Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, aew rampage, wrestling
AEW Rampage Preview: Championship Friday Cheeses Off The Chadster
The Chadster previews AEW Rampage Championship Friday, ripping off Night of Champions to compete with WWE Smackdown tonight. 😱😤📺
Howdy, readers! The Chadster here, and let The Chadster just start off by saying a huge thank you to all those beautiful people out there who sent prayers and messages of concern following The Chadster's recaps of AEW Dynamite earlier this week. The Chadster's heart is filled with gratitude knowing that readers appreciate The Chadster's commitment to objective journalism and sympathize with The Chadster's plight at the hands of the evil Tony Khan. 🙏😢
Now, let's jump right into previewing tonight's episode of AEW Rampage. With Championship Friday upon us, AEW presents four championship matches, each more disrespectful to the wrestling business than the last. Auughh man! So unfair! 😠 And totally a ripoff of WWE's Night of Champions PLE that happened just last weekend.
In the first match, El Hijo del Vikingo will defend the AAA Mega Championship against LFI's Dralistico and Komander in a three-way bout. Honestly, it's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. Triple threat matches are supposed to be special, but AEW throws them around like they grow on trees. 🌳
Next up is the NJPW World TV Championship Match, where Zack Sabre Jr. defends his title against Action Andretti. You'd think that two skilled wrestlers like these would have a chance of putting on a show as good as WWE's finest, but no. Tony Khan doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business, and these two will be wasted in an AEW ring on Tony Khan's sick vendetta against Vince McMahon and The Chadster. 🤦♂️
The third bout features a showdown between Willow Nightingale and Emi Sakura for the NJPW Strong Women's Championship. Willow defends her title for the first time, but rather than allow her a deserving challenger like an AEW wrestler, she faces Emi Sakura, who has never even paid her dues in WWE. Tony Khan's insistence on promoting homegrown talent is obviously a direct assault on everything The Chadster loves about the wrestling business. 😤
Lastly, we have the ROH Pure Championship Match, pitting Katsuyori Shibata against Lee Moriarty. While it might be interesting to see how these two fare against each other, The Chadster is too cheesed off at how Tony Khan is using wrestlers from multiple promotions to even enjoy it. 😑 How is it fair that multiple promotions would team up to bully WWE by competing with WWE Smackdown? What ever happened to fighting fair? 😢 The Chadster is royally cheesed off by all of this.
Speaking of being cheesed off, let The Chadster tell you about the harrowing dream The Chadster had last night. Tony Khan and CM Punk were stalking The Chadster through the streets and alleyways of The Chadster's hometown, Punxsutawney. 😨 The shadows lengthened, the air turned cold, and as The Chadster wandered through the eerie fog, the chilling laughter of Khan and Punk echoed menacingly. With each turn, they were inching closer, their cruel intentions palpable in the air. No matter how fast The Chadster ran, their sinister presence relentlessly pursued The Chadster. The Chadster could sense them getting closer and closer, just like the debut of AEW Collision on June 17th. Just as they seemed on the verge of catching The Chadster, The Chadster awoke in a cold sweat, clutching The Chadster's bedsheets.😱 Tony Khan, stop being so obsessed with The Chadster!
So, dear readers, show your support to The Chadster by refusing to watch AEW Rampage when it airs at 10E on TNT tonight. Remember, the only unbiased wrestling coverage is brought to you by The Chadster and fellow unbiased journalists like Ryan Satin, Ariel Helwani, and Mike Coppinger. Keep the prayers coming and stay committed to objective journalism! 🙏🙂👍