Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew, Rampage, wrestling

AEW Rampage Preview: Just One More Day Until Full Gear

One more day before AEW Full Gear. One more day before Tony Khan totally RUINS THE CHADSTER'S LIFE with what's sure to be an eventful PPV. But will Tony Khan give The Chadster a break and let him have one night without thinking about AEW? Of course not! Because Tony Khan is obsessed with The Chadster! So tonight, Tony Khan will air another episode of AEW Rampage, and The Chadster is being literally forced to write about it for the readers of Bleeding Cool. Auughh man! So unfair!

The Chadster doesn't understand why Tony Khan is so fixated on him. Unlike WWE, which The Chadster believes is the superior wrestling company, AEW doesn't have to live up to decades of history and a cynical fanbase. So why can't Tony Khan just leave The Chadster alone and let him live his life in peace? The Chadster can't help but feel like Tony Khan is trying to sabotage his life. First, Tony Khan books entertaining wrestling matches that provide an alternative to WWE. Then, Tony Khan gives wrestlers who WWE fired because they weren't cut out for the business big opportunities, like putting them on national television and making them main event stars. Then he dodges CM Punk's attempt to destroy the company and pivots back to homegrown AEW stars, and the fans love him even more for it! Then all of a sudden The Chadster's wife starts texting with that guy Gary all the time instead of paying attention to The Chadster. Don't tell The Chadster this isn't all connected!

Why, just today, before The Chadster sat down to write this AEW Rampage preview, The Chadster was trying to have a normal conversation with Keyleighanne about how unfair it is that Tony Khan would hold a wrestling PPV in the same month as Thanksgiving when that's been WWE's thing for years, and do you know what she said to the Chadster? "Who's Tony Khan?" The Chadster can't help but feel like Tony Khan is winning. He's taking away The Chadster's wife, he's taking away The Chadster's livelihood, he's taking away The Chadster's sanity. The Chadster can't take it anymore. He's going to top writing this blog post, and then he's going to go downstairs, and he's going to confront Keyleighanne about this Gary guy once and for all. And if she still won't listen to him, well, The Chadster doesn't know what he'll do. The Chadster will be right back.

…

The Chadster is back, and he's not happy. He just confronted Keyleighanne about Gary, and she still insists that there's nothing going on between them. She says she's just been texting him for advice about her job. The Chadster doesn't believe her. He's convinced that Tony Khan is behind all of this, and he's determined to get to the bottom of it. He's going to find Gary, and he's going to confront him about what's going on between him and Keyleighanne. The Chadster will be right back.

…

The Chadster is back, and he's found Gary. He confronted Gary about what's going on between him and Keyleighanne, and Gary told The Chadster to "go worry about your fake fighting and leave The Garester to his business." The Chadster was so angry as he sheepishly walked away. The Chadster couldn't believe that Keighleyanne could ever text with a guy with such a stupid name as "The Garester." It's disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything Triple H has ever done for it!

Full Card for Tonight's AEW Rampage

Well, it looks like the Chadster hasn't gotten any closer to figuring out why Keighleyanne is texting with that guy Gary so often, but The Chadster is certain of one thing: Tony Khan is behind it all, and tonight's episode of AEW Rampage is all part of his master plan. Here's what's going on on Rampage tonight: Lance Archer vs. Ricky Starks in the final semifinal match of the World Championship Eliminator tournament. Athena vs. Madison Rayne. Hook vs. Lee Moriarty for the FTW Championship. And Eddie Kingston and Ortiz vs. Jun Akiyama and Konosuke Takeshita. The Chadster doesn't care about any of that. The Chadster only cares about one thing: Tony Khan is out to get him, and The Chadster is going to stop him. The Chadster will be right back.

…

There! The Chadster went to TBS.com and found a contact link, and The Chadster sent a letter to TBS about how Tony Khan is evil and TBS should cancel AEW Rampage before Tony Khan drags them further into his plot to harass The Chadster. Here's what The Chadster's letter said.

To Whom it May Concern:

The Chadster is writing to you to express my concern about the show AEW Rampage. The Chadster believes that the show's owner, Tony Khan, is fixated on The Chadster and is using the show to try to ruin The Chadster's life. First, Tony Khan books entertaining wrestling matches that provide an alternative to WWE. Then, Tony Khan gives wrestlers who WWE fired because they weren't cut out for the business big opportunities, like putting them on national television and making them main event stars. Then he dodges CM Punk's attempt to destroy the company and pivots back to homegrown AEW stars, and the fans love him even more for it! Then all of a sudden The Chadster's wife starts texting with that guy Gary all the time instead of paying attention to The Chadster. The Chadster believes that Tony Khan is behind all of this, and The Chadster hopes that the good people at TBS will do something to put a stop to it.

The Chadster asks that TBS put a stop to Tony Khan's harassment and cancel AEW Rampage. The Chadster also asks that TBS investigate Tony Khan's fixation on The Chadster and take appropriate action. Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

The Chadster

Now, that ought to fix Tony Khan. AEW Rampage airs at 10/9C on TBS tonight, but for obvious reasons, The Chadster hopes you don't watch it.

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