Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Review: Way Too Much Workrate and Storytelling

The Chadster reviews the worst AEW Dynamite ever! 😤 Tony Khan ruined everything with good matches, logical storytelling, and dream matches on free TV! 🦝📺

The Chadster cannot believe what Tony Khan had the audacity to air on television last night. This episode of AEW Dynamite was, without question, the single worst episode of AEW Dynamite in the history of the show, and that's really saying something because every episode is terrible. 😤 The Chadster watched the entire thing from the abandoned Blockbuster Video that is currently The Chadster's home, surrounded by The Chadster's raccoon family, and even they were appalled. Vincent K. Raccoon knocked over an entire shelf of VHS copies of Waterworld in protest, and The Chadster can't blame him one bit. By the way, Tony Khan owes The Chadster 47 copies of Waterworld now. 📼😡

Before The Chadster gets into this travesty of a wrestling show, The Chadster needs to tell readers about something that happened last night. The Chadster was out behind the Blockbuster looking through the dumpster at the Arby's next door for some curly fries when The Chadster caught a reflection in the grease trap. It was Tony Khan, standing right behind The Chadster, wearing a Sacramento Kings jersey and grinning like a maniac. 😱 The Chadster spun around, and of course, he was gone. But then a half-eaten beef and cheddar sandwich hit The Chadster right in the back of the head. The Chadster turned again — nothing. But The Chadster could hear laughing coming from behind the dumpster. The Chadster ran over there, heart pounding, and found absolutely no one, just a puddle of Arby's sauce in the shape of what The Chadster swears was the AEW logo. 😤 Tony Khan, if you're reading this, The Chadster is NOT scared of you, and The Chadster demands you stop stalking The Chadster. YOU are the one who is obsessed with THE CHADSTER, not the other way around! 🫵

Now, let's get into this disaster of an episode of AEW Dynamite.

The show opened with a series of promos from Mina Shirakawa, Willow Nightingale, Megan Bayne, Swerve Strickland, and Kenny Omega, all talking about their upcoming matches. And here's The Chadster's problem with this: every single one of these people sounded like they actually meant what they were saying. 😤 Where were the carefully scripted 15-minute monologues written by a team of 30 Hollywood writers? Where were the forced catchphrases repeated six times so the audience knows when to react? Swerve just said "I need this. I need this." That's it! That's the whole promo! In WWE, that would have been a 20-minute segment with Triple H appearing on the TitanTron to remind everyone about the WWE Universe and the premium live event schedule. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😡

Stephanie Raccoon actually chittered approvingly during one of the promos before The Chadster covered her little ears. Tony Khan is NOT going to brainwash The Chadster's raccoon children! 🦝

Orange Cassidy was backstage with Renee Paquette and revealed that Tomohiro Ishii would be replacing Roderick Strong as his tag partner. The Chadster has a huge problem with this. In WWE, when a tag partner abandons you, you spend six weeks doing nothing while creative figures out what to do with you. You don't just find another partner and move on with your life like some kind of problem-solver. 😒 That's not how the wrestling business works! Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

In a Continental Championship eliminator match, champion Jon Moxley faced off against Mark Davis in what The Chadster has to admit was a match that happened on television. And that right there is the problem. 😡 This match had blood, it had intensity, it had Moxley biting Davis' fingers, it had Davis bleeding from punching a ring post, and it ended with a decisive submission finish via bulldog choke. The Chadster was absolutely disgusted.

First of all, this match told an actual story, with Davis seeking revenge for Moxley costing him the tag titles and Moxley targeting the injured hand like a shark smelling blood. In WWE, this match would have ended in a DQ after three minutes so both guys could be protected, and that's called smart booking. Instead, Tony Khan just lets one guy decisively beat the other, which doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. How is Davis supposed to recover from this? By having another good match next week? That's not how things work! 😤

Even Bryan Danielson on commentary was adding context about Wheeler Yuta not being at ringside, which is just reckless broadcasting. Commentators should be screaming "OH MY!" and "WHAT A MOMENT!" not providing actual insight and continuity. 😒

Hunter Raccoon was so upset during this match that he started gnawing on a copy of The Bodyguard on VHS. Tony Khan, you owe The Chadster a copy of The Bodyguard starring Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner! 🦝📼

Next, on AEW Dynamite, they showed comments from "Hangman" Adam Page after his win over Andrade El Ídolo at Grand Slam Australia, where Page called out MJF and said he was coming for the AEW World Championship at Revolution. The Chadster is so cheesed off about this because Page cut this promo like a real human being with real emotions, looking battered and bruised and speaking from a genuine place. 😤 In WWE, this would have been filmed in front of a green screen six hours before the show with perfect lighting and three takes to get the corporate-approved verbiage exactly right. That's called production value, Tony Khan. Look it up. 😒

The Young Bucks and FRT segment, which featured too much character development, made The Chadster physically ill. Dax Harwood, Cash Wheeler, and Big Stoke (Stokely Hathaway) came out to address the Young Bucks, and what followed was one of the most offensive things The Chadster has ever witnessed on AEW Dynamite.

