Posted in: AEW, Sports, TV | Tagged: aew rampage, recaps, wrestling

AEW Rampage Review: An Unsightly Blemish on WWE MITB Weekend

The Chadster reviews AEW Rampage's disastrous episode and condemns Tony Khan's audacious attempt to upstage WWE's Money in the Bank. 😱🤼‍♂️

The Chadster is absolutely cheesed off right now! 😡😡😡 Last night's episode of AEW Rampage was, without a doubt, the worst episode of televised so-called wrestling The Chadster has ever seen. But you know what? That's not even the worst thing happening this weekend, because AEW is doing the unthinkable. Tony Khan's respect for the wrestling business has sunk so low that he is actually planning to air AEW Collision up against tonight's WWE Money in the Bank PLE. It's just so disrespectful to the wrestling business and everything WWE has ever done for it. 😤

Tony Khan is trying to upstage WWE and siphon viewers from the greatest PLE in the history of the business. The Chadster condemns this naughty behavior in the strongest possible terms. Auughh man! So unfair! 😫

But let's talk about AEW Rampage, shall we? 🙄 The show started with a match between Komander and Rush. Now, The Chadster knows that WWE would never book a match like this because it doesn't make any sense. Why would you have two luchadors fighting each other when you could have a nice, clean wrestling match between two technically sound performers like, say, Chad Gable and Otis? 🤼‍♂️

The match was just a spotfest with no regard for psychology or storytelling. Rush won, but does it even matter? Tony Khan clearly doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🤦‍♂️

Next up was a tag team match featuring Konosuke Takeshita and Kyle Fletcher against Private Party. The Chadster couldn't believe his eyes when he saw this match. It's like Tony Khan is purposely trying to cheese The Chadster off! 😠 These teams have no chemistry, no story, and no reason to be fighting each other. In WWE, we get meaningful tag team matches with established teams like The Judgment or The New Day. This match was just a bunch of random moves strung together with no rhyme or reason. Takeshita and Fletcher won, but it literally stabbed Triple H right in the back by existing. 🗡️

The Chadster had to take a break after this match to throw his White Claw seltzer at the TV. 🍹💥 Of course, this created a mess on the floor, and The Chadster tried to convince Keighleyanne to clean it up. But she just rolled her eyes and said, "Chad, you need to take responsibility for your actions. This isn't Tony Khan's fault." Can you believe it? Tony Khan has even turned The Chadster's wife against him! 😢

The next match was Kyle O'Reilly vs GPA. The Chadster remembers when Kyle O'Reilly was in NXT, doing real wrestling. Now he's stuck in AEW, wasting his talent on nobodies like GPA. It's just so sad to see. 😔 Kyle won, but at what cost? His dignity? His respect for the business? The Chadster fears it's both.

Finally, we had the main event, a semifinal match in the Owen Hart Foundation Women's Tournament between Mariah May and Hikaru Shida. The Chadster can't even begin to express how much he hates this tournament. It's a blatant attempt to capitalize on Owen Hart's legacy, something WWE would never do, no matter how much Martha Hart begs them to. 😤 The match itself was sloppy and uncoordinated, nothing like the crisp, clean women's matches we see in WWE. Mariah May won, but does it even matter in the grand scheme of things?

After watching this travesty, The Chadster had another one of his recurring nightmares about Tony Khan. In this dream, Tony was chasing The Chadster through a White Claw factory. Every time The Chadster tried to grab a can to quench his thirst, Tony would snatch it away and laugh maniacally. The dream ended with Tony dumping an entire vat of White Claw over The Chadster's head while whispering, "This is for objective journalism." The Chadster woke up in a cold sweat, his Smash Mouth nightlight barely comforting him. 😰

The Chadster demands that Tony Khan stop being so obsessed with him and start booking real wrestling instead of this indie garbage. But The Chadster knows that's too much to ask from someone who doesn't understand a single thing about the wrestling business. 🙄

In conclusion, AEW Rampage was a disaster from start to finish, and The Chadster can only hope that true wrestling fans will choose to watch WWE Money in the Bank tonight instead of AEW Collision. The Chadster knows he'll be watching the WWE PLE in the front seat of his Mazda Miata on the TV in his garage, blasting Smash Mouth, and drinking White Claw, just as the wrestling gods intended. 🚗🎵🍻

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