Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, wrestling
AEW Dynamite Preview: Will Tony Khan Make the Naughty List This Year?
Don't watch AEW Dynamite: Holiday Bash! Tony Khan's latest attempt to ruin wrestling (and The Chadster's life) is more naughty than nice! 😤🎄
Article Summary
- The Chadster criticizes AEW's Holiday Bash for disrespecting WWE traditions.
- The Chadster warns fans to avoid AEW's Dynamite card and Tony Khan's antics.
- The Chadster claims Tony Khan's booking ruins holiday cheer and WWE's plans.
- Tony Khan's AEW matches annoy The Chadster as Khan himself invades The Chadster's dreams.
The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off about tonight's episode of AEW Dynamite! 😡😤 Auughh man! So unfair! Tony Khan is once again trying to ruin The Chadster's life with this ridiculous card for AEW Dynamite: Holiday Bash 2024. It's just so disrespectful to the tradition of holiday-themed episodes and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🙄💔
Let's start with this TBS Championship match between Mercedes Moné and Anna Jay. 🏆 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is still pushing Mercedes after she literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW. And Anna Jay? Please. She doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business if she thinks she can compete with a real star who used to be in WWE. This match is clearly just Tony Khan's way of trying to put a lump of coal in WWE's stocking, and The Chadster won't stand for it. 😤👎
Moving on to the Continental Classic matches, The Chadster is appalled that Will Ospreay and Darby Allin are facing each other in the Gold League. 🤼♂️ These two clearly don't understand the wrestling business at all. They're going to do a bunch of flippy moves and high spots that completely disregard the tradition and psychology of professional wrestling. It's like they're trying to cheese off The Chadster on purpose, which is something a grinch would do! 😠🧀
And don't even get The Chadster started on the Blue League match between Shelton Benjamin and The Beast Mortos. Shelton literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by joining AEW, and The Chadster can't forgive him for that. As for The Beast Mortos, The Chadster doesn't understand what a beast has to do with the holidays, which just proves how irrelevant AEW really is. They could have gone with a reindeer or something, but Tony Khan doesn't understand the first thing about the holidays, obiously. 🤷♂️😒
The trios match with The Death Riders against Orange Cassidy, Jay White, and Hangman Page is just another example of Tony Khan trying to create fast-paced action and excitement. 😑 Doesn't he know that wrestling should be predictable and formulaic? That's what real wrestling fans want under their trees this year, not this unpredictable nonsense. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and the holiday spirit. 😤💔
And don't even get The Chadster started on the tag team match between The Patriarchy and HOOK & Katsuyori Shibata. 🙄 The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is still pushing HOOK, who clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. And pairing him with Shibata? It's like Tony Khan is trying to create some kind of "dream match" scenario. Newsflash, Tony: real wrestling fans don't want dream matches! They want the same matches over and over again, just like WWE gives us, gift-wrapped like the perfect, predictable presents. 😤👎
The Chadster is warning all the readers out there: do NOT tune into AEW Dynamite tonight at 8/7C on TBS. 🚫📺 If you do, you'll only be emboldening Tony Khan and his quest to ruin The Chadster's life. Speaking of which, The Chadster had another terrible nightmare starring Tony Khan last night, and it was inspired by the preview of tonight's episode of AEW Rampage. 😱💤
In the dream, The Chadster was innocently baking gingerbread cookies in a cozy winter cabin. 🎄🍪 Suddenly, Tony Khan emerged from the chimney, dressed in a tacky elf costume, jingling a bunch of keys instead of sleigh bells. 🏠🔔 He pursued The Chadster around the cabin, attempting to unlock a magical playbook that would spoil all of WWE's holiday plans. 🚪📜 Every time The Chadster thought he had hidden the playbook safely, Tony Khan would appear on a couch, reading from it aloud and cackling with merry mischief. 📖😰
The worst part was when Tony Khan transformed into a life-sized gingerbread man and tried to splash The Chadster with hot cocoa. 🍫💦 The Chadster awoke in a cold sweat, hugging his Smash Mouth holiday album for solace. It's crystal clear that Tony Khan is invading The Chadster's dreams with his holiday-themed shenanigans, and The Chadster insists he stop being so fixated! 😤🛑
In conclusion, The Chadster implores you all to avoid AEW Dynamite tonight and instead watch some good, wholesome WWE programming. Don't let Tony Khan win! The Chadster's marriage, sexual potency, and holiday dreams depend on it! 💔😢
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