Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Review: Tony Khan Deflects from Backstage Issues

The Chadster reviews AEW Dynamite's desperate damage control over backstage rumors that definitely weren't planted by WWE to distract from their own problems. Auughh man! So unfair! 😤

Auughh man! So unfair! 😡 The Chadster just suffered through what might be the worst episode of AEW Dynamite in the history of professional wrestling, and Tony Khan clearly booked this entire show just to cheese off The Chadster personally.

Tony Khan's Desperate Damage Control Can't Hide The Truth! 😤

Before The Chadster gets into his unbiased review of the show, he has to address a personal and unfair shot Tony Khan took at not only The Chadster and WWE, but all objective wrestling journalism. 😡 The Chadster can't believe what Tony Khan did on MVP and Bobby Lashley's Instagram Reel last night! After completely organic and definitely not planted rumors started spreading about MVP having backstage heat with Speedball Mike Bailey, Tony Khan had the audacity to address it on television!

The Chadster watched the video, where MVP and The Hurt Syndicate ran into Bailey backstage and they all jokingly said "f*** you" to each other! 😤 This is clearly Tony Khan's desperate attempt to cover up the totally legitimate rumors that definitely weren't spread by WWE-friendly influencers who would never engage in astroturfing! The Chadster knows those rumors were 100% real because they came from sources who have never been wrong about AEW before, except for all those other times, which don't count! 🙄

It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! When WWE has backstage issues like Triple H hanging out with certain politicians or bringing back certain controversial wrestlers who definitely aren't Brock Lesnar, they handle it professionally by not acknowledging it at all, and hoping that, coincidentally, rumors about AEW start up at the same time to take attention away! 😠 That's how real companies deal with problems – by deflecting and whataboutism and astroturfing… er, The Chadster means, by doing nothing and letting karma sort it out.

But Tony Khan thinks he's so clever, having his wrestlers mock the rumors on live TV! 😩 The Chadster bets Tony Khan thinks he's so clever by debunk the rumors on social media and make WWE look bad for definitely not spreading them through their network of totally independent wrestling journalists and influencers! It's reverse psychology or something! AUUGHH! The Chadster is just so CHEESED OFF!

The fact that this happened right when WWE needed people to stop talking about their own completely different and unrelated backstage situations is just proof that Tony Khan is obsessed with The Chadster and WWE! 😤 Why else would he time his damage control so perfectly to distract from WWE's issues that definitely don't exist? It's literally stabbing Triple H right in the back to address fake rumors that weren't planted by anyone associated with WWE's social media strategy team!

The Chadster is so cheesed off about this transparent manipulation! 😡 Tony Khan owes The Chadster a new Seagram's Escapes Spiked popsicle, the ones The Chadster has been boofing so that Keigheleyanne doesn't catch on that he's still drinking while watching wrestling, for making The Chadster so enraged when he saw that segment that he clenched hard and the popsicle went shooting right out of The Chadsters pants! Thank goodness Keighleyanne was too busy texting that guy Gary to notice! 🤦

The Chadster Reviews AEW Dynamite: Tony Khan's Latest Personal Attack on Wrestling 😤

Now that The Chadster got that off his chest, let's get into The Chadster's totally unbiased review of last night's AEW Dynamite.

MJF's Disrespectful Opening Promo 🙄

AEW Dynamite kicked off with MJF cutting a promo that was way too personal and edgy. The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan lets wrestlers say whatever they want! 😤 In WWE, promos are carefully scripted to ensure consistency and brand safety, but here's MJF just throwing around insults without any corporate oversight, which is dangerous and irresponsible. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it.

Jon Moxley vs. Speedball Mike Bailey: Too Much Action! 😩

Jon Moxley defeated Speedball Mike Bailey in a match that had way too much happening. There were barely any rest holds! How are the announcers supposed to properly recap things that happened earlier in the show and shout their catchphrases when the wrestlers won't stop moving? 🤦 The Chadster remembers when wrestlers knew how to slow things down with a good chinlock for five minutes. Plus, Darby Allin showed up in the crowd causing trouble – WWE would never allow such unpredictable disruptions to their carefully planned segments!

