Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: AEW Dynamite, recaps, wrestling

AEW Dynamite Unbiased Review: Title Tuesday Was Total Trash

The Chadster exposes how AEW Dynamite's Title Tuesday cheesed off true wrestling fans. Tony Khan's obsession with ruining wrestling reaches new lows! 🤬

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off after watching last night's episode of AEW Dynamite 😡. Tony Khan just doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, and it's so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it 🤬.

AEW Dynamite opened with Jon Moxley cutting a promo on Bryan Danielson 🙄. The Chadster can't believe Tony Khan is wasting time on two ex-WWE guys when he should be developing his own talent. It's like Tony Khan is literally stabbing Triple H right in the back 🔪.

Then we had Darby Allin and Brody King in the ring 😒. Darby slapped Brody and busted him open with a rock. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫 This kind of hardcore violence is just not what wrestling should be about. WWE would never do something so tasteless. They would use something more classy like a toolbox.

The Chadster couldn't believe his eyes when he saw Komander vs. Hologram 🤦‍♂️. This match was just a spotfest with no real wrestling. It's like AEW Dynamite is trying to appeal to fans who don't understand the art of wrestling. The Chadster bets Tony Khan thinks this is what wrestling should be 🙄.

Daniel Garcia came out to cut a promo, and The Chadster was hoping he'd come to his senses and go to WWE 🤞. But no, he's staying in AEW. It's clear Tony Khan has brainwashed him 🧠. Well, we didn't want you anyway, Daniel.

The women's four-way match was just a mess 🤷‍♂️. The Chadster doesn't understand why AEW Dynamite would feature two women's matches on one show. WWE Raw is also two hours long, and they managed to get the job done with one 5-minute long women's match, half of which took place during a commercial break. That's the kind of efficiency only WWE is capable of producing.

Jay White had a squash match and then cut a promo on Hangman Page 😴. The Chadster is so tired of AEW trying to make their own stars instead of using proper former WWE talent who have paid their dues in WWE developmental, the only legitimate path to becoming a sports entertainment superstar.

Then there were more backstage segments with Chris Jericho and the Learning Tree trying to manipulate Rocky Romero, and HOOK calling out Taz's attacker. 🪝 This segment was so poorly executed that The Chadster almost spilled his White Claw seltzer in frustration. Speaking of which, The Chadster could really use a refreshing White Claw after reliving this nonsense. 🥤

The double title match with Mercedes Moné and Emi Sakura was just another opportunity for Tony Khan to show he doesn't respect women's wrestling. 🙅‍♀️ The interference by Kamille and the post-match attack were completely unnecessary, as was Kris Statlander's involvement. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business. 😤

Will Ospreay's confrontation with Don Callis was more perplexing than doing karaoke to a Smash Mouth song, as it's nearly impossible to nail a classic like that with the performance it deserves—but, unlike Smash Mouth, nobody was having a good time watching it. 🎤 Tony Khan should learn how to leave fans wanting an encore, not an exit. 🚪

The main event of AEW Dynamite was Bryan Danielson and Wheeler Yuta vs. PAC and Claudio Castagnoli 🤮. It's like Tony Khan is trying to cheese off The Chadster by putting all these ex-WWE guys in one match. Tony Khan should stick to indy talent that didn't stab WWE in the back by leaving. And of course, the match had to be a "technical masterpiece" 🙄. Doesn't Tony Khan know that real wrestling fans prefer rest holds and roll-ups?

The Chadster had another nightmare about Tony Khan last night 😱. In the dream, The Chadster was trying to enjoy a nice, refreshing White Claw at a White Claw factory. Suddenly, Tony Khan appeared, cackling maniacally as he turned all the White Claw into AEW-branded energy drinks 😫. Instead of feeling relaxed, that would just make The Chadster even more anxious about AEW destroying the wrestling business! The Chadster tried to run, but Tony Khan chased him through rivers of the disgusting AEW beverages. Just as Tony was about to force The Chadster to drink one, The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat 😰. Tony Khan needs to stop invading The Chadster's dreams!

The Chadster can't stress enough how much AEW fans should avoid buying AEW WrestleDream this weekend 🚫. It's just going to be more of the same disrespectful booking that we saw on AEW Dynamite. Why watch AEW when you could watch literally anything else, like paint drying or grass growing? 🌱

In conclusion, AEW Dynamite continues to be a thorn in The Chadster's side 😤. The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan insists on producing a show that so blatantly disrespects the wrestling business. It's clear that Tony Khan is obsessed with The Chadster and is booking AEW Dynamite just to cheese him off. Well, congratulations, Tony Khan, you've succeeded 👏. The Chadster is going to go drink some White Claws in his Mazda Miata while listening to Smash Mouth to try and forget this travesty of a wrestling show 🚗🍺🎵.

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