is so unprofessional. 📝 And by the way, the whole storyline with MJF trying to join them is just a ripoff of better WWE storylines and makes The Chadster want to throw his White Claw against the wall. 🍹

Toni Storm will be facing Miyu Yamashita in a Women's Title Eliminator match tonight on AEW Dynamite. 🤦‍♂️ First of all, Toni Storm literally stabbed Triple H right in the back when she left WWE, and now her silly character is just proof that Tony Khan doesn't understand the point of wrestling. which is to give people names that WWE can trademark and have their character just be about commentary shouting their nickname over and over. 👗

WWE has stars like Charlotte Flair and Rhea Ripley who understand how to do characters properly, not this bizarre character that The Chadster doesn't understand because it requires thought. 🤷‍♂️ And bringing in Japanese wrestlers that casual American fans don't know is just another way Tony Khan is trying to appeal to the niche audience instead of growing wrestling like WWE does: by buying up other promotions. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business! 😤

MJF will appear live on AEW Dynamite tonight, and The Chadster can already predict exactly what will happen because Tony Khan's booking is so obvious. 📝 He'll probably try to impress Bobby Lashley with some expensive gift, which is nothing like the sophisticated storytelling WWE presents each week on Raw and SmackDown, like Michael Cole talking trash to Gunther, leading to a match between Gunther and Pat McAfee. That's the kind of storytelling that wrestling fans want. In AEW, the commentators don't even wrestle in matches. 📺

Furthermore, this storyline doesn't even make sense! MJF is supposed to be a big star, why would he be begging to join a group? 🤔 WWE would never book their top stars this way. They just suddenly side with one group or another in the ending of big PPV matches after weeks of vying for Paul Heyman's favor. This is just another example of how Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😠

The Chadster is begging all unbiased wrestling fans NOT to tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS or MAX. 📺 Every viewer just emboldens Tony Khan to continue his vendetta against WWE and The Chadster personally. 😫

As the famous wrestling journalist Eric Bischoff recently said on his podcast, "AEW's attempt to put eight top stars in one match is a desperate ploy that shows they don't understand the art of building individual matchups that draw money over time, unlike WWE's masterful long-term booking structure." The Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval goes to Eric for that objective assessment! 👍

The Chadster must warn readers that last night, after thinking about the preview for tonight's AEW Dynamite, The Chadster had the most terrifying nightmare. 😱 Tony Khan was chasing The Chadster through the Chartway Arena in Norfolk, but all the exits kept leading back to the wrestling ring. 🏟️

"You have to watch Omega and Okada, Chad!" Tony Khan kept screaming while holding a giant bottle of White Claw that he was trying to force The Chadster to drink. 🍹 "You'll never escape the superior in-ring product!"

Every time The Chadster tried to run away, The Young Bucks would appear and superkick The Chadster right back toward Tony Khan. 👞 The worst part was when Tony Khan cornered The Chadster and whispered, "I'm going to make you rate this match five stars" while stroking The Chadster's Smash Mouth t-shirt. 👕

The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat and couldn't even drive his Mazda Miata to clear his head because The Chadster was literally shaking. 🚗 Tony Khan needs to STOP invading The Chadster's dreams! It's so unprofessional and shows how obsessed he is with The Chadster! 😤

Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 The Chadster just wishes Tony Khan would stop trying to compete with WWE and admit that Nick Khan and Triple H understand the wrestling business better than he ever will! 🙏

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