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Face It: "The Mandalorian" Sucks at His Job, Baby Yoda Has Blood on Its Cute Little Hands [OPINION]
It's true. I said it. Why do I hate joy and all things cute (like The Mandalorian "star" Baby Yoda), you may be wondering? I am so glad you asked.
Now, just as a disclaimer, I don't hate Baby Yoda (which is already a complete misnomer because he's not actually Yoda) because he's cute – I dislike him for what he represents.
You may be wondering what that is, so… MAJOR SPOILERS! That's what.
So if you haven't seen Disney+'s The Mandalorian and care about that sort of thing, then come back later. But for the rest of you meme loving scoundrels…
I think the Mando should have killed Baby Yoda (or just kept him alive), collected the bounty, and walked away.
Why? Because that's his job. His life's work. He's in the Guild – the bounty hunter's guild, which means he went through a lot of crap to get into and thrive in this line of work. This is what he lives for.
Besides, his whole disobedience and "let me just bring this child thing along with me in my dangerous line of work even though I have no idea how to take care of a whatever this is" kind of led to a slight genocide of his people and the deaths of like a ton more characters. Smooth move, hopeless "hero".
And all this is traced back to Baby Yoda? Yes. Leave it to the Mando, our defacto "John Wayne"-esque hero to muck everything up. You had one job. Quite literally, my dude. One. Job. And that was to turn in the bounty and walk away. Warm or cold, doesn't matter. (Okay, it matters a little in this case, but still. One job.)
And he almost did it, but then he caught feelings. Why? Because apparently Baby Yoda is the one species in the whole galaxy that actually looks cute when they're babies. And this cuteness makes Mando do stupid, stupid things.
To be perfectly frank, there are times when our Mando isn't too smart. But hey, kudos to Jon Favreau for not making him go all moon-brained over a woman. Mando was not thinking clearly, but at least he was thinking with his heart as opposed to another not-his-brain part of his anatomy.
So, in short, why am I seemingly the only human in this galaxy who doesn't like Baby Yoda? Because the Mando should have done his job, and The Child's perceived super cuteness prevented him from doing that and cost a ton of lives. I get that gunslingers are reckless, that's kind of their thing (and this is just a very thinly disguised space flavored western), but bringing a child with you into the mix is just irresponsible.
TL;DR: Mando sucks at his job, has no idea how to raise a kid, should have left him and walked away. Worst. Mandalorian. Ever.
(But hey, it's not like there are any Mandos left, so good job, dude. You still suck.)