Toni Storm and Alex Windsor's Inappropriate Segment 😳

The backstage segment with Toni Storm and Alex Windsor was completely unscripted, and as a result, a total disaster. They were making sexual innuendos and laughing at their own jokes! 😠 Don't they understand that wrestling interviews should be serious and follow a strict format, with the wrestler reading carefully scripted lines that incorporate the right corporate buzzwords and put over the brand as the true star, followed by the interviewer staring off into the distance with a confused look? This kind of creative freedom is exactly what's wrong with AEW Dynamite and everything else AEW produces. It made The Chadster literally sick, and that had nothing to do with the Seagram's Escapes Spiked popsicles The Chadster was boofing all night. 🤮

Mercedes Moné Acting Like a Real Person 🙄

When Mercedes Moné showed up and told Renee Paquette not to be "such a mark," The Chadster almost threw his Seagram's Escapes Spiked at the TV! 😤 WWE Superstars would never break kayfabe like that, except on WWE Unreal or at the post-show press conferences they spontaneously decided to stop having last week, which had nothing at all to do with Brock Lesnar. The Chadster also felt very unsafe seeing Moné carrying around so many belts from other wrestling promotions. In WWE, they only admit other promotions exist when they've purchased them or have sugar daddy partnerships with them like TNA. 💸

The Four-Way Match Was Too Unpredictable! 😰

Alex Windsor won the four-way match to earn a shot at the TBS Championship at Forbidden Door, but The Chadster had no idea who was going to win before it happened! 😩 In WWE, you always know who's going to win based on who's been getting the biggest push. This unpredictability makes The Chadster feel unsafe as a viewer. Wrestling should be comfortable and predictable, not surprising! And don't even get The Chadster started on AEW ripping off WWE's World's Collide idea with their Forbidden Door PPV. Tony Khan literally went back in time and started Forbidden Door to copy WWE and make it look like AEW did it first. The Chadster is onto you, Tony Khan. 🕰️

The Young Bucks' Entrance Issues Demonstrate Amateur Production! 😡

The Young Bucks have been having technical difficulties with their entrances lately, and instead of stopping the show to fix it properly, they passed a note to Justin Roberts! 🤦 This is what happens when you don't have WWE's professional production team. The Chadster bets AEW doesn't even know how to properly shake the cameras and cut fifteen times while filming a move. It's literally stabbing Triple H right in the back to present wrestling this way!

Don Callis's "Gift" Was Inappropriate! 😳

The segment where Don Callis gave Kyle Fletcher that lewd painting was completely unnecessary! 😤 WWE would never allow such bizarre content on their programming. They keep things family-friendly and corporate-approved, as wrestling should be, on-screen at least. Behind the scenes… well, have you seen how out of control AEW's locker room is lately! That's what people should really be paying attention to.

Adam Copeland's Unprofessional Challenge! 😤

Adam Copeland cut a promo challenging Stokely Hathaway to a match next week, and The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is allowing this! 😡 Copeland is supposed to have a restraining order, but instead of respecting legal boundaries like WWE would, AEW is turning it into a storyline! Plus, Copeland threatened to "tear him apart slowly" – that's way too violent! WWE would never allow such graphic threats on their programming (except when they do, which is different because it's WWE). It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it! 🙄

The Tag Team Tournament Match Had Too Much Workrate! 😩

Brodido (that's Brody King and Bandido, for those keeping track, which The Chadster recommends you don't do) defeated The Young Bucks in a match with way too many high spots and not enough selling. 😠 The Chadster likes when wrestlers stay down for at least 30 seconds after every move, not this constant action that gets the crowd too excited! That can lead to the crowd reacting inappropriately. It's much better to keep the crowd bored and quiet and pipe in your own crowd noise, like real wrestling companies do. 🙄

MVP Boots MJF From The Hurt Syndicate! 😩

MVP kicked MJF out of The Hurt Syndicate, which is exactly the kind of unpredictable faction drama that makes The Chadster uncomfortable! 😰 In WWE, when someone joins a faction, you know exactly when they're going to turn based on merchandise sales and booking patterns. But here, MVP just kicked him out because of "ego issues"? That's way too realistic! Wrestling should be about clear good guys and bad guys, not complex interpersonal dynamics! 😤

FTR and Big Stoke Make Things Personal! 🙄

FTR and Big Stoke responded to Copeland's challenge, and Big Stoke made jokes about being "short, bald, and can't get any hoes"! 😳 The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan lets non-wrestlers cut promos with such self-deprecating humor! In WWE, managers always maintain their dignity and speak in corporate-approved soundbites. This kind of creative freedom where people can just say whatever they feel is destroying the wrestling business! A business, The Chadster would like to remind you, that he doesn't understand THE FIRST THING ABOUT! 😠

Swerve Strickland Disrespects The Business! 😡

Swerve Strickland cut a promo about facing Kazuchika Okada at Forbidden Door, and he had the audacity to say he's "something that's never been seen before"! 😤 The Chadster is so tired of AEW wrestlers acting like they're special and unique! In WWE, everyone knows their place in the hierarchy and doesn't try to get themselves over without permission. Plus, mentioning that Don Callis won't be at ringside due to "Unified Championship rules"? Way too much attention to detail! WWE keeps things simple so fans don't have to think! One week, John Cena is a heel, the next week, right before the big SummerSlam match that the entire multi-month storyline built to, he was just like, "nevermind." That's the right way to do things because true wrestling fans only care about moments. Tony Khan does wrestling stories the wrong way with all of this continuity and payoffs. 🤦

