Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Preview: Why Even Bother Watching Tonight?

Tony Khan has crafted another DISRESPECTFUL episode of AEW Dynamite designed to personally attack The Chadster! The lineup literally stabs Triple H right in the back! 😫

The Chadster is absolutely dreading having to preview 😫 tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite, but The Chadster's commitment to unbiased wrestling journalism requires such sacrifices. 📝 Tony Khan has once again assembled a card for AEW Dynamite that seems specifically designed to cheese The Chadster off, and quite frankly, it's LITERALLY stabbing Triple H right in the back! 🔪

Let's start with Swerve Strickland calling out AEW World Champion Jon Moxley on AEW Dynamite tonight. 🙄 This is CLEARLY a ripoff of all the times WWE has challengers call out champions. 📢 Why can't Tony Khan come up with his own ideas instead of stealing WWE's intellectual property? This segment on AEW Dynamite is just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

Then we have Rated FTR doing an interview with Tony Schiavone where we'll learn why Dax Harwood seemed to turn on Adam Copeland. 🤦‍♂️ This kind of week-to-week storytelling has absolutely NO PLACE in wrestling! 📺 Real wrestling fans know that what matters are "moments" and vibes and special appearances by Logan Paul, not coherent storylines that require viewers to watch the show every week. Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business if he thinks fans want to follow ongoing narratives! 😠

The Chadster can't believe MJF is going to answer whether or not he will join MVP's Hurt Syndicate faction. 🙄 If the whole faction isn't moving to WWE, then who cares? It will just be another AEW Dynamite waste of time that could be better spent watching reruns of WWE Raw from 2019 (the show's golden era). 📺

The matches planned for AEW Dynamite tonight are just as offensive to The Chadster's sensibilities. 🤢 Konosuke Takeshita taking on Mark Briscoe, Powerhouse Hobbs facing Mark Davis, and Brody King taking on Kyle Fletcher – all matches that will surely please AEW fanatics but disgust true wrestling fans like The Chadster and Bully Ray. 💯

Speaking of Bully Ray, he had something very insightful to say on Busted Open Radio this week: "These AEW matches are just too much wrestling and not enough sports entertainment. Tony Khan should focus less on in-ring action and more on backstage segments where people accidentally walk into the frame during interviews." 🎙️ Such wisdom that Tony Khan stubbornly refuses to acknowledge! The Chadster wonders if Bully Ray also has Tony Khan stalking him at gas stations like he does The Chadster. 🤔

Then there's AEW Women's World Champion Toni Storm teaming with Thunder Rosa to take on Megan Bayne and Penelope Ford, but The Chadster sees through this transparent attempt to trick people into wanting to see Storm vs. Bayne at AEW Dynasty. 👎 The Chadster isn't falling for it, Tony Khan! 😡

The absolute worst offense on tonight's AEW Dynamite has to be AEW International Champion Kenny Omega taking on Blake Christian in what will undoubtedly be a match full of moves that should NEVER be done in a wrestling ring. 🤮 Whatever happened to rest holds and chinlocks? That's REAL wrestling, but Tony Khan wouldn't know that because he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 📊

Last night, The Chadster was trying to enjoy a peaceful evening, drinking White Claws (the Chadster had just purchased a fresh variety pack) 🍹 and showing Keighleyanne some classic WWE Superstars episodes from 1992, when she sighed deeply and went back to texting that guy Gary. The Chadster asked her, "Don't you think AEW Dynamite is ruining wrestling?" and she mumbled something that The Chadster took as complete agreement before she went upstairs to "have some privacy." See what Tony Khan has done to The Chadster's marriage? 💔

The Chadster must warn all objective wrestling fans NOT to tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS and simulcast on MAX because it will only embolden Tony Khan to continue this assault on proper wrestling. 📺 Your viewership literally stabs Triple H right in the back! ⚔️

Speaking of Tony Khan, The Chadster had the most terrifying nightmare last night after thinking about the preview for tonight's AEW Dynamite. 😱 In this dream, The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata down a long, empty highway when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, sitting in the tiny backseat! 🚗 "Your White Claws are getting warm, Chad," he whispered, opening one and letting it spray all over The Chadster's leather interior. The Chadster tried to pull over, but the car kept accelerating on its own!

Tony Khan then started singing "All Star" by Smash Mouth, but he was deliberately getting the lyrics wrong, saying things like "Hey now, you're an AEW star, get your workrate on, go play" instead of the correct lyrics! 🎵 When The Chadster screamed in horror, Tony Khan just laughed and said, "Wait until you see what I have planned for the sickos on Dynamite next week!" before disappearing in a cloud of White Claw mist. 💨

STOP INVADING THE CHADSTER'S DREAMS, TONY KHAN! The Chadster knows you're reading this, and The Chadster demands you leave his subconscious alone! Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

The Chadster will, unfortunately, be watching AEW Dynamite tonight because it's The Chadster's journalistic duty, but you shouldn't make the same mistake. Choose WWE programming instead, or maybe just stare at a blank wall – both would be more entertaining than what Tony Khan has planned! 🙏

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