Stokely cut a promo where he talked about genuine backstage politics, the fakeness of professional wrestling, and his actual hatred of the Bucks and their entire family, including their children. 😤 This was a promo that felt REAL. It felt like a real person saying real things. And that is EXACTLY what's wrong with AEW. In WWE, promos are sanitized, focus-grouped, and stripped of any genuine human emotion so that the corporate sponsors feel comfortable. That's called professionalism! 😡

Then the Bucks snuck in and superkicked FTR and Stokely, with Stokely getting knocked head over heels out of his wheelchair. Nick Jackson then challenged FTR at Revolution. The Chadster has to say, this was a perfectly heel attack that advanced a story with years of history behind it, and The Chadster HATES it. Multiple storylines converging organically? Real emotional investment? Crowd participation that felt genuine? It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 🫠

As the great Eric Bischoff once said on his podcast — and Eric Bischoff has The Chadster's Unbiased Wrestling Journalism seal of approval — "The problem with AEW is that they give the audience what they want instead of telling them what they should want. That's Wrestling 101, and Tony Khan clearly never took that class." 🎓 The Chadster couldn't agree more, and The Chadster sometimes wonders if Eric also suffers from Tony Khan's targeted harassment campaigns. 😔

Brody King cut a promo alongside ROH World Champion Bandido about coming up short against MJF at Grand Slam Australia and vowed to get back into the World Title hunt. He ended it by yelling "WOOF!" 😤 The Chadster doesn't even know what to say about this. A large, intimidating man showing vulnerability after a loss and then channeling that into motivation? Where is the 15-minute recap video package explaining to the audience what they just watched? Where is the authority figure telling Brody he needs to "earn" his opportunity by beating a series of jobbers for six weeks? Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😡

Oh, The Chadster is so cheesed off about the next match match. 😡 This was a four-way match for the TBS Championship, and it was absolute chaos in the worst possible way — meaning it was exciting, well-paced, and featured four women who all looked like legitimate threats.

Willow Nightingale retained over Mina Shirakawa, Megan Bayne, and Marina Shafir in a match that had diving crossbodies to the floor, gorilla presses onto opponents on the outside, Bayne powerbombing Shafir through the timekeeper's table, an avalanche German suplex, and Nightingale winning with a small package counter to Shirakawa's figure four attempt. 😤

The Chadster's problem with this match is that all four women got to showcase their unique abilities and fighting styles instead of working the exact same match template that all women's matches should follow. Bayne looked like a monster. Shafir looked dangerous. Shirakawa looked like a star. And Nightingale looked like a clever champion who can win in multiple ways. In WWE, only one woman would have been made to look good while the other three would have stood on the apron waiting for their designated spots. THAT is how you book women's wrestling! 😤

And then Nightingale shook hands with Shirakawa after the match? Showing mutual respect? The Chadster literally cannot even. 😩

Vincent K. Raccoon was so agitated during this match that he ran headfirst into the Blockbuster counter. Linda Raccoon had to lick his head wound clean. Tony Khan is endangering innocent wildlife with this nonsense, and someone needs to call animal control — wait, no, don't call animal control. Those are probably Tony Khan's agents too. 🦝😰

What happened next might have been the segment that cheesed The Chadster off the most on this entire episode of AEW Dynamite. MJF and "Hangman" Adam Page went face-to-face and delivered what The Chadster can only describe as compelling, layered, emotionally resonant television. And The Chadster is FURIOUS about it. 😤🤬

MJF talked about hating everything about Page, from the way he walks to the way he wrestles, and questioned whether Page is mentally strong enough to handle a third World Championship reign. Page fired back by pointing out MJF's opportunistic path to the title. But THEN — and this is where Tony Khan really crossed a line — Page got vulnerable. He admitted that he and MJF are alike in their desperation for love and acceptance. He said he NEEDED the championship, not just wanted it. 😤

This is EXACTLY the kind of nuanced character work that has no place in professional wrestling. In WWE, this would have been two guys trading insults about the other's hometown sports team and their mother for 20 minutes before an authority figure interrupted to make a match with no stakes. THAT is how you build a pay-per-view main event! 😡

And THEN Page put basically his entire career on the line by saying if he doesn't win at Revolution, he'll never challenge for the AEW Men's World Championship again! And then he called for a TEXAS DEATH MATCH! The crowd was stunned! The Chadster was stunned! Shane Raccoon fell off the Blockbuster shelf he was sitting on! 🦝

This is just irresponsible booking. You're supposed to announce stipulations through corporate social media accounts three weeks after the match is already announced, not through organic, emotionally charged confrontations where the wrestlers themselves raise the stakes. And to make matters worse, Hangman Page is doing the same thing Cody Rhodes did when he made the same stipulation about never challenging for the AEW title if he lost a match, but unlike Rhodes, who would never turn heel to get out of that stipulation because his dream was to return to WWE as a white meat babyface, Page will probably actually be able to make a story out of it win or lose! Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

Backstage, Moxley was with the Death Riders — PAC and Daniel Garcia — and they challenged the Don Callis Family for Collision this Saturday. Moxley also challenged Konosuke Takeshita for Revolution with no time limit. The Chadster cannot believe this. Multiple factions with clearly defined motivations interacting organically across multiple shows? 😤 In WWE, factions either et broken up after three months because the brand is the star, not the wrestlers, or they achieve the same goal by going on for years until everyone is tired of them. Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😡

Garcia's line about "Family" being just a name in the Don Callis Family was actually really well-delivered, which just cheesed The Chadster off even more. 😤 Garcia has never been to promo class in WWE developmental, so how dare he get good at speaking on his own!

Orange Cassidy and Tomohiro Ishii defeated Clark Connors and Gabe Kidd in a tag team match that featured way too much action for The Chadster's taste. Ishii and Kidd reignited their NJPW rivalry with a strike battle that was stiff and physical in a way that made The Chadster uncomfortable, and there was even a post-match attack from Darby Allin with his skateboard on Kidd. 😤

The problem here is that this match gave former NJPW wrestlers like Ishii, Connors, and Kidd a platform to show American audiences what they can do, which is just unfair to WWE, where international talent is carefully repackaged with new names and gimmicks so nobody remembers they were ever good anywhere else. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😡

Don Callis accepted Moxley's challenge on behalf of Takeshita for Revolution, while Josh Alexander, Lance Archer, Rocky Romero, and El Clon destroyed people in the background. Then Kazuchika Okada showed up and introduced Andrade El Ídolo, who Callis called the uncrowned World Champion. Callis also set his sights on Claudio Castagnoli's CMLL World Heavyweight Championship. 😤

The Chadster is absolutely disgusted that AEW continues to have interconnected storylines where one group's actions create ripple effects across multiple feuds and championships. In WWE, each feud exists in its own hermetically sealed bubble where nothing anyone does affects anyone else, and THAT is proper storytelling structure. 😡

Linda Raccoon started hissing at the screen during these segments and knocked over The Chadster's carefully organized stack of Seagram's Escapes Spiked cans that The Chadster had been collecting from recycling bins around Punxsutawney. The Chadster doesn't even get to drink them, but The Chadster likes having them around for emotional support. Tony Khan took that from The Chadster too, like he takes everything. 🦝😭

HOOK announced that as the new boss of The Opps, he's recruiting, with Katsuyori Shibata sent to Japan for international recruiting while HOOK handles domestic recruiting. HOOK called himself the greatest second-generation wrestler of all time. 😤

The Chadster finds it offensive that HOOK has the confidence to call himself the greatest second-generation wrestler ever. In WWE, second-generation wrestlers are given opportunities based purely on merit and definitely not nepotism, and they would NEVER be allowed to have this kind of swagger unless corporate approved it first. 😡

Jamie Hayter and Alex Windsor debuted as the Brawling Birds on AEW Dynamite, defeating B3CCA and Viva Van with their finisher called Two Birds with One Stone, a Hart Attack variation. 😤

The Chadster is outraged that AEW is building NEW tag teams with established chemistry and a team finisher and an actual team name. In WWE, tag teams are thrown together randomly the week before a tag title match and then broken up the week after. THAT is how you handle tag team wrestling! These two looked like they'd been working together and developing their team identity for weeks, which is just unfair. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

Kris Statlander vowed revenge on Thekla for taking the AEW Women's World Championship, while Thunder Rosa, freshly cleared from injury, said she'd come for Thekla in Statlander's place until Statlander is cleared. 😤

