Posted in: CBS, Preview, Star Trek, streaming, Trailer, TV | Tagged: Beavis and Butt-head, dora the explorer, jackass, paramount, south park, spongebob squarepants, star trek, teenage mutant ninja turtles

Dora the Explorer Exposed! Fat-Shaming Cartman & Tim McGraw ID Theft

Look, we're sure we could argue the pros and cons of Paramount Global's (previously ViacomCBS) Paramount+ streaming service for hours- just like we could with every streaming service out there as they look to establish their respective identities. But if there's one thing that the streamer hasn't missed a beat on is their "Paramount Mountain" marketing campaign. Built around the concept that the mountain from the Paramount logo is actually home to all of the personalities on Paramount+. And with each visit, we get to see another aspect of Paramount Mountain as well as some very random characters & some very real people interacting. Like in the clip below,which begins with country music legend & "Yellowstone" prequel 1883 star Tim McGraw taking us on a tour of the "wildlife" that lives on "The Mountain." From there, we're introduced to a line-up that ranges from Beavis and Butt-head, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Cartman from "South Park" to the NFL, Crank Yankers, the "Star Trek" universe, Clifford the Big Red Dog, Bumblebee from the "Transformers" franchise, and a whole lot more. But unlike the previous visits, this one takes a very dark, unexpected, disturbing, and potentially criminal turn when the turth is revealed with the kind of ending that M. Night Shyamalan could appreciate…

Now from there, we get introduced to the "animal sanctuary" that makes up Paramount+ mountain with a line-up coordinated to the programming that the streamer has available. Pretty fun, right? Actually, kinda cute. We had bumblebees, hounds, wildcats, turtles (& rats), love birds (& birdies), sponges & sea stars (& reality stars), broncos, rams, ravens, colts, new species (nice to see you, "Star Trek"), and flying jackasses (as you're about to see):

But there was one that caught us off guard and had us questioning what exactly it was that we were seeing. Did we have to hit Cartman from South Park with the "giant hippo" line? Even if it is Cartman? It was especially disappointing to hear it come from McGraw. That is… until the other shoe dropped…

Because it wasn't McGraw at all this entire time. No, it was none other than… Dora the Explorer! That's right, and you know what? It should scare the living s**t out of us. Because with only Boots riding shotgun, Dora was able to turn Paramount Mountain into a human petting zoo that she runs with a cruel hand (that's the reason why she was so comfortable fat-shaming Cartman). And then there's the matter of identity theft when it comes to Dora assuming McGraw's persona. In fact, I don't want to get too dark but if Dora had to use lethal means to secure McGraw's horse, clothes, etc., then we might also be looking at a first-degree murder charge.

But much like Micky & Mallory from 1994's Natural Born Killers, Dora and Boots don't appear to have a care in the world as they move onto their next round of carnage:

Now here's a look at the video in its entirety so you can truly appreciate the dark turn it takes as we did:

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