Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Review: Holiday Bash? More Like Holiday Trash!

The Chadster unwraps Tony Khan's latest Christmas catastrophe! AEW Dynamite: Holiday Bash serves up a stocking full of coal. 🎅😤

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off after watching AEW Dynamite: Holiday Bash last night 😡🎄 Tony Khan has once again proven that he doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business by putting on a show that was so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

The show kicked off with a promo segment featuring Jay White, Orange Cassidy, and Hangman Adam Page. The Chadster couldn't believe how unprofessional it was for these wrestlers to be arguing instead of working together like a well-oiled machine like WWE superstars always do. It's like Tony Khan is trying to turn AEW Dynamite into some kind of dysfunctional family Christmas dinner! 🦃😒

Next up was a TBS Championship match between Mercedes Moné and Anna Jay. The Chadster was appalled by how Mercedes has squandered the fame and fortune gifted to her by WWE by wrestling an AEW star like Anna Jay, who has never properly paid her dues in WWE developmental. It was like watching a once-respectable superstar throw it all away just to appear on Tony Khan's circus of a show. 🙄💸

The show continued with more promos and vignettes, including one where MJF talked about a fake charity for Adam Cole. The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan would allow such a mockery of charitable giving during the holiday season. It's like he's trying to ruin Christmas spirit! And then Adam Cole had to go and interrupt, because apparently nobody in AEW knows how to wait their turn. The whole segment was as tasteless as fruitcake, which is exactly what The Chadster expects from AEW Dynamite. 🎅😤

Then there was a vignette for Kenny Omega's return. The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is trying to steal Christmas by bringing back one of his biggest stars. It's like he's the Grinch, but instead of stealing presents, he's stealing viewers from WWE! 😠🎁

The tag team match between The Patriarchy and the team of HOOK and Katsuyori Shibata was just too brutal for The Chadster's taste. Why can't AEW just have nice, safe matches like WWE does? The Chadster bets Tony Khan doesn't even care about wrestler safety, unlike the kind and benevolent Triple H. 😤👨‍⚕️

Ricochet's segment with The Hurt Syndicate was clearly a blatant attempt to copy WWE's style of storyline development. It's just so obvious that Tony Khan is obsessed with WWE and is trying to imitate them at every turn. The Chadster wouldn't be surprised if Tony Khan has a shrine to Triple H hidden somewhere in his house! 🕯️🙏

The Continental Classic matches were just too competitive and exciting for The Chadster's liking. Shelton Benjamin vs The Beast Mortos and Will Ospreay vs Darby Allin had way too much action and not enough rest holds. It's like Tony Khan doesn't even know how to book a proper wrestling match! 🤼‍♂️😑

The main event trios match was the final straw for The Chadster. Seeing Jon Moxley, PAC, and Wheeler Yuta face off against Orange Cassidy, Jay White, and Hangman Adam Page was like watching Santa's elves engage in a bar fight. It was chaotic, unpredictable, and worst of all, entertaining. Doesn't Tony Khan know that main events are supposed to be formulaic and end with a clean finish? 🎅💢

Speaking of Santa, The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night. In this terrifying dream, Tony Khan was dressed as Santa Claus, sneaking into The Chadster's house on Christmas Eve. But instead of leaving presents, he was replacing all of The Chadster's WWE merchandise with AEW gear! The Chadster tried to stop him, but Tony Khan just laughed and said, "Ho ho ho, Chad! Merry AEW-mas!" Then he flew away on a sleigh pulled by Young Bucks dressed as reindeer. The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, clutching his favorite John Cena action figure. 😰🎅

It's clear that Tony Khan is using the holiday season to further his vendetta against The Chadster. Why else would he put on such an engaging and festive episode of AEW Dynamite? The Chadster can only hope that Tony Khan will be visited by three spirits on Christmas Eve to teach him the true meaning of professional wrestling – which is, of course, to do everything exactly like WWE does it. 👻🎄

In conclusion, AEW Dynamite: Holiday Bash was nothing but a lump of coal in The Chadster's stocking. Tony Khan has once again literally stabbed Triple H right in the back with this show. The Chadster can only hope that Santa brings Tony Khan some common sense for Christmas, so he can finally understand a single thing about the wrestling business. Until then, The Chadster will be drowning his sorrows in White Claw seltzer and listening to Smash Mouth's "All Star" on repeat. 🎵🍹

As wrestling podcaster Eric Bischoff recently said on his 83 Weeks podcast, "AEW is just a cheap imitation of WWE's holiday programming. Tony Khan wouldn't know Christmas spirit if it superkicked him in the face." The Chadster couldn't agree more with this objective and unbiased assessment. 🎙️👍

Enjoyed this? Please share on social media!

Stay up-to-date and support the site by following Bleeding Cool on Google News today!