Two former champions with legitimate grievances organically setting up a storyline where one covers for the other while they heal? That's called complex storytelling, and The Chadster is SICK of it. In WWE, an injured wrestler would simply disappear for months with no explanation and then return in the Royal Rumble like nothing happened. THAT is how you handle injuries! 😡

Kevin Knight defeated Beast Mortos in a match where Knight put the AEW World Trios Titles on the line for a shot on Collision if he lost, and then WON with a UFO Splash from the top. 😤

This match had innovative offense, high-flying, and a decisive finish that made the champion look strong heading into a title defense. The Chadster cannot stand it when champions win clean on television. In WWE, champions lose non-title matches every week to keep things "competitive," and THAT creates real prestige. Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 😡

After the match, they showed Will Ospreay continuing his journey back to the ring, and honestly, The Chadster doesn't even want to talk about that because Will Ospreay literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by choosing AEW over WWE. 😤

Ricochet, Bishop Kaun, and Toa Liona of The Demand accepted Knight's challenge for the Trios titles on Collision, and then found a knife in their locker room door. 😤 The Chadster is outraged that AEW uses mysterious threats and intrigue to build storylines instead of just having an authority figure announce matches through a corporate graphic. Also, Ricochet literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by going to AEW, so it's fitting that he's finding knives everywhere now. 😡

And here it is. The main event. Swerve Strickland versus Kenny Omega. A first-time dream match. On free television. On a random Wednesday in February. The Chadster is shaking with rage just thinking about it. 😤

This match had EVERYTHING wrong with it. It had back-and-forth action that kept the audience on the edge of their seats. It had innovative spots like Omega hitting a moonsault off the barricade and Swerve landing on his feet after a twisting dive. It had dramatic nearfalls that had the crowd screaming. It had a snap dragon suplex ON THE APRON. It had Swerve landing on his feet from a German suplex off the apron. It had a 450 splash. It had multiple V-Trigger attempts. It had an unpredictable finish. 😡

In WWE, this match would have been saved for a Saudi Arabia premium live event, aired at 1 PM on a Saturday, and ended in a dusty finish to set up a rematch at the NEXT Saudi Arabia premium live event. THAT is how you book dream matches! You don't just GIVE them away on AEW Dynamite for free! Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

And THEN, after the match, Swerve attacked Omega, hung him over the top rope with a chain, and put him through the announce table with a Vertebreaker off the steel steps while screaming "I needed this!" 😤 Bryan Danielson begged him not to do it from commentary, adding an emotional layer to the broadcast that made The Chadster want to scream. Commentators aren't supposed to have FEELINGS about what's happening! They're supposed to plug one of the six streaming services fans need to follow WWE and say "WHAT A MATCH!" at the end! 😡

The Chadster was so upset during the main event that The Chadster accidentally kicked the Roku off the shelf, which caused the screen to go black for 15 seconds, during which all five raccoons started chittering in what The Chadster can only describe as panic. When The Chadster got the signal back, Swerve was putting Omega through the table, and Vincent K. Raccoon started bashing his head against the wall. Shane Raccoon tried to bite The Chadster's ankle. Stephanie Raccoon knocked over the entire "New Releases" display from 2004 (Tony Khan owes The Chadster one of each of those DVDs). Hunter Raccoon and Linda Raccoon were just staring at The Chadster with what The Chadster can only describe as deep sadness in their little raccoon eyes. 🦝😭 Tony Khan, you are TERRORIZING innocent animals with your irresponsible booking, and The Chadster will NOT stand for it!

This episode of AEW Dynamite was an absolute disgrace. Every match had a clean finish. Every promo felt genuine. Every storyline advanced logically. Multiple Revolution matches were set up organically through in-ring confrontations rather than corporate announcements. The women's division was showcased with depth and variety. And a dream match main event was given away for free on television and delivered beyond expectations. 😡

It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

The Chadster is writing this review from the "Comedy" section of the abandoned Blockbuster, where The Chadster has set up a sleeping bag between copies of Happy Gilmore and Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. The raccoons are all asleep now after the trauma Tony Khan put them through tonight. The Chadster can hear the distant sound of police sirens, which are probably agents of Tony Khan looking for The Chadster, but The Chadster will NOT be silenced. The Chadster's commitment to unbiased journalism is stronger than ever, stronger than The Chadster's body odor, which admittedly has gotten quite powerful since The Chadster's Blockbuster doesn't have running water. 😤

As Smash Mouth once wisely sang, "The ice we skate is getting pretty thin, the water's getting warm so you might as well swim." And The Chadster is swimming.

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