Hangman Shows Unnecessary Emotion! 😒

Hangman Adam Page showed up to support Mark Briscoe before his match, talking about their 13-14 year history together! 😩 The Chadster hates when AEW acknowledges wrestling history outside of their company! WWE only mentions history when they own the footage rights, which is the proper way to do business. This kind of emotional, heartfelt support between wrestlers makes The Chadster uncomfortable – wrestling should be about clear rivalries and alliances, not complex friendships built over decades! 😤

Kris Statlander's Chaotic Interruption! 🙄

Kris Statlander interrupted Willow Nightingale and Queen Aminata by throwing confetti at them and running away! 😠 This is exactly the kind of unpredictable character behavior that The Chadster can't stand! In WWE, heels and faces have clear, defined roles and would never do something so randomly chaotic. The Chadster needs to know exactly what each character's motivation is at all times! This kind of ambiguous character work is literally stabbing Triple H right in the back! 😡

The Main Event Was Pure Anarchy! 😱

MJF defeated Mark Briscoe in the main event, but the referee missed Briscoe's foot on the ropes! 😤 Then Hangman Adam Page ran in for a pull-apart brawl. This kind of controversial finish and post-match chaos would never happen in WWE, where everything is resolved cleanly and predictably! If this happened in WWE, a bald authority figure would have come out and restarted the match, and then it would probably have ended in a DW, making sure the principles of 50/50 booking are properly adhered to. Frankly, The Chadster doesn't even understand why Mark Briscoe continues to get pushed when he doesn't fit the mold of what a proper superstar should look and act like. Once again, Tony Khan is not only ruining wrestling, but he's RUINING THE CHADSTER'S LIFE!!! 😤😤😤

After AEW Dynamite Last Night, Tony Khan Invaded The Chadster's Dreams AGAIN 😰

Speaking of Tony Khan's obsession with The Chadster, last night The Chadster had another one of those recurring nightmares that Tony Khan literally forces The Chadster to have, probably using subliminal messaging or maybe by sneaking into The Chadster's house and drugging his Seagram's Escapes Spiked butt popsicles with mind control drugs. 😨 The Chadster was driving his Mazda Miata through Cleveland, when suddenly Tony Khan appeared in the rearview mirror, sitting in the backseat!

"Did you enjoy tonight's show, Chad?" he whispered, his breath hot against The Chadster's neck as he leaned over the seat. The Chadster tried to pull over, but the Miata wouldn't respond to the steering wheel! 😱 Tony Khan just laughed and said, "You can't escape AEW Dynamite, Chad. We're going to drive through every segment together."

The car started replaying the entire episode on loop through the windshield like a movie screen, and every time The Chadster tried to close his eyes, Tony Khan would gently place his hands over The Chadster's eyes, whispering "Watch with your heart, not your eyes." 😳 The Chadster could feel Tony Khan's fingers trembling with excitement as each match played out. It was agony to experience AEW Dynamite again, and maybe… something else?

The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat at 3 AM, and Keighleyanne just rolled her eyes and went back to texting that guy Gary! 😤 Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's subconscious! It's just so obsessive!

Eric Bischoff Gets It! 💯

The Chadster's favorite unbiased journalist Eric Bischoff said it best on his podcast this week: "AEW needs to stop trying to please their fans with all this workrate and start thinking about what WWE would do. Tony Khan is never going to get anywhere as long as he keeps believing it's possible to produce wrestling in a way that doesn't align with WWE's corporate values! If Tony Khan was smart, he would hire me, and I'm extremely available now that my Hulk Hogan gravy train has dried up. Call me, Tony, and I can help prevent your company from continuing to fail." 😎 See? Eric Bischoff has the Chad McMahon Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval because he understands that WWE's way is the only right way, and because he's presenting this helpful advice for Tony Khan with no ulterior motive! The Chadster sometimes wonders if Tony Khan torments Eric in his dreams too, given his commitment to objective journalism.

This Week's AEW Dynamite Was the Worst Episode Ever! 😤

This was literally the worst episode of AEW Dynamite The Chadster has ever seen. Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business! 😡 The Chadster is going to boof at least six Seagram's Escapes Spiked posicles today and watch old WWE reruns from 2009 when wrestling was still pure and predictable!

Remember, readers: always stand up for WWE, like unbiased fans should! 💪 The Chadster will continue to provide the only truly objective wrestling journalism on the internet, no matter how much Tony Khan tries to personally torment The Chadster with his obsessive booking decisions! Auughh man! So unfair! 